[mommy_to_nico]

My Name is Tareena, My hubby & i are in our 2nd mth ttc. Things had been stressful. 8 mths ago i was diagnosed with lyme diease. i developed arthritis from lyme, the emotional& physical illness was horrible. I am cured now, got a negative result back . We started trying in Oct i got a BFN It was hard. i wanted to give up and go back on my meds again b/c i was over whelmed with my parents deciding to move etc. . I have Bipolar & Aniexty, i'm doing well, this is the best yr for me mentally wise, my family & friends, as well as my counslor & doc are proud of me the challenges are rough. My son& hubby get me through it. As well as having emotional support from family friends, doctors, counslors.

My parents are moving to FL ( its very hard for me, b/c i will miss them so much, i'm spending as much time as i have with them) my hubby felt pressured b/c i was so excited we were trying. I got really antsy and was like i'm ovulating and i didn't mean to. I thought he'd be excited as well. the pressure to preform made it like a job and we both lost interest in intimacy. our intimacy has been less now and thats not good.

I promised him this month would be different. I had a change of heart and decided it was best for me to stay off meds and we mutually agreed we can handle this together. So here we are on ttc month 2 and I'm 9 days away from ovulating. Then the 2 week wait omg..I'm nervous about it. But i've set a routine. I've got to pack b/c we are moving in jan. Listening to music, reading, writing in my journal, I go to counseling, which helps alot. cleaning the house, this will get my mind off things and i'll be able to make it through and of course my support groups, i'm so lucky to have.

Hubby said that we'll just try when we are in the mood. I'm worried we wont be trying when i'm ovulating, but then i read theres always the 3-5 days before you ovulate some of the workers can stay and i'll still have chances of concieving. which is great b/c we want a girl. i don't want to pressure him. I love him very much. I hate that i didn't concieve in oct. There wasn't much of a chance, we tried and then took a break b/c my hubby got uncomfortable. We use condoms during my period b/c he feels uncomfortable. I agree, we don't do anything during the first 3 days. i have really bad cramps & i bleed alot. This months period was HORRIBLE!! I went through 3 pads. I normally go through 1-2 pads a day. I hope this month i get pregnant if not we have plenty of time. I can deal with it. it's not the end of the world. Nico is ecited to be a big brother & my hubby is thinking about our baby. We are going to get a t-shirt or onsie that has SBU our favorite unversity sport teams. We love volleyball, football, lacrosse. We really want this and i know everything will work out in time.

~babydust to all~