Planningforbaby's ttc journal

planningforbaby · #1 October 22nd, 2009, 05:17 PM

I've been reading through several of these journals this week and decided to start my own.

I'm 28 years old, married for over 3 years and finally settling down. I'm a resident physician in my second year (will be a fully licensed physician in internal medicine in July 2010) and I have baby fever. My dh and i started ttc this month. My insurance is great and I get paid maternity leave if I have a baby before 3/2010, so that's where we are. Unfortunately I work 80 hours a week and often work more than 30 hour shifts consecutively without sleep. I'm always tired and stressed, so I'm not sure how easy this pregnancy will be, but no time is the perfect time, and I really want this.

So now, I sit in my 2ww. My first 2ww. Af is due 10/28. I'm so nervous. I'm excited for the chance of a bfp, but I'm scared as well.

JessMitch · #2 October 23rd, 2009, 05:43 AM

Good luck! I hope you see that BFP in a few days!!!

planningforbaby · #3 October 23rd, 2009, 03:16 PM

Thanks. It's nice to hear encouraging words. I doubt I'm pregnany. I feel like I'm PMSing. We'll see.

Im.Nayomi · #4 October 23rd, 2009, 09:01 PM

I really hope you get your

this cycle.

planningforbaby · #5 October 26th, 2009, 06:24 AM

So, I could probably test today. I bought HPTs yesterday. I'm just staring at them wondering if I want to know yet.

My dh and I had a long discussion yesterday. He's got baby fever, but he's got it into his head that we won't be able to have kids. He expressed that he was concerned that he would disappoint me if it took us a while to get a BFP. I didn't even know how to respond. My dh is special, that's for darn sure.

I'm dpo 12-14 today. I'm not exactly sure when I ovulated. I'm still pretty new at this ting. But, eitherway, testing today would give me an answer. I'm afraid I'll test positive and end up with a chemical pregnancy, so I'll probably wait.

JessMitch · #6 October 26th, 2009, 07:58 AM

Hey it never hurts to wait until AF is late! Then you don't have to go through numerous BFN's wondering if it's just too early to tell. plus if you wait you'll money on tests!! when is AF due??

whoops! you'll SAVE money on tests lol

planningforbaby · #7 October 27th, 2009, 05:17 PM

AF is due tomorrow...
I really don't know what to think about my cycle. I feel really different than usual. I'm peeing more often, I have right lower abdominal twinges, and I'm craving chocolate... or this could be that I'm PMSing (esp the chocolate!)

I'm anxious to test. I want to know, but at the same time, a large part of me wants to believed I'm pregnant for a couple more days beforemy hopes are dashed with a BFN.

JessMitch · #8 October 27th, 2009, 06:37 PM

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you! Test when you are ready to test! I def know the feeling of not wanting to get that BFN but then again it's sooo hard not to test! It's like i'm addicted to peeing on a stick! Well you'll prob want to test with your first urine of the day so maybe wait and see if AF shows tomorrow and then test on Thursday? Just a suggestion... but i def understand how it's nice to keep your hopes going a little by not testing.

planningforbaby · #9 October 30th, 2009, 05:04 AM

So, I'm late. I was due on 10/28 so I tested that night with a BFN. AF still hasn't shown, but I don't know when I want to test again. It's so disheartening to get a negative. I wish I'd either get a BFP or AF would show! I'm usually so regular. ugh.

planningforbaby · #10 November 1st, 2009, 05:28 AM

I'm still late. I'm going crazy. No sign of AF. I tested again on 10/30 and got another BFN. I wish I knew what was going on with me!!! I'm now CD #33 out of usually 28. I'm afraid to test again.

hopeful3853 · #11 November 1st, 2009, 09:19 AM

hi! ooh, i hope your pregnant!! keeping my fingers crossed for you!

Birdieluv · #12 November 1st, 2009, 06:08 PM

I am new to the group. I read your story. Have you tested again or got AF?

planningforbaby · #13 November 2nd, 2009, 06:17 AM

AF started about 10 minutes ago.
It's okay though I guess. I'd rather have AF show than keep having BFNs without AF. Maybe this TTC stuff is stressing me out so much my cycles are being thrown off.

It's on to Cycle #2.

SarieP · #14 November 2nd, 2009, 08:29 AM

Don't worry! That's how I felt! I would much rather see AF then to not and keep getting BFN's and not know! My first cycle off BCP was 5o days and I eventually stopped taking HPT's because I couldn't stand seeing a BFN anymore. We are both in cycle 2 so good luck to us both!

planningforbaby · #15 December 13th, 2009, 12:55 PM

My husband and I have been stressed in the process of TTC. When it didn't happen for us in cycle #1 I decided I couldn't live the next period of my life obsessing over getting pregnant when it might not happen for a while. Cycle #2 has come and gone and I've never been so upset to see AF. She came exactly on time on CD 28. What's is sad is that I wasn't even expecting her. I was preparing myself to be late again so I wouldn't be encouraged by AF being late.

So now I'm in cycle #3. CD 14 today. Should be ovulating today or tomorrow. I'm starting to stress and realized I needed to find a balance between spending all of my time on this board/researching pregnancy and trying to avoid this. I need this kind of support, especially if this is going to be a long road (which it might be).
What's the most frustrating to me I think is that my sister has a new baby. I love having an infant around, but she has had 3 unplanned pregnancies and I'm struggling in trying to get pregnant for #1. I'm struggling in being an excited aunt, and wishing that my life were a little different.
My husband's best friend just got his causal partner pregnant. They decided to elope and "cope". Why is getting pregnant coping for some people and a plea for others? I'm at a bad place right now. Thanks for understanding. I know people on this board will understand in a way by friends and family don't because I feel like none of them have ever had to try.

hopeful3853 · #16 December 13th, 2009, 08:20 PM

planningforbaby, i totally understand how you feel. hang in there - i am with you trying to not think too much about it and yet thinking about it all the time and having to face everyone around you getting pregnant.

planningforbaby · #17 January 28th, 2010, 01:01 PM

So I'm sitting here trying not to cry. AF started again today. Cycle #4 is a bust. On to cycle 5.

planningforbaby · #18 January 28th, 2010, 01:10 PM

I'm trying to be analytical.

Cycle #1 35 days
Cycle #2 28 days
Cycle #3 32 days
Cycle #4 28 days

I haven't been using OPK's. Maybe it's time I start,but my cycles have been pretty regular I didn't think it would help much. *sigh* I'm so frustrated.

Im.Nayomi · #19 January 28th, 2010, 03:02 PM

welcome back. Im Nayomi(Naomi) by the way. Hoping for your a

do you use Ovulation Calendar and Ovulation Chart - Fertility Charting ? do you temp?

planningforbaby · #20 January 30th, 2010, 08:09 PM

I'm starting to temp this cycle for the first time. AF stopped today, so today is the first time I used my BBT. I'm trying to learn exactly what I'm doing, but it's a little confusing for me. I'm not sure how useful it will be for me because I cycle back and forth between working days and nights so my sleeping schedule is not close to normal. I know that it takes fairly close precision in timing for temps to work, so this is a shot in the dark for me. Here's hoping.