trying to make my family complete

Banned-Vmarie5 · #1 January 14th, 2009, 09:50 AM

i thought i would start my journal with my "story". It's long and complicated, so bear with me and try to keep up.

It all starts when i was a teemager. I had alot of problems with AF and pain and cysts. I had a LAP done when i was 14 and was told that my ovaries were filled with cysts and they scraped them to try to remove some cysts. They also said i would have alot of scar tissue and i was to get on BC to try to control the cysts and to keep the scar tissue down.

When i was 17 we moved to a new area and i had to see a new dr. He ran alot of tests on me after recieving my medical history. When the results came back he sent me for a US. After the US he called me in and told me.."If you want to have children you better not wait too long because the scar tissue that is in you ovaries could cause you fertility issues".

At this point in my life i was with a guy who i thought was "the love of my life". We had been together since i was 14. We got engaged my senior year of HS and planned on getting married in April of 04. It was set, but despite all that, I wanted children, so we decided to start tyring for a baby while i was still a senior in HS. WE waited untill the EDD would be after i well after i graduated so i would be sure to finish school.

With the help of my doctor before we even started trying, he gave me a script for prometrium to start AF.. and somrthing like clomid to induce O earlier. (we were using protection during this time frame) I did this regiment for 3 cycles and had, for the first time in my life, a 30 day cycle!

and they stayed that way!

we began temping, OPK, bding, checking CM CP... for almost a year.

in october of 03 it had been 10 or 11 months TTC, and i gave up. I decided i would just join the military and hope for a miracle.
the day i was to finish up paperwork with my Army recruiter, i POAS and got a BFP.

We werent trying, at all... actually i was working double shifts at my job, and he was working 7 days a week at his. We were never home at the same time, and if we were one of us was already asleep. We didnt DTD at all. My AF was 12/3/03 and from that day on we only DTD once the whole cycle.. on 12/18/03

The reason i remember this is because the next night my dog got hit by a car and her leg was broken so she was in a cast and HAD to sleep in bed with us.. (not really HAD to.. but im a sucker i guess) so we didnt DTD at all after the double shifts were over either.

on New Years i tried to drink my fav drink.. Vodka and orange juice and it didnt taste good at all. WEIRD
then when we tried to DTD the one time since the 18th it hurt like he**.. and that was odd for me..

So, i called a friend of mine who was also PG and asked her, and she told me i was preggo, to go get a test.
Well, walmart was an hour away, so ioff i went. I got there and grabbed the test and went right into the bathroom..lol

BFP..

to make this story a little shorter.. i had an awesome, uneventful pregnancy.

We moved again in my last month of pregnancy, and i got to go back to see the dr that did my surgery.
We went to see her for the first time 4 days b4 my EDD. and when i got to the office, she checked me and i was 4 cm and Bstrep +

so i went to be induced the next day.. 9/9/04.

That day just so happened to be my uncles birthday too. And he was very sick. Had cancer at age 27.
While i was in the hospital, he slipped into a coma. We took the baby to see him the day we came home, and he passed away 2 hrs later.

RIP Case William Johnson ILY

we named the baby after him.... Xane WIlliam Martin... 7 lbs 3 oz 19 3/4 inches at 3:49 pm

so here i was 19 years old.. with a beautiful baby boy.
And his father was gone all the time. Never came home after work. Disnt help with the baby...

So i kicked him out! I didnt care about being a "single parent" i just didnt want to have to worry about him anymore. I was tired. It had been 5 weeks since the baby was born, and i had used all my energy worrying about the babys father. I was done.

I was a wonderful "single mother". My baby was my world. I didnt even think about guys. I didnt need to, the only man i ever needed in my life was right there... My son.

After he was about 5 months old, and friend of mine got tired of seeing me without a man, and invited me to her place where her roomate (Justin) was single. I had met him before but had no real interest in him.

Reason being is that he is in a wheelchair. A T 5-6 quadriplegic. That may sound mean or whtever.. but i am being honest. I just couldnt see myself dateing someone in a chair.

Well i was wrong.. that first night i went up to "hang out", i fell in love. Pretty much from that night on, i never left. We moved in with him and I sold my place.

He told me early on in our relationship he was glad i had a son because he was told he wouldnt ever be able to have kids. (because of his disability) So i stopped taking my BC. And that same month in was Pregnant.

my son was only a year old, and Justin and I had only been together for 4 months !

It was destiny darling.. i would change it for anything in the world. I have 2 of the most beautiful little boys.. they are the best of friends..

will finish later.. part 2

Banned-Vmarie5 · #2 January 14th, 2009, 10:01 AM

part 2:

When my second son was 3 months old... a friend of mine got into a bit of trouble and the county agency took her little girl away from her. They put the little girl in foster care and it broke my heart. I was in the delivery room when she was born, and pretty much raised the little girl. So we decided to try to become foster parents to get her.

And we did! She came to live with us in july of 06... Shortly after the placement the mother found out she was pregnant again.

To make a long story short.. The mother ended up giving me custody of the older little girl, and when the baby was born, the agency took her too and she came to me. after almost 2 year they terminated the rights of the parents and we adopted her on 12/31/08.

so now that we have 2 boys and 2 girls i have decided that i am not finished.. i need a tie breaker!! lol

so we sre TTC #5...

a little bit of info left out from "part 1"

My DF is handicapped and has ED. He takes Caverject shots to achive erection. and we cannot DTD that frequiently due to his disability.. so timing is crutial!!

if anyone has questions i am not shy.. ask away!!

*babylove* · #3 January 15th, 2009, 08:17 AM

First off.. I wanted to say your story made me cry. I mean you had this amazing faith. I can tell by the way you have lead your life. I really hope you get yourself another baby. I hope she or he is great like you.

I have been trying for three years. My dh had a block vein and had surgery a year ago this month. We were told it would take time to build up.. blah blah. I am still waiting on my miracle.

Banned-Vmarie5 · #4 January 15th, 2009, 10:29 AM

thank you!! i hope so too...

you girls on here give such uplifting advise and are do nice.. couldnt ask for a better group of "friends"

*babylove* · #5 January 15th, 2009, 01:48 PM

well, we are here for everyone for everything!

<>*NaYoMi_BaBy_Dreamer*<> · #6 January 15th, 2009, 02:57 PM

I LOVE YOUR STORY SO MUCH!!! BABY BLESSINGS TO YOU

Banned-Vmarie5 · #7 January 15th, 2009, 05:30 PM

thank you for reading.. and blessings to you and your family too.

there are alot of things left out of my story.. mostly to make it less boring.

But nonetheless, even though i have been "lucky" in the past, this time around TTC has been proven difficult. Even though this is only my second month, i am NOT lucky enough to O around the same time every month, and with DF's disibility and erectile dysfunction, DTD is hard to time. He is only "allowed" to DTD 4 times a month.. and we CANNOT do it 2 days in a row. So its like "hit or miss" here. Hopefully we can get the timing down pat soon, and at least have some hope in the comming months. The past two months i have had no or very little hope because we couldnt time things right due to the ED.

So.. here i sit 4 DPO.. feeling some crampiness... I know its a bit early, but i am kinda considering this 5 DPO because i know i O'd late at night.. and my O day was considered the next day. But anyways... I have been very short tempered today, and easily agitated.

I got a few pimples today, which is odd... i dont usually get those till right b4 AF. Im kind of down in the dumps, and DF is being SOOOO supportive.. He brings be drinks, and snacks when i dont even ask for them.. (he's a keeper)

And he sings me songs all day long.. "would ya could ya aint ya gonna, if i asked ya, would ya wanna be my baby tonight"

hes a riot!

i know its too soon to tell.. but i just dont feel it this cycle.. but ya never know. I ordered 15 HCG test strips and will probably use all of them this cycle..lol EVEN tho i dont think i have a chance!

I love this forum.. it has helped me ALOT... i was part of the "conceptionstore.com" TTC forum back when i was TTC #1.. but i am pretty sure its gone now.. at least i cant find it.

i know this has turned into a buch of ramblings.. but whats a journal for??

If anyone has a request on any information i may possess. just ask.. i am very informed about alot of things... from TTC.. spinal cord injuries, foster care, adoptions.. kids!! animals... pretty much alot of things!!

i know people get curious about "how we have sex"... or "how do i become a foster parent"
please dont be shy.. because i am not...

Banned-Vmarie5 · #8 January 17th, 2009, 10:19 AM

here is sit 6DPO. Still dont have much hope for this cycle. Cycle # 2 TTC #5.

my boobs are so sore i can barely move. Never been this sore before. The veins in my chest are so prominent, but that COULD be because im a bit pale.

i had some major cramps last night, and i was a bit bloated all day yesturday. But that has completely subsided now.

my pre-AF acne came post-O.. about 13 days early..

i have had post nasal drip for quite a while now (3 months+) and recently there has been blood in it. Dont know if thats a sign, but thought i'd put it down just incase.

Ive had an abundance of creamy CM up until today. Its still ccreamy, but there is less of it, and its losing its "whiteness" and turning more clear... if that makes sence.

dont really know, at this point, if ANY of this is relavent... but at least itll be here for future reference!!

<>*NaYoMi_BaBy_Dreamer*<> · #9 January 18th, 2009, 11:49 AM

Quote:

thank you for reading.. and blessings to you and your family too.

there are alot of things left out of my story.. mostly to make it less boring.

But nonetheless, even though i have been "lucky" in the past, this time around TTC has been proven difficult. Even though this is only my second month, i am NOT lucky enough to O around the same time every month, and with DF's disibility and erectile dysfunction, DTD is hard to time. He is only "allowed" to DTD 4 times a month.. and we CANNOT do it 2 days in a row. So its like "hit or miss" here. Hopefully we can get the timing down pat soon, and at least have some hope in the comming months. The past two months i have had no or very little hope because we couldnt time things right due to the ED.

So.. here i sit 4 DPO.. feeling some crampiness... I know its a bit early, but i am kinda considering this 5 DPO because i know i O'd late at night.. and my O day was considered the next day. But anyways... I have been very short tempered today, and easily agitated.

I got a few pimples today, which is odd... i dont usually get those till right b4 AF. Im kind of down in the dumps, and DF is being SOOOO supportive.. He brings be drinks, and snacks when i dont even ask for them.. (he's a keeper)

And he sings me songs all day long.. "would ya could ya aint ya gonna, if i asked ya, would ya wanna be my baby tonight"

hes a riot!

i know its too soon to tell.. but i just dont feel it this cycle.. but ya never know. I ordered 15 HCG test strips and will probably use all of them this cycle..lol EVEN tho i dont think i have a chance!

I love this forum.. it has helped me ALOT... i was part of the "conceptionstore.com" TTC forum back when i was TTC #1.. but i am pretty sure its gone now.. at least i cant find it.

i know this has turned into a buch of ramblings.. but whats a journal for??

If anyone has a request on any information i may possess. just ask.. i am very informed about alot of things... from TTC.. spinal cord injuries, foster care, adoptions.. kids!! animals... pretty much alot of things!!

i know people get curious about "how we have sex"... or "how do i become a foster parent"
please dont be shy.. because i am not...[/b]

JUST WANTED TO SAY YOUR STORY REALLY INSPIRES ME....AND I JUST TOLD GOD THE OTHER DAY THAT I WOULD BECOME A PARENT,FOSTER PARENT AND ADOPTEE PARENT ALL THREE IF HE WANTED...ESPCIALLY AFTER LEARNING THE HARSH REALITIES OF ABORTION...I FOUND MYSELF WATCHING SOMETHING ABOUT THAT ON THE CATHOLIC CHANNEL....IT WAS SAD THE PICTURES I SAW...AND IM AGAINST ABORTION ANYWAY BUT TO SEE WHAT I SAW....LET ME KNOW MY HEART IS IN THE RIGHT PLACE. AND SO IS YOURS!!!

Banned-Vmarie5 · #10 January 19th, 2009, 07:53 AM

yes, i am against abortion too.
there are alot of children out there just wishing for a forever home..

good luck in all you do and keep an open mind, you never know what direction you will end up in!

yes, i am against abortion too.
there are alot of children out there just wishing for a forever home..

good luck in all you do and keep an open mind, you never know what direction you will end up in!

Banned-Vmarie5 · #11 January 20th, 2009, 09:51 AM

today is 9 DPO.. cycle #2

i took an earlypregnancytest.com cheapie dip strip test with FMU and saw a hint of a line, so i dipped another one just to see, and the same thing happened.

waited a few hours and peed on an answer early result, and got a line right away! not the darkest line in the world, but kinda dark considering i am 9 DPO. it is literally 1/2 the color of the control line.

so i ran out and purchased like 10 more tests.. 4 $store tests, 3 FRER, and 2 kmart brand...

took 1 $store test and got a FAAIINNT line.. only the trained eye could see.. and the FRER came back BFP but very light.. as expected with midday pee.

i am going to wait to let DF think he is finding out with me.. and let him be the first to see the test with FMU.. either tomorrow or the next day.

i have had a few chemical pregs b4.. and since i JUST had my IUD out in Nov. i dont want to get my hopes up too much.

but i am THRILLED.. and hope and pray that THIS IS IT!!

thanks for reading girls.. and i hope we all see sticky BFP's soon!