[hustons]

So I don't know if I'll remember this is hear or if I'll keep up with it but at least for now maybe it will make me feel better just to vent to a computer ...


Got rid of my IUD in July or August (can't even remember now) and haven't been too successful in TTC....although until recently, I guess we hadn't been trying very hard.

Started Lovenox bloodthinners in September and they hurt like #$#@%@$% My stomach looks like someone is abusing me because of the injection bruising....is sucks but I have to be on them through conception and birth which could take forever at this point!

SO I asked my Doc to put me on Clomid cause my cycles were beginning to be irregular (for the past year and a half they were right on). This is my first cycle on Clomid and I don't even think I ovulated......I'm now on CD37 with no signs of AF, a completely messed up looking chart and two BFNs......so not feelin too positive right now....

My DH really has no idea how hard it affects me because he's busy in his world and doesn't really ever think about me and what I might be feeling....I have colleagues that say "just stop thinking about it...do you think about it nonstop? Stop stressing...." yeah cause that's an easy thing to do....seriously.

I KNOW I'm stressing about it. I KNOW i'm letting it get to me, and I KNOW I'm probably the cause for not ovulating etc etc but when I'm a full time teacher and then a full time mom with a Dad who is rarely home before my DD has to sleep, I'm busy, stressed, tired, my house is a mess, I never have time for myself....eveyrthing is a mess.....so it's no wonder my body is reacting the way it is......

Maybe it'll get better......if only AF would come.....because at this point I'm ruling out any chance of a a BFP this time around....

[orange_pekoe]

By the looks of your siggie, you've done it once. You can do it again! Even with all of the medical craziness. Some things just take time, and your new baby will come when the time is really right, I just know it. Maybe INSIST that you take at least one day of just vegging out in the week and tell everyone else to take care of things, just for one day. To me, the best vacations are the ones lazing about at home. Good luck and stay positive!

[Jen84]

Sweetie, I didn't know you had to take Lovenox. I had to give DH shots twice a day after our hospital visit and the week leading up to his surgery. I didn't feel the pain but I definitly understand about what a pain they are. You would have to do them for a full nine months? The price we pay...

PM me if you ever need to talk!

[Crunchymommy]

Good luck & stay positive hope you get your soon...Here is some baby dust

[hustons]

ok so maybe I'm not out yet.....SO weird but I'm now on CD 44, still now signs of AF and infact, if my temps contine to rise, FF will tell me that I just OVULATED!!!! It is about **** TIME!!!!! hahaaha who knows....maybe my temps will go down and I wont have ovulated still (at which point I htink I may call my Doc cause I've never had a cycle this long....maybe something is wrong....) but maybe, just MAYBE they'll go back up and everything will be ok....maybe I'll at the very least have a chance...

[hustons]

looks like I OVULATED!!!!!!!!! I took my temp today with a more reliable thermometer and it was 97.5! So I upped yesterdays temp to what FF said it should've been had i Used their corrector and FF gave me crosshairs!! (otherwise they wouldn't have given my crosshairs till CD45 which I KNOW isn't right....

so YEAH!!! With any luck, those temps will keep going UP UP UP!!!

At this point, of course I want a BFP, but if I can go 11-14 days and then get AF, at least I'll know my cycles are ok and it was just stress keeping me from being regular. Crazy that as much as I want a , I'll even welcome !!!


Baby dust to ME!!!!

[orange_pekoe]

That's great news on both fronts (either AF or BFP!)!!!! Congratulations! You're on your way~ Baby dust!!!

[hustons]

ok so it's been 2 months since my last post and I'm still here. TTC. Funny though reading my first post because I don't feel like that at all now. I mean yes I stress over my house not being clean and my husband never being home, but as far as TTC #2 goes, i'm not stressing like I used to. I guess I'm realizing more and more that God gave me one blessing and i love her to PIECES. I'm luckier than a lot of women here who are having trouble conceiving baby #1. How can I complain about that?!

Anyway I had a completely normal cycle last cycle which makes me very happy. I'm now taking my second cycle of 150mg of clomid. I'm just praying that this time it helps me get my BFP.....but we'll see and again...it's really no big deal

My two BFFs are pregnant...one with TWINS and I'm so UNBELIEVABLY excited for them that sometimes I forget about my OWN TTC efforts!!! hahaah I'm just so thrilled that as our families get together in the coming years, there will be more than just MY child running around!!! How exciting is that???

[hustons]

My chart is looking HOT!!! My temps are up and continue to climb!!!! It's early though so a lot can happen. I feel a little pesimistic because I'm not really feeling any symptoms but then I have to remember that with my other two pregnancies, I didn't feel anything either. My temps just stayed up and I tested. I NEED to keep reminding myself of that so I don't get all worked up and stressed out! Maybe this is my month........oh gosh the excitement if it is....

I just got my BFP last Wednesday and hubby and I are very excited. I hope that you get your BFP this month. Good luck

[Erin84]

I never realized what background you were coming from with the meds and everything. You sure have a very positive attitude lately about things! What I hear is that women who have any "trouble" with AF or conceiving typically conceive almost as soon as they stop worrying, so let's hope a BFP is in your near future!

[katinagj]

I agree with the above. Many women who have a hard time have an even harder time when they are stressing about it! Glad your temps have been so high! And that you have such a positive attitude now! I've been stalking your chart, lol. Hope you get a soon!!!!

Sending baby dust your way!!

[hustons]

ok so I just found my journal here for the first time since....February? So here's an update on what has happened since:

from my last post - I DID actually end up with a BFP. Then miscarried at 7wks 5 days. My second miscarriage....though not in a row and because of all my medical problems (or possible problems) Doctors aren't going to have any kind of answer as to what happened with this one.

At any rate, my gyno ends up telling me that I'm diabetic and need to get treated. So I make an appt with an Endo who tells me I am not a diabetic. That I don't meet the criteria for a diabetic. That if I WAS pregnant, I would most definitely be a gestational diabetic but otherwise, I just have a glucose sensitivity. So they're basically treating me like a diabetic becuase they know I want to have another kid.

I haven't taken any meds yet because I'm waiting to see if maybe this cycle is the one. I didn't temp, didn't chart anything. This is my 4th cycle post MC. My cycles have been very regular all summer and now all of a sudden, they're not. I started getting EWCM at a time when I thought I might be pregnant. Thought maybe they were symptoms. So I took a HPT AND an OPK. The OPK came out positive so DH and I DTD immediately.

So I guess you could say our timing was right....but we only did it once (but it only takes once). I'm now roughly 10DPO but am trying not to test for a while. Not feeling any symptoms, but as you can read from my first post, I guess I don't usually feel symptoms early on anyway. So who knows, either I'll have a BFP by Friday or an AF by Friday.....whichever...

I'm thinking if it doesn't work out this cycle, I'm going to start tempin/charting etc. this time around. Seems like everytime I do that, I get a BFP. We'll see......here's hoping.

[<>*NaYoMi_BaBy_Dreamer*<>]

sorry about both of your mis carriages...i remember you! glad to see you have came back to your journal...I hope you get a soon & a sticky baby. glad you are not diabetic....are you using fertilityfriend.com ?

[hustons]

I didn't use it this time around because we really haven't been trying. In fact I'm quite lucky I took an OPK when I did becuase I think we caught ovulation day spot on! And....I think luck is about to be on my side!

Here's what has been going on with me these past few weeks:

two weeks ago I had lots of EWCM but I knew AF was due....took an HPT that was BFN. SO then I took an OPK and it was BFP! So Dh and I dtd immediately! Looks like we may have caught the egg....

Past few days: VERY vivid dreams: 1 night I dreamed I was flirting with Lebron James at a Cavaliers basketball game (which i NEVER watch!). Just last night I had several uh.....kinky dreams which I don't ever have unless I'm pregnant. I was nauseous in school today but only once. Got it again when I got home from school. So I tested.....

I used an EPT. I think I'm 10 or 11 DPO. The cross hair came up immediately but it was VERY faint. So I don't know. Maybe it's an evap....???? Maybe it's a BFP. I picked up my daughter and we went to the store. I bought two digis and two pink line tests. As soon as I Have to pee again, I'm taking a pink line one. If it looks good, I'll take a digi in the morning.

At any rate, as very excited as I am about this, I am EQUALLY if not even MORE scared out of my mind. I know I'm high risk already and that's never fun. I'm going to have to take care of mysef and this baby to the BEST of my abililty. I know I can do it, I'm just praying that God lets me keep this one.......