Charity's TTC Journal

charityvanessa · #1 July 15th, 2009, 03:28 PM

I guess this is how I start a journal? Just adding a new topic and updating in the comment section? (Maybe someone can answer that for me)

Anyway, just to get started, I thought I'd give a little background about where I'm coming from and who we are. My husband (age 26) and I (age 24) have been married for four years. 2 months into our marriage we felt like we should try to have a baby. So, I went of BC in the middle of a pack, AF came immediately, then 2 weeks later BFP! WOW! Quick! 9 months later our beautiful son, Ryan, was born!

Fast forward to April 2009. My husband decides that he is ready to start trying again... I have been ready for probably 9 months at this point, so I was ecstatic! We stopped preventing (we weren't using BC, we were using condoms) and then nothing, followed by nothing, followed by nothing. My cycle dragged on and on. I had never paid attention to how long it had been until that month. My period had started April 18th, and so about 15 BFNs later, and 70 something days into my cycle I started charting. I had never done this before, meaning I am a newbie still. I had no pain associated to the lack of menstruation, so I was clueless as to what was going on. I was glad to see about 5 days after I started charting that I ovulated - yay, the end (or the beginning depending on the results) had finally come. 12 days later AF. Bummer.

Anyway, I am having a pretty rough time dealing with the thoughts of the possibility of having another 84 day cycle. I am really hoping it's a fluke thing. Life has been pretty stressful. I am on CD 5 and already going nuts! I am hoping for a normal cycle. Heck, I'd take a 45 day cycle! Just something more normal. I decided to start taking a multi-vitamin to help make sure my body was receiving all the nutrients it needed. The only one on the shelf was Geritol Complete (no, this isn't the one for older ladies. It's for males and females ages 12+). When I was looking online to see if it would work as a prenatal I read that TONS of women have said it regulated them and they got pregnant within a month! Wow. I'm trying it! We'll see how it goes...

So, that's me. Hope this month is it!

<>*NaYoMi_BaBy_Dreamer*<> · #2 July 15th, 2009, 04:04 PM

i hope you get your positive pregnancy tests at the end of this cycle and that your stay with us is short.....what a lot of us do is find your journal on here then keep hitting the reply button each time to start a new jounal entry.

charityvanessa · #3 July 16th, 2009, 06:08 AM

Thanks! I will definitely do my best to keep this updated. Today is CD 6 for me. Spotting finally stopped and I am hoping for a normal cycle this go around. From things I have posted in the regular forums, I keep hearing that I should go ahead and go to the doctor now. I know it might be weird that I am not, but since I know my cycles haven't always been this long, I am hoping it was a fluke. I would hate to go in and spend oodles of money to have blood work and ultrasounds done for something that was completely a result of stress or something like that. Anyway, I hope this makes sense. I am just praying that my cycle straightens itself out!

charityvanessa · #4 July 16th, 2009, 09:45 PM

Okay... I should be in bed, but I'm not. Just messing around on Facebook, my family blog, and here on JM. I am so glad to have found all these women who are TTC just like me. Makes it not seem so lonely.

Time sure seems to stand still when you're TTC... that's FOR SURE! Every day is just dragging on. I can't wait til I see my temps jump for ovulation so I can start looking for symptoms. The tww is awful, but part of me thinks this is worse.

On a side note, I am having a rough time dealing with my sister-in-law being pregnant (they recently just announced). It's not that I'm not happy for them, because I am. It's just that had I gotten pregnant my very first cycle of trying, our due dates would have been EXACTLY the same... so, if it takes me a long time to get a BFP, I will always just be comparing where I could have been to where she is.

Anyway, that's about it for now. Til next time!

charityvanessa · #5 July 18th, 2009, 08:32 PM

Sheesh, I'm tired. It's been a long day.

Today just reverified to me just how much I want to be PG... I saw my preggo SIL and without I doubt, I want that to be me. Sigh... please let it happen soon for us!

On a side note, I have been thinking about my freakishly long cycle. I know that prior to it my cycles were regular. I think they were slightly longer than the average, though only like maybe 35 days long. Anyway, I have been wondering that since I wasn't monitoring my cycles before TTC, if there is anyway I might have had a miscarriage and not known about it and that could have messed with my cycles. I have read that that can do it. Who knows. I don't recall ever having a really heavy cycle, but if I wasn't far along maybe it wouldn't be really heavy?

Anyway, as I have said, if this cycle I am on ends up being like the last I will go in for a visit and maybe they'd have someway of detecting that.

Okay, need to go to sleep. Goodnight.

charityvanessa · #6 July 19th, 2009, 09:58 PM

Hoping to ovulate soon. Not much else to say. It's hard to think about anything else. Come on, baby!

charityvanessa · #7 July 23rd, 2009, 12:53 PM

Okay, so I'm now on cd 13. I am really hoping for an O soon! Come on!!!

I have been making sure to BD at least every other day.

I am wondering how I can convince myself to check my cm. It just freaks me out. Maybe I could get some pointers from you ladies. Do you use a tissue or fingers? In the TCOYF book they say you can use a tissue, but when I have tried just wiping I don't really usually get much. I only see it after a bm, and it's not like I really want to touch it THEN. Anyway, I need pointers. The other day it looked REALLY wet and lotiony on the toilet paper... actually it did that 2 days in a row. Now I haven't really seen any like that. How long does the lotiony phase last? And is the ewcm always right after or can it bounce back? When I saw the cm like it was I got really excited thinking O was right around the corner, but my temp hasn't jumped yet. It was a little lower today though. Anyway, any pointers and help with these questions would be greatly appreciated... maybe I'll post about this in the general forum as well.

There were also a couple times I was wondering if I might have been having O pains, so I am really hoping it's coming... but given my last cycle, I can't imagine it would come so early. I'm hopeful though...

<>*NaYoMi_BaBy_Dreamer*<> · #8 July 23rd, 2009, 04:34 PM

here is some O

i hope you O soon....

charityvanessa · #9 July 24th, 2009, 07:25 PM

Thanks, haha! I need all the O dust I can get!!!

I really think I am already or am about to ovulate. I have been having mild cramps all day and am on CD 14!

If I am, all I can say is HALLELUJAH for ovulating MUCH earlier than CD 72! Yikes, that was crazy. I'm praying for a temp drop tomorrow morning (maybe indicative of being about to O), or a huge jump (meaning I O'd!)... I'll be praying hard tonight!!!

hopeful3853 · #10 July 25th, 2009, 03:20 PM

hi charityvanessa! i really hope you o'd!!

charityvanessa · #11 July 25th, 2009, 04:02 PM

thanks... me too. Though, I don't know. I've been thinking I might have, but then I'm not sure about my cm... maybe I didn't? And, I've been feeling what I thought were ovulation pains, but maybe not? Basically, I have no idea. My temps have started going up, but just for two days, and not above a coverline yet. So, if they go up tomorrow, maybe Fertility Friend will make it official that I ovulated... we'll see!

charityvanessa · #12 July 26th, 2009, 10:22 AM

Okay, today is CD16... and according to my temps, no ovulation yet. I had been hoping it was going to happen today, due to cramps, and a rise in temperature for 2 days, but it didn't go up above my coverline. Infact, this morning it dropped down about .2 degrees... sigh. I also haven't been seeing any CM really to speak of. So, I have no idea what is up. This is so discouraging as when I saw the lotiony cm I thought O was right around the corner. I would say maybe lately that I have been "wet" but no ewcm. I have no idea how long the wet phase lasts though, I am sure it's different for every woman. I'm just hoping and praying to O soon. I'm still taking the Geritol Complete and hoping that will regulate my cycle. I guess since I have a 12 day luteal phase that I still have around a week and a half to "O" and still be in the normal cycle range. And so, I wait. Please pray for me to O soon! Please, please, please!

charityvanessa · #13 July 28th, 2009, 05:05 AM

Yesterday wasn't the best day for me. I don't know why, but I was just so down, and I am feeling down today. Due to my temps, and lack of cm, I just don't know what's going on with my body. I was really thinking I was going to O soon, and maybe I still will, but it's all so hard to deal with.

And then, on Facebook I read my sister in law's status about now being in her second trimester and that made it worse. Had I gotten pregnant first try we would of haved the same due date. And so, I watch her as a marker for where I wish I was. Not to mention she has done something really hurtful to me, which makes it totally unfair that it's her instead of me. I would never do something like that to anyone.

How is it that some people get everything they want, and others of us seem to get all the bad luck?

charityvanessa · #14 July 28th, 2009, 05:49 PM

Well, I'm doing a little better. And, seriously, it's only a little better. I am really struggling with what is going on with my body. I got the guts up to check my cervix, though I have no idea really what I'm looking for. I think I felt something pretty firm in there, which is upsetting because I thought I had ewcm the other day. My temp went up today a little, but it's still not higher than my other temps. I am hoping it will keep going up.

Before my crazy cycle, I am pretty sure my cycles were "long" as in probably around 35 days. So, given that I have a 12ish day LP, I guess I wouldn't O until a CD in the early 20s.... but who knows.

I have also started taking Red Raspberry Leaf Tea, which is supposed to help regulate cycles. It's disgusting to me, but then again I can't stand the smell of any tea. But, I'm desperate for a "normal" cycle this go around.

hopeful3853 · #15 July 28th, 2009, 09:49 PM

hang in there charityvanessa! i'm going to cheer your body on to 'o' already! (((hugs)))

charityvanessa · #16 July 29th, 2009, 03:43 PM

Still no ovulation......... waiting ever so patiently. I am considering getting a fertility monitor so I can know for sure when it comes. That way I don't keep having to bd all the time just in case! It's gotta be coming... I just know it!

<>*NaYoMi_BaBy_Dreamer*<> · #17 July 29th, 2009, 04:23 PM

here is some O

hope you get your aug

charityvanessa · #18 July 30th, 2009, 08:29 PM

Day 20. Seems like just yesterday I was on Day 1. Wow.

Nothing new. No ovulation yet. I am trying not to freak out, but it's hard. There are plenty of "normal" cycles that are 35 even 45 days long, so I still have time. If I were to O tomorrow my cycle would be at most 33 days long, which I can handle. Another 84 day cycle, no. I need some major O dust blown my way, that's for sure. I'm going to be saying a long, heartfelt prayer to the Lord tonight. I'm not praying to become pregnant, that's all in His hands, I am just praying for a normal cycle. For my body to be okay. It can happen, it has to.

On another note, today at work we ordered Chinese take-out for lunch. Here's what my fortune cookie said, "The current year will bring you much happiness". How perfect! While I understand it's just a silly cookie, I sure hope the cookie is right!

<>*NaYoMi_BaBy_Dreamer*<> · #19 July 31st, 2009, 10:07 AM

here is some o

i hope you O soon.....cute signature!!!! and i love chinese food...hope your fortune comes true....i had a good fortune myself last week......i forget what it said something about love of life will bring happiness........

charityvanessa · #20 July 31st, 2009, 06:40 PM

Thanks so much!!

I am really thinking I'm close to ovulating. I am trying to convince my hubby that I should get a fertility monitor... at least one of the cheap ones, but I haven't been able to get him on board. It might ease my mind a bit. But, anyway, given my cm, cramps, etc, I'm pretty sure it's right around the corner!

Plus, my temps have dropped the last 3 days. It's almost at my lowest temp this cycle. This could be a good sign for me for being about to ovulate! Yay! Here's hoping for a jump tomorrow to about 97 degrees! That might mark me as a + for ovulating!!!

Come on 97 degrees! LOL!