Hollys TTC Journey

hollann1984 · #1 July 28th, 2010, 06:14 PM

I figured it was about time to start a journal of whats going on with our TTC journey. I would love to do a blog but since not that many people IRL know about us ttc i decided not to. Its a little long but i appriciate you all reading it

DH( Mike) and I have been TTC since September of 2009, so almost a year. DH is a Type 1 Diabetic so I was always worried that this might effect our ability to get pregnant. I also assumed that it would be easy to get pregnant and didnt know about all the stats and such till I found JM.

I found JM right when we started TTC and joined the TTC board to gather as much information as possible, a board i proudly co- host currently

After hearing everything about TTC and how little of a chance you have i started to panic. After coming off BC i had major cramps all the time. I figured it had something to do with coming off of the BC but by Cycle 4 without any BFP and the cramps all the time continuing, i decided to see the doctor. They did a U/S but found nothing. My doctor at the time gave me no reason as to why this might have been happening and sent me on my way. Needless to say i changed doctors.

Cycle #5 we finally got our BFP! I was so excited i couldnt contain myself. About a week and a half later i started spotting on a friday night and by later that night i was full on bleeding. I was crushed beyond words. I finally had what i wanted and lost it right away.

As a background I have had on and off depression issues since I was about 21 when my best friend died suddenly. The M/C brought it all back and i had some major difficulties. I try to not let on or bring it to the boards because people have enough to worry about with ttc and struggles with that. I tend to keep that type of emotion inside, but it is a big part of me so i thought you should know.
My depression is being treated currently so that im healthy when we finally have our little one.

The next few cycles nothing was going on. I had one cycle without ovulation and that was frustrating. I did a few cycles of Clomid as well.

Cycle #10 brought another BFP! Once again we were so excited but extremly cautious knowing what might happen. Once again it was about a week and a half later that i started spotting. I had been getting blood work and it wasnt progressing like it should, so when the doctor called and said that I had lost the pregnancy I knew it was coming.
Thankfully he refered me to a RE for which i go see in a little over 2 weeks. Hopefully they are able to help us figure out what is going on as i am no longer confident that i will be able to get and stay pregnant on my own.

I hope that we are finally able to have a little one of our own. DH and i say we will attempt everything possible and if that doesnt work then we will move on to adoption( which i would love to do someday anyway).

JM has been my saving grace and hosting the TTC board gives me an outlet and a purpose and i greatly appriciate JM letting me be a part of everyones journey.
Thank you for reading my TTC journey. Ill be sure to post updates wtih my next appointment.

Im.Nayomi · #2 July 28th, 2010, 11:11 PM

wow your story really touches my heart...I know what it feels to lose 2 pregnancies very early on..... I pray your 3rd pregnancy will be your very sticky one.

hollann1984 · #3 July 29th, 2010, 04:29 AM

Thank you very much!

julianna · #4 July 29th, 2010, 07:27 AM

BEst of Luck to you!

hollann1984 · #5 August 2nd, 2010, 07:23 PM

So we just got back from vacation and i did a ton of thinking while i was gone. When i had the last M/C about 2 weeks ago i was so sure that i wanted to skip this month. I didnt want to go through this again without being under the care of a RE. DH and i are also in a wedding next april which would be the due date if we got pg this cycle. I decided that this has almost been going on for 1 year now( TTC), and 2 losses and i dont want to waste any time. I think we are going to just bd like usual and if it happens it happens.

*Mrs.ToyaJae* · #6 August 2nd, 2010, 07:27 PM

Holly it crushed me when I heard about the loss...but hopefully the RE will tell you whats goin on...keep the faith girl!

Im.Nayomi · #7 August 2nd, 2010, 08:44 PM

Here is some

swtneka · #8 August 9th, 2010, 08:15 PM

I just read your journy and so sorry for your losses i truely understand the getting preg and then have it end in a few days.... i hope all goes well with your RE appt next week.... KMP