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I was 19 when I had my first miscarriage. I had gotten pregnant from a fling with a friend. The pregnancy itself was terrifying as I didn't want to get kicked out of my parent's home. A mutual friend drove with me(illegally as I had no license)to get a test at a religious center in the city. Not two weeks even after I found out that I was@the friend's house and I started spotting. I freaked out a bit and he had to drive me to my house. I called my mom crying hysterically and she took both me and my friend to the hospital. That was the 1st time I had ever been given an internal u/s and needless to say the baby was gone@about six weeks gestation. I was so grateful for my friend to be there for me in my time of need. I actually got pregnant with my DD about 4 months after and thankfully was able to carry her, not to term but carry her far enough.
My second miscarriage happened when DD was about 1.5 years old. DH and I were NTNP and ended up pregnant. I was working more or less full time at the time and was@work when I started feeling faint. I told my supervisor I was taking my 15 and up the escalator I went but sadly halfway up I had to sit down before making it to the top. I sluggishly walked all the way down to the hallway and proceeded to fall on my face, my badge and walkie-talkie flying. Thankfully another worker saw this happen and helped me to the restroom. It was then that I realized I was gushing blood. I was about 16 weeks along at this point. I went to the ER only to have unsympathetic PAs tell me "oh see you have nothing there it's just debris and the fetus expired at about 8 weeks." I was of course in hysterics mentally but didn't let that show to them because I figured it was just part of their jobs and they didn't know me so I couldn't be a witch and take it personal. I did however go into screaming hysterics as soon as DH showed up to get me from the hospital--approximately 7 hours later---not his fault just the way ER often works. I called work and was met with nothing but attitude. I stayed out of work for a day or two but that was all. I went back and got asked daily from the head person if "my thing was over with." Needless to say I didn't start passing tissue until a month later and during that month I was a wreck. I never did need a D&C and for that I'm thankful. It took DH a long time to even want to TTC but eventually we did and have DS.
I know I've had a few chemical pregnancies aside from the two medically known miscarriages because well once you've had at least one more than likely you do know the symptoms of another. I did tie my tubes in 2004 and I do regret it but I also know that I could not suffer another loss. I am hoping one day to adopt.
Angel #1 - Was in my belly for almost 10 weeks. In my heart forever. We found out we were expecting only 4 months after we got married. We were thrilled & elated. Miscarriage was never a thought or option for us. We bought maternity clothes for me and people gave us unisex onesies for the baby. I spent the sumemr months esctatic about becoming a mother.
School began around Aug 8th that year. It was teacher work week. I remember waking up on the 3rd or so day of that work week and saw some blood. Naturally I panicked, but went into work anyway. The blood flow increased and became heavy so I called my OB and they told me that everything was likely fine, but to come in.
I can remember as clear as if it were yesterday what I was wearing that day. A blue summery sweater and a black skirt. I ran home and waited for husband to come home quickly from work. We drove in silence together to the OB.
When we were seen we were taken quickly for an ultrasound. I remember all to well laying there on the table... so very vulnerable, tears streaking down my face, legs in stirrups. Hubby was at the foot of the table, feeling helpless. All he could do was franticly rub my feet and ankles. We heard the technician say "I have to go get the doctor." We knew what that meant. My tears increased more rapidly.
I have blocked out what happened next, but I do remember getting dressed and scheduling my D&C for the next morning. That night was awful, I think I ate nothing and slept through most of it.
The next morning we went to the office and waited for our turn to be called for the D&C. It was very difficult being in a room with happy pregnant ladies. It wasn't their fault, I told myself. But it still hurt.
When my name was called I walked to the door with my husband's hand in mine.
"Oh... he can't come back here..." the nurse said.
That was the first time I saw my husband tear up. We hugged tightly and I walked back and had my first D&C.
Angel #2 - I got pregnant immediatly after the D&C. I did not even have a regular period after the D&C. In my heart I knew the pregnancy wasn't viable. I told very few people this time around. We went for an ultrasound and the technician saw nothing inside me.
We had a D&C the very next day as well. I remember vividly from this one vomiting after the D&C as my husband walked me to our car to take me home.
Lots of tears and pain. Thank you for letting me share our story.
Many thanks to Mom2*Lauryn*Jacob* for my beautiful siggy.
I thought I'd done my story, but apparently not. I'll offer it up in the hopes that it can bring some hope to someone else. Warning, there's a birth story included!
DH and I were married July 10, 2004 after 5 years of dating. We decided to start fairly soon after the wedding, so I went off of my birth control in April '05. I got pregnant the first month and was ecstatic. About a week after I found out, I had my urine test at the doctors office and was told that it did show a pregnancy but that the test was really faint. I had started spotting that day and they thought maybe the blood was interfering with the test. The next day I started bleeding heavily and experienced the worst cramps I'd ever felt. I knew in my heart I was losing my first baby. A pregnancy test a few days later confirmed what my heart already knew. A few days after this, my DH left for Army Basic Training and I found myself both grieving for the loss of my baby and my husband, as he was gone for 5 months.
Once he returned, we decided to start trying again right away. After a few months of no pregnancy, I started temping and charting. I'd always had irregular periods and figured I could get a handle on my cycles at the very least. It took 5 months to conceive, what felt like a very long 5 months at the time, especially since I had conceived so quickly the first time. This was a very hard pregnancy on me. I was so, so, so sick, which was ok with me because it reassured me that there was indeed a baby in my belly and all would be fine. I bled quite a bit throughout this pregnancy and spent a lot of time in the ER. With every blood draw and U/S though, things were fine. I was told I'd probably just be one of those women who bled through pregnancy. My sickness eased up at about 13 weeks, but I was still throwing up occasionally. I started to feel movement at about 14 weeks and had finally started feeling safe in this pregnancy. At a routine 16 week check up the doctor was unable to find a heartbeat with the Doppler, so to check everything out I was taken back for a quick u/s. It was apparent right away that there was no heartbeat. For reasons completely unknown, we had lost our second baby. I was informed that I would have to come in the next day to be induced. At that stage of pregnancy they felt it would be better for my body to have the baby naturally as opposed to a D&C, especially with my prior loss.
I was admitted to the hospital at 11am on May 25, 2006 and started on Cervadil. (A pill that is inserted in the cervix to ripen and dialate.) After several hours my water unexpectedly broke (I was not expecting this at all) and my contractions kicked up to a quite uncomfortable level. After 5 hours of labor in all, I was finally 6cm dialated and was told that I could start to push. After 4 teensy tiny pushes my sweet Sophie Lucille was born sleeping. I was terrified to look at her, to hold her. I knew that she would be tiny and that she wouldn't look like what you would expect a baby to look like. I was afraid that she would be scary and that the image of her, like that, would be burned into my mind and that's all I'd think of when I thought of her. Finally, after much prodding from my husband, my sweet little girl was laid in my arms. She was beautiful and perfect in her tiny little way. She stayed with us for an hour and then we had to say goodbye. We chose to have her autopsied in the hope that we could get a better idea of what went wrong but no answers were ever forthcoming.
We grieved over her for a solid year. My heart will always grieve for her, of course, but the pain has lessened and I can think back on that time with the bittersweet feelings that always accompany loss. 3 months after we had her, we were given the ok to try again. We got pregnant as soon as I was off of my birth control and had a chemical pregnancy, my 3rd loss in a year and a half. After that, I decided that I was done. My DH deployed to Iraq in Jan '05 and was gone for 15 months. When he came home he was ready to try again, but my heart just wasn't in it. I convinced him to wait at least 3 months. I needed that time just to be with him and not be wrapped up in the trauma that was my pregnancies. In June '07 I went off of my BC yet again. I decided that I wasn't going to actively try and conceive, but that if it happened, I wouldn't try and stop it. I immediately (like within a week or 2) got pregnant for the 4th time.
I called my RE who put me on baby asprin and progesterone as a last ditch effort. I had my first U/S at about 3 weeks where we could see the tiny little sac. I was brought in again at 5 weeks. Still no heartbeat, though there had been growth. Went in again at 6 weeks and saw a tiny, perfect little heart beating happily away. I had many more ultrasounds throughout the next several weeks, just to check on the baby's growth and make sure we still had a happy beating heart. At 16 weeks I had yet another u/s, and it was then that we were told that we were pregnant with another little girl. In my heart it felt like I was getting one last chance to do it right.
I was terrified through most of my pregnancy. I had no spotting, no crazy symptoms other than morning sickness through my first trimester. At 20 weeks we confirmed yet again that we had a little girl and I felt a teensy amount of hope floating around amidst all of the terror. With every big step I took I found myself thinking how I'd feel now if I lost the baby. When I registered I thought how awful it would be to know I had a whole baby registry out there if I lost the baby. When I finally got brave enough to buy the furniture and set up the crib I thought "now if I lose the baby, I'll have a whole room to come home to and take apart." Every thought I had revolved around the ultimate loss of my baby girl. My head could not accept that I might, just might, have a healthy baby. I couldn't allow my heart to think it might be ok. I was fully prepared to lose her at anytime. But God how I loved that baby. I had never wanted anything more in my life, ever.
At 28 weeks my BP started going up just enough to worry me. The doctors weren't concerned so I took it easy and prayed. At my 32 week check up it had gone up even more. Still I wasn't taken seriously. At 34 weeks I felt like I was leaking fluid and that I was contracting more than I should be at that stage. I went into L&D where I was monitored and found that I was having pretty strong contractions every 5 minutes or so. They tested my fluid to see if it was indeed amniotic fluid and the tests were inconclusive. I was admitted, and the doctors performed a carmine indigo amnio on me. This is where they insert a needle into a pocket of fluid in the uterus and inject a blue dye. They then insert a tampon vaginally (obviously, lol.) The theory is that if you are leaking fluid, the fluid that is now blue will end up on the tampon. After 4 hours of monitoring the tampon was clear, so it was determined that my water hadn't broke. I was told, however, that if she did come anytime soon that she should be smurf blue, and that if my water broke it too would be bright blue so there'd be no way to miss it. Since this particular hospital doesn't stop labor after 34 weeks, I was sent home with a 24 hour urinalysis (my BP was starting to get dangerously high) and told to come back if my contractions were 3 minutes apart or closer for 30 minutes. This was a Monday. I went back in Tuesday and was still at 1cm and 75% effaced, the same as the day before. Thursday night as I was going to the bathroom I felt a huge gush. I looked, no blue. Can't be my water then, right? My contractions picked up big time and would be 2-3 minutes apart for 20 minutes, and then would back off to 5 minutes for a while, then back up to 2-3. Since I they weren't staying that close for 30 minutes, I decided to stay home and ride the night out here. The next day I drove myself to the hospital to deliver my urine culture, thinking as I was doing so "I should so not be driving." I met my husband for lunch and couldn't even sit on the chair as I was feeling so much pressure. I figured that being 34 weeks pregnant just sucked and everyone had lied to me. We went grocery shopping, and as we were checking out I felt fluid dripping down my leg. I wen to the bathroom and was SOAKED, but it was clear. Went home, had another huge gush of fluid and this time there was blood mixed into the still clear fluid, and by this time I was in serious pain. I told my husband that we needed to get to the hospital NOW. Again, I was fully convinced I was losing her, that something was terribly wrong. About 10 minutes from the hospital I started feeling the urge to push, and now I'm panicking. We make it to the hospital where I inform DH that I can not walk and he runs in to get my a wheelchair. After finally getting up to triage a nurse gets in my face and tells me I need to calm down, if I can't handle being 34 weeks pregnant how am I ever going to handle "real" labor. The doctor comes in, checks me, and says "I can feel a head full of hair! You're 8 1/2 cms and 100% effaced, we're about to have this baby." I cried. Nothing was wrong, she was just very determined to make her way into this world. At this point it was way too late to get an epi as I was dilating quickly. I was hooked up to monitors, asked a million questions, and 45 minutes later I was ready to push. After an intense (and awesome) 12 minutes of pushing, Miss Grace Lorraine made her appearance, weighing in at 5lbs 7oz and 18 3/4 inches long. All I could say was "finally." After almost 4 years of waiting, worrying, crying, fretting, etc my sweet angel had arrived. She spent a week in the NICU due to some dumb nurse sticking the repogle through her little throat.
She is my whole world and the true embodiment of the term "worth the wait." I never believed I'd have her, I was 100% sure I could never have a baby. So I'm here to tell you that you can be 100% sure, and still be wrong. I was, indeed, saved by Grace.
*Thank you so much to Jaidynsmum for my beautiful siggy!*
Sophie Lucille: In my life for a moment, in my heart for a lifetime. May 25th, 2006 at 16 weeks.
During the last year I`ve for some unknown reason developed RPL. I have two beautiful children born in 2004 and 2007, and DH and I decided in June 2009 to go for a third even though I`ve had hyperemesis gravidarum in my former pregnancies (which is a terrible thing, but with the perfect reward).
Well, November 2009 I got my BFP. By December I got admitted to hospital due to dehydration, and I got to see a perfect peanut on u/s, still only 7w1 though I expected at least 8w1. I wasn`t too worried as they told me everything else was looking good and we were just trying to cope as a family through my vomiting...
In January, 14w0, during my 5-year old daugther`s birthday party, my waters broke with heavy bleeding and cramping, and I knew everything was lost. We were both devastated, still it was even a greater shock when the u/s showed a dead emryo measuring only 8w3d. The heart hadn`t been beating for several weeks, through Christmas and me knitting baby clothes and puking, hope was already lost.
They tried Cytotec, but it had no effect at all, so I had a D/C.
We decided to go for it. All the time being sick just for nothing made us want this no3 even more. The children also wept over the baby that all of a sudden died and was gone.
BFP March 19th. Happy, so happy. The happiness changed to worry as I didn´t get sick at all, and at 8w1 I got an u/s showing an embryo measuring 7w1 with a stong HB. The ob told us everything would be fine this time, two times in a row couldn`t be possible as we already had two children. Well, I guess he was pretty wrong. Two weeks later the embryos heart had already stopped a week ago, 8w1. Of course the Cytotec didn`t work and I had a second D/C.
Everyone told us we would succeed the next time, so we tried to stay positive and went on.
BFP July 30th.
The first u/s at 7+2 showed an embryo measuring 5w5 and I was terribly worried. Still the ob told me the HB was strong and the yolk sac was big and beautiful, all signs of a viable pregnancy. I had a follow up after 1 week and after 2 weeks and the embryo was growing the way it should and the heart was beating pretty.
Still, u/s 10w5 there was no HB.
It had stopped 8w6.
New D&C, and even another one after two weeks b/c they didn`t to it right the first time.
Three times my babies have died in the 9th week. I am healthy and have had bloodtests done, showing everything is normal. We are now waiting for our appointment for further investigations in Feb`10.
Of course we are so grateful to have our lovely two children. Still it is hard to let go of the dream of having a third and the losses have been devastating every time. It is hard to come to terms with us having this problem and we don`t really know how to cope and what to do down the road.
I really do wish all the best for all of you in here. Now I`ll read the happy stories.
Here is my story, I'm finally ready to tell it entirely. DH is my high-school sweetheart, we met at 17 and married at 20, our 3d anniversary is coming up.
At first we had decided to wait awhile for children, but in August of 08 I started having pregnancy symptoms, but my period wasn't due yet. Being impatient, I took a test, and to this day I don't know if the line I saw was real or if it was an evap or a figment of my imagination. I never was late. I don't even really count it as a miscarriage, but it made me realize I wanted a baby and soon.
In May of 09, DH agreed that we could go off the pill and NTNP, since I was graduating college in June.
In August of 09, my period was very late (45 day cycle!) but I wasn't pregnant. I even got bloodwork to be sure. At that point I realized that I would need to start charting to know if I was even ovulating.
I was later diagnosed with PCOS after a few ultrasounds and doctor visits (I was complaining of pelvic pain, I had an ovarian cyst that resolved on its own in October 09, independant of my PCOS)
Christmas 09, same scenario as the August 08 : I felt pregnant, I had a few symptoms, and I had a very faint second line on a test, but my period showed. I don't count this as a miscarriage either, because the line never was dark enough to be sure it even had color. And emotionally, both of those "evaps" hurt, but not nearly as much as my miscarriages. But they are still a part of my story.
March 1st 2010, I take a pregnancy test, another very faint line. The next day however, the line couldn't be clearer, I'm pregnant! I have all of the symptoms and I get really excited! First time I have two clear, pink lines.
March 5 2010 : I start bleeding, and I get bloodwork, my hcg is already under 5.
May 12 2010, I'm having a cycle with no clear ovulation pattern and am expecting my period any day. I'm actually late and my temps are high, so I test just to be sure.... a clear positive! I'm really excited, everyone has told me it rarely happens twice in a row. We start talking about names and then, on May 15 2010, I'm bleeding again. I do a home test which turns up negative.
At this point we decide to get testing done and my doctor agrees, that even though very early losses are common, it can't hurt to run a few basic tests and to refer me to an RE to get a better quality of ovulation since my cycles are weird.
I find out that I have 1:640 ANAs but everything else looks normal, I'm told that it may still be nothing but that I should take baby aspirin and a very low dose of prednisone and progesterone, just in case, that it can't hurt. My RE says that if I'm not pregnant on my own by September, we'll do an injectibles + IUI cycle (DH has low motility and the postcoital test was abysmally bad, there were NONE left)
A mere 3 weeks later, I'm pregnant again! This time I'm taking meds and I'm very afraid, but everything is progressing well. My hormone levels are up, and increasing, and after a few weeks my test lines appear even before the control lines do!
First ultrasound at 6w4d : the tech says that I'm supposed to be 8 weeks, but I'm measuring at 5. I say, well, I ovulated late, but he says "not that late" and gives me no hope. I'm convinced it's over, but decide to wait a week and get another ultrasound to be sure.
Second ultrasound at 7w2d : our baby has a heartbeat and is measuring at 6w4d! We are incredibly relieved and so happy! Our baby has a heartbeat!
9w2d... We finally dare to DTD for the first time since my BFP, and I have a few drops of brown blood. I dismiss it.
9w3d... I call my doctor because I had a few red drops of blood. She says to go to the ER just in case, with my history. I go in after work (I wasn't too worried, I mostly thought I might need bedrest but that the baby would be fine)
I'm told that my cervix is closed and that there is no blood and that I'm showing no signs of infection, that everything is probably ok. But I'm given an ultrasound just to make sure. The doctor says she can't see much on the portable machine, so we go downstairs and use the TVU with a big screen. I lay there for 10 minutes staring at the screen, waiting for her to zoom in and let me hear the heartbeat, I don't understand why I don't see it. I was in complete disbelief when she said that there was none, that my baby had died measuring 7w2d, a mere 5 days after everything looked great.
M/C #1 ~ I was 5wks when it happened passed naturally.
Missed M/C#1- M/C#2~ I went in for a first ultrasound at 10wks, dr measured baby at 6wk range somehow, 1 wk later at 11wks i started bleeding went to the ER they measured baby in the 8wk range, I ended up passing the baby at what would had been 13wks along naturally at home, they did some testing just made sure it was passed intact which it was the microscopic testing they did showed nothing abnormal at all.
Missed M/C #2- M/C #3~ I went in for my first ultrasound at 7wk 3days and was told the baby measured 6wks, a week later i went for a follow up and was told there was a empty sac yet my beta # had risen since the week before. I then set up another follow up for 11/11. Oh yeah i was on 100mg progesterone and had been bleeding since i started taking it. 11/9 i started cramping and bleeding and passing huge clots and tissue, collected the tissue, went to the ER. In the ER i made sure to ask for chromosomal testing to be done on the tissue, well they accidentally put in it formalin as protocol when it should had been put in saline. I was told the pathology lab might still be able to salvage some tissue from it dispite that screw up. 11/11 i went to my appointment that the ER told me to keep and go to... well i found out there is still tissue there failed to tell me this. The dr measured the tissue to be 6wk1day and said she wasn't sure what the tissue was that i gave to the ER. It gets better thankfully the beta is dropping but she gave me a script to Cytotec. I will be taking it tonight and then tomorrow. She was kinda rude in saying she didn't think that if i save the tissue that they will be able to do any testing on it, i kinda doubt that it's still tissue. I should be around 10wks along.
Edited to add today 11/14 at what would have been 10wks i'm 100% i passed the the tissue that the ultrasound showed was still there, my bleeding was down to like nothing, no cramping at all when i passed it either. I don't think the Cytotec had anything to do with me passing the tissue today.
I have is in a zip lock bag with some water, and plan on calling the appointment line at 7am tomorrow ( we have Kaiser) and trying to get a appointment with the Dr the ER told me i could follow up with since we arent fully moved out of this area yet, i plan on having them do testing on the tissue. I want answers this is my 2nd missed miscarriage and this baby took 3 years to get pregnant with.
I have also had a few chemical pregnanies between but none got far enough to confirm by a dr.
My Rainbow Baby
Last edited by SoCaliMommy; November 14th, 2010 at 09:15 PM.
Since I have become more active around here, I figured I should share my story.
I got married the first time in July of 97. My now ex- was 14 years my senior. He had always claimed to be infertile- but was never tested. I was holding out the secret hope that he was just wrong or that we would end up adopting.
Over the next couple of years the baby fever for me grew. WE had massive fights over it (nothing new we fought constantly anyway). He would agree to go get tested then back out. WE decided to look into adoption- he refused to actually spend money so we decided to adopt an older child. Went through all the home studies and mountains of paperwork to become adoptive parents in FL. After countless ups and downs we finally met tow little boys ages 4 and 6. They were precious and perfect to me. But their social worker blocked it because she felt that they would be better placed with a black family (boys were African American). I was devastated. My ex didn’t seem to give a crap.
Fast forward several years, lots of depression meds and moves around the east coast. I finally had enough. In the end the ex went and got tested trying to appease me- he was completely 100% sterile- no sperms at all. He agreed to donor sperm and to TTC, but our relationship had deteriorated to a point that I couldn’t take anymore. I realized that I couldn’t live with someone that decided he needed to live in a different state than me (I had a job he was unemployed but wanted to be in FL), and that had to point out when he was trying that we made it a whole weekend with out fighting even though I was pushing his buttons constantly.
So I left.
Over the years I had remained friends with my college sweetheart. We tried several times as young adults to get together but miss communication seemed to always work against us. We actually got married within a week of each other and both had miserable marriages (which we hadn’t really shared that info) but we were Christmas card ‘friends’. During the break up’s we started talking a bit more. My ex had just had a heart attack and Jim was super supportive. WE lived 1000 miles apart so this was all innocent and via email. As both marriages broke down, we started really leaning on each other.
I had decided that I was going to move back to Missouri, I just hadn’t decided where. Then Jim and I talked about maybe seeing what was there between us. We meet up in AL over Memorial Day weekend 2007. I was there for business, he came down to see me. And we clicked.
WE talked non stop, realized that those old feelings were there, and we just fit together. We both wanted children, but our ex’s truly didn’t.
I decided that weekend to move to where he lived, I was fortunate to be able to keep my old job- as it was 95% travel so it didn’t matter where I lived.
I moved in July 2007, we were engaged in October, at which point I moved in with him (shortest lease ever on a apartment!). I got a new job-no travel in February 2008.
We decided to try the month before we got married. So we officially started TTC in March 2008. Before that I had gone on BC pills- which I hadn’t taken in over 15 years.
We got our first BFP in June. Then over the 4th of July I started spotting. Got into see the doctor, and the most hateful u/s tech ever. She did an abdominal scan- and was complaining it was to early to see anything-I didn’t know enough to even suggest a transvaginal. But The doctor confirmed that I was most likely m/cing. I opted to go natural- and I bled for over 3 weeks. I was right around 71/2 weeks.
I got our next BFP in October; the excitement only lasted a few days, as that one turned into a chemical. My OB suggested that because of my age and two losses so close that she would refer me to an RE.
I had my appointment with the RE at the beginning of December. He diagnosed my with Hashimoto’s (hypo thyroidism- that I’m convinced the bc pills caused) and a uterine cyst. Planned on surgery the next month. Then I got our third BFP on December 22 had betas drawn and was told to expect to m/c. I started bleeding on Christmas day.
Surgery went ahead in January- laproscopy and hysteroscopy. The doctor removed the cyst and flushed out my tubes. Got the comment that everything looked healthy and much younger than my age.
We did one cycle of clomid and IUI, then I pushed DH and we did injectables and IUI. And that was our 4th BFP! And it was twins!!
But while baby b looked awesome, baby a was always a little behind, but at 6 weeks we had two heartbeats! The next u/s two weeks later though showed that baby a had dies around 7 ˝ weeks.
The rest of the pregnancy was pretty uneventful- and I delivered my perfect beautiful son in January 2010- I was 39.
Because of our age, we didn’t want to wait long to try for #2. We started TTC in July when DS was 6 months. We got a BFP in August which we lost at @ 4 ˝ weeks. AND then we got our next BFP in September. I went in at 6 weeks and baby was measuring behind, and the was a strange little bump in the placenta but the doctor was not worried. Went back a week later and we had a HB!! Such relief! Went in two weeks later and HB still going strong. Baby was measuring behind, but I had heard so many stories about babies measuring behind early on then catching up. That u/s was on a Monday. I was able to hear the hb, and see the little arms moving around it looked like a little potato with arms- so nicknamed it Spud. I relaxed a little.
Then that Wednesday night I noticed some brown spotting, that turned slightly red, Called the on-call and he wasn’t worried because we had a great u/s two days before. But in my heart I just knew. I went in the next morning to see my peri, and they confirmed that the baby had died- most likely the day before, I was 9 ˝ weeks. I opted for a D&C, I just wanted it to be over and be able to try again. I also opted for the genetic testing on the placenta.
The test results came back that it was a little boy and he had trisomy 18. Most die in utero- those that do survive typically die within their first year of life. I have never fully named any of my angles, and really I still think of this one as Spud, couldn’t imagine calling him something else.
I’m turning 40 in just a few weeks, so the thought of NOT being pregnant soon is terrifying to me. I really want CJ to have a sibling. I want him to have someone who will always be there for him, even when DH and I are gone. I want him to have that closeness that siblings have. So we are continuing trying for now. If we don’t get our sticky healthy bean soon, then we are considering heading back to the RE f or IVF,
Sam, thank you so much for sharing your story with us. You sound like an amazing, strong woman. I'm so glad that you got your first rainbow baby, and I hope and pray that you can have your second! I will keep you in my thoughts, please keep us posted!
*Thank you so much to Jaidynsmum for my beautiful siggy!*
Sophie Lucille: In my life for a moment, in my heart for a lifetime. May 25th, 2006 at 16 weeks.
Sam, thank you so much for sharing your story with us. You sound like an amazing, strong woman. I'm so glad that you got your first rainbow baby, and I hope and pray that you can have your second! I will keep you in my thoughts, please keep us posted!
Thank you Katie (.:Shortcake:.) for my beautiful siggy!!
Well it’s a kind of long story, so I’ll just highlight some of it… When I was 16, I had my first loss – I basically got a BFP & had bleeding (which at the time meant nothing, because I didn’t know it wasn’t normal), went for my first appt only to find out I had a m/c. At the time, I was sad but I also thought I would have more opportunities. I then got pregnant with my son. Throughout the first 3 months of the pregnancy I had bleeding, which again I figured to be completely normal & went through the pregnancy absolutely oblivious of the fact that it wasn’t normal – I gave birth to my son & was so happy. Single, because his father & I had split up before I even knew I was pregnant, but so happy. All the drama with his father that occurred throughout the pregnancy, I won’t even get into – suffice it to say that he had been seeing someone the entire time we had been together and once she heard I was pregnant, she would call & say she had various STD’s… So, it was just me & my little man for some time and I was seeing someone and had another loss – this was another relatively early loss, at about 6 weeks. Then I was with my daughter’s father… He was a close family friend & I had known him since I was young (he is 12 years older than I am) – every man I had ever dated was based on him – I had such a crush We ended up sleeping together (with a condom) and I was pregnant again. It was a shock, and throughout this pregnancy again, I bled, but this time for the first four months – I figured it was normal again… I then had my baby girl. After that gets kind of blurry… I know you ladies won’t judge, and now I realize some of the things that went so wrong in my life ~ I had several relationships after my DD was born, I ended up having several more losses (5 – all prior to 8 weeks). I remember the losses of the past 5 years more vividly ~ One was a blighted ovum diagnosed at 8 weeks, one was at 6 weeks – those were with a man I had dated for a year and a half… I remember those well because my sister announced her pregnancy when I just had a loss & had my nephew a couple weeks after I found out I had lost another. Then I started seeing my now ex- he said he didn’t want anything serious, but I felt as though he truly cared (I guess I should have listened to him) ~ I got pregnant with our first loss the very first time we were together. When I told my OB/GYN, she immediately had me start taking asprin, put me on progesterone and on lovenox. She was doing it all as “precautionary” – then did testing and found out I do have Factor V Leiden. The FOB came to terms with my pregnancy after a bit and was actually starting to get excited – we went in for a 16 week u/s and the baby wasn’t moving. They told me that the LO stopped developing at about 14 weeks. What a shock to the system that was ~ I had announced to the world (at least people I know ) that I was pregnant at 13 weeks thinking that was the “safe” point… Boy was I wrong ~ My ex & I continued seeing each other and I got pregnant again. Once again, it was lovenox, asprin and progesterone (all worth it to have a healthy baby). I was about 4 weeks when I found out. This time though, once I told him, he left me and said he met someone. It was so heartbreaking because I really care for him a lot (even still and I know what an a**hole he is). Well, I had two bleeding episodes, one at 9 weeks and one at 12, which scared me to death – after all my losses I finally figured out that bleeding was not always normal - I was hysterical thinking I had lost the baby, but I hadn’t, it was such a relief. So at my 14 week appt, my OB decided to do a cervical length check because of the D&C’s I had, she said it was great, nice & long. At my 16 week check up, I asked if they were going to do another length check, and she said that they weren’t because it looked so great, she didn’t think I would have a problem. *looking back now, I wish I had demanded one* I thought ok great – nothing is going to go wrong now, so I announced the pregnancy to everyone. What a mistake that was I went in for my anatomy scan on November 2, 2010 & found out I was having a boy – he was healthy, so I was on cloud nine, until they checked the cervix – My cervix had thinned and the membranes started to funnel - they admitted me in hopes to do an emergency cerclage the next morning, but it wasn’t to be. The cervix was too thin and stitching would have likely broken the membrane (had I known what the outcome was going to be anyway, I would have told them to try it). They decided to keep me on complete bed rest with hopes of maintaining the pregnancy at least to viability. That wasn’t meant to be either – I completely thinned and was 3cm dialated by Saturday & on Monday the 8th (Happy Birthday to me) I was dialated to 4cm. My OB came and told me that she wanted me to try deciding what to do – she said there was no chance, based on the progression, that I would carry to anywhere close to viability – she said my options were to get off bed rest and see if things would progress naturally, a D&E, or to keep trying staying on bed rest and see what happens. She said she didn’t want me to make such a decision on my b-day, so she said she’d be back the next morning to talk. Well, at this point I was 19 weeks & 1 day preggo, I knew the baby was healthy so I was definitely not doing a D&E, so it was one of the other choices… I couldn’t even begin to tell you how hard it was to even think about, but I had made the decision that I was going to try everything possible to keep my little boy, but the decision was made for me that evening at @ 6:30pm my water broke & so did my heart. The only small blessing was that I hadn’t decided it. At 1:30am on November 9, 2010 my little angel was delivered. I keep thinking about all the signs I should have noticed, but didn’t. The ‘what if’s” kill me My OB says that should I decide to try again, I will have the progesterone, lovenox & asprin, and now that I have a diagnosed case of incompetent cervix, I will have a prophylactic cerclage placed at 12 weeks. I so hope I am given a chance to be a mother again.
Thank you Katie (.:Shortcake:.) for my beautiful siggy!!
i rekindled a relationship with my ex which has been going really great. what i feel now is that we were very young when we first were together and now being older and ready for wedding bells and baby cribs we have been closer then ever and just very honest with who and where we are in our lives.
after we decided to get engaged we also decided we werent worried about getting pregnant before the wedding happens.
i was 8 weeks when that pregnancy ended and going through the m/c made me realize that i had not only m/c 'd ... but i knew exactly how it felt because the first time i was with my soon to be hubby, we broke up and i had a m/c ... it needed no aftercare because i just decided it was the most painful period ever. and went on with my life. not knowing or ever asking why i was doubled over in pain and why there was so much ... mass i guess youd say. i never told a doctor ... never told the my guy ... i didnt know ... weird to say.
well this kinda made me feel awful thati had m/c'd twice now ... though they were 5 years apart i was newly shocked.
i am now 11 weeks and am very excited for a new chance. i am in high hopes but how can you ever not be to scared to be excited? i know my guy has a hard time being excited cause of his fear of the past losses.
he now knows the whole story and we are just ... holding our breath id say! lol
My wife got pregnant at age 15 with her then bf and she had a son who is now 15 this May. I met her in 1998 and we married in 1999. I had adopted her son back in 2000 because the father wanted nothing to do with the child and I loved him and his mother to death.
We started to try to have another child immediately when we got married in 1999. From 1999-2006 my wife and I suffered 12 miscarriages. All of which were in the first trinester and never having heard a heartbeat on any of them. We had gone through many different tests which I do not know all the names. In January of 2007 we had our first successful pregnancy together and had a little girl. It was the first time we had ever seen or heard a heartbeat. We did nothing special with this pg and it just worked. She is our little miracle baby.
After we had our daughter we tried again and went on to have another 4 miscarriages from late 2007 to as present as January 2011.
We have been through 16 miscarriages in all and we still want more children. My wife is my hero through all of this that she has not cracked. We are at a loss as to why this keeps happennig and so are the Dr's.
I, too, am going to do an abridged version of my story.
I had my first son with no issues. I was just like the rest of the world where I had a positive pregnancy test and that meant I had a baby. Ahh... That was the last time I would see two lines and know a baby was coming.
I started to TTC #2 when #1 was about 5 months old. DH is older than I am and we would love to have a large family. Plus, I am certainly not getting any younger. I managed to get pregnant 6 times in about 18 months (avid charter) but never managed to get past 7 weeks. After 3 losses I went to an RE who ran every test he thought was necessary. I have MTHFR and PAI-1 but he didn't seem to think that they were "causes" but he had a few tricks up his sleeve. We tried progesterone. Still miscarried. We tried progesterone and lovenox injections. Still miscarried. So with my last pregnancy I chose to do nothing but asked the RE about trying some herbal tincture I had read about online. He wasn't exactly thrilled with the idea but since nothing else had worked he was open to trying something. That pregnancy stuck and is my baby boy #2. I am currently TTC#3 and am hopeful that I don't have to have another streak of losses before a sticky one.
For my whole story and more info on the herbs that MAY have helped me check out my blog. To read about my experience with the Welcome Womb click here.
---6 early losses---
I have a long history of miscarriages (ranging from 4-14 weeks development) the most recent happening almost 2 wks ago. I have a sweet husband and 3 beautiful children (13, 9 and 2) and a broken heart from yrs of burying the disappointment, pain and anger deep inside. this last m/c is the only one I have allowed anyone to really know about or be a part of in anyway. Even my husband has been kept at arms length and usually finds out about things months after it has happened (part of my survival tactics over the yrs). This time my husband was determined to do things differently and to NOT recreate the wheel, hoping it would help me (and some of the family) to get to a better place.
Each m/c has started the same way... I realize/determine I am indeed prego, within a short time, sometimes just hrs (except this last one) the vomiting, body aches, and cramping starts. I always know what is coming and just prepare for the next several hrs by telling everyone I don't feel good, taking some pain medication and heading to bed. Aside from trips to the bathroom and back to bed I just sleep, pretend to sleep and turn things over to my body and hold on for the ride. I have been lucky in that the physical pain has been minimal (with help from loratab) and I have not had any real trouble (and have even hidden it from those I live with) until this preg.
I told hubby as soon as I confirmed it (a wk after I realized it) who insisted we tell all the family right away. We didn't plan on having more and only had sex once (our anniversary) about 4 days before I would start my "clock work" period. I tried to be excited about everything and allowed myself to hope and dream for this sweet little one. We tried to pick names and settled on a boy's while still working for a girl's. I started figuring out what I would need since space and funds are limited and got excited about the family visiting for Thanksgiving just weeks after my due date. Trying to be excited and allowing myself to hope and dream (when I knew in my heart things were not right) made it harder and the roller coaster of emotions and events just that much more difficult to endure.
I was trying to take it easy knowing that the beginning was a hard time for me but at the same time delaying finding a local OB because I was worried and yet knew there was nothing they can do to change anything. I started cramping and spotting Fri evening (9 wks) and hubby insisted on the ER, the ultrasound said things were a couple weeks behind (yolk sac but nothing else). 2 wks of bedrest and blood tests and waiting confirmed that my hcg's were dropping and it was just a waiting game. I pushed myself trying to "take care of my family and be a real mom again" trying to take my mind off of things and not wanting to deal with the reality and telling the family.
Everything started out like before but this time I stood up and would have said my "water broke" except that it was worse. The bleeding was intense and the cramping just kept increasing. I got in the shower to clean off but ended up spending most of my time there. After about 4 hrs of intense pain and very heavy bleeding with alot of clots and clumps I told my mom I needed to go to the ER and to wake hubby. I was weak and light headed, the pain was getting worse and I was getting scared. (hubby was worried hrs earlier but my dad convinced him to trust me to know what I needed and let them know when I felt something was wrong since I was the only one who had dealt with this before)
It took hrs at the hospital to get bloodtests and ultrasounds and bring the hospital staff up to speed with us. Several doses of morphine did nothing for me and it took forever to be able to get more. After 12 hrs they got the bleeding to slow down and got the meds to help the pain at which point I slept until everything finally stopped. I was extremely close to needing a blood transfusion and am grateful it didn't come to that. I had my other kids naturally (2 were even born at home...no drugs at all) but this was the hardest thing and far worse in comparison. The text book explaination was (missed miscarriage) that it took alot longer from the baby dying to my body expelling it that it made things much more severe than ever before. Logically it makes sence but emotionally it doesn't help at all.
This m/c I reached a changing point that has pushed me to heal the yrs of broken heart and anger (the erupting volcano that is my heart) I have spent days writing and trying to "let out" everything that was buried or hiding inside. I am slowly healing and know that I can change things and one day after alot of time and work I will be able to come to terms with all that has happened. I wish that having told the family had made some magical difference with a couple specific people but it hasn't and probably never will. I hope that one day I will have healed enough that they are no longer able to hurt me like they have all these years.
I don't know if we will consider having another one or that we will ever understand the cause/reason behind all of these but I do see a light at the end of the tunnel that I never saw before. I know I am stronger because of this and am coming to appreciate how it has changed me. My heart goes out to each of you that has experienced such a loss and pray that your heart will heal, leaving you forever changed for the better.
We have always wanted a bigger family. So, we were ecstatic that we became pregnant with both girls the 1st month of not trying/not preventing. We thought it would always be that easy for us. Boy, were we wrong....so wrong!
We decided in July 2007 to TTC(trying to conceive) baby Willi #3. We tried several months with no success. My OBGYN decided to do some blood work & found that I have a hypothyroid issue. The 1st month we got my thyroid level at normal range, we became pregnant. We miscarried at 5 1/2 weeks (Oct 2008). My numbers had started going down the drs gave me NO warning that I would miscarry (I found out after the fact that my numbers had gone down & they knew about it). I felt blindsided! We kinda blew this one off because 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage (m/c) so, it was just a fluke. We were upset but got over it really quick. Though I was upset about the way the drs handled my situation. And then to top it off, they left me a message that they had to cancel my regular OB appt because the dr was going to be out of town & they would call the next week to reschedule. Then, a week after the "canceled" appointment, I received a letter from them saying they were going to charge me for a missed appointment. I decided it’s time to find a new dr!
I had my annual with a new dr & I discussed my TTC journey. She said that they have a wonderful infertility specialist in her office that she will refer me to see. Well, now we’re talking! Maybe we will get somewhere now.
We just kept pressing on, I began temping (this is where you wake up the same time every morning & take your temperature- your temps can tell you if you have ovulated & if they don’t drop, could mean you are pregnant). This is the link to my chart if you want to follow (though at the time of writing this, it's not updated since I have to wait to continue to TTC): 84f61 Ovulation charts on FertilityFriend.com Some tests were run & I was instructed to keep doing what we were doing.
We became pregnant again in July 2009, but we miscarried again (on Bryan's birthday) at 5 1/2 weeks. We were told, it was just a fluke because having 2 m/c's in a row is rare, so just continue what we are doing. As a precaution, I was put on 50mg progesterone suppositories & was told that will take care of the issue.
I went to see an endocrinologist, thinking the issue had to do with my thyroid since I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism after I had Valerie. How could I possibly have 2 healthy babies & then all of a sudden everything changes? My thyroid issue was the only new problem since I had Valerie. The endocrinologist flat out told me that my problem is NOT my thyroid, it’s my weight. I’m “too fat & I need to get my lazy butt up & work out daily”. Too fat??!! Really?! I know women who are obese, I’m talking 250+ lbs who get pregnant & have healthy babies & you’re going to tell me that at 150, I’m too fat to carry a pregnancy to term?! I don’t’ think so! Not to mention she is a thyroid dr & she made me undress so she could feel my breasts. As I was undressing still, her nurse just walks in! So, all this really pisses me off. She really did nothing to help me; all she did was insult me & make me uncomfortable. What a waste of time!
I got in contact with my infertility dr. in April 2010. We did an HSG(they insert dye into your uterus & look to see if the dye comes out of the fallopian tubes- if it does, the tubes are all clear, if not, you need surgery to correct the issue), everything was clear & we started clomid in May. Clomid makes your body do what it’s supposed to at the time it’s supposed to. Ovulation timing is changed & how my body reacted after I ovulated was changed for the better. That stuff really works!!!
Well, 3 months of clomid & we became pregnant again in July 2010 (I saw an acupuncturist the day before I found out-so I can't say that was the reason, but hey, I tried it) & miscarried again at 4 1/2 weeks. They increased my progesterone to 100mg & the drs. (2 of them on 2 separate occasions) said, "wow you really have bad luck" & no further testing is needed. I refused to take that as an answer, “bad luck”. I demanded to have more tests run. They refused until I literally BEGGED repeatedly (I was the squeaky wheel). They broke down & tested me for MTHFR(I specifically asked for this test as several ladies on my message board had it & I was not ever tested for it). I tested positive with 2 gene mutations. I was told that no further testing needs to be done & to correct this I would need to take additional folic acid, B-6, B-12, & start a baby aspirin regimen.
Sept.-I still begged for more to be done. They agreed to send me to an RE(reproductive endocrinologist). I was SO EXCITED, & couldn't sleep. This is it; we are finally going to get some answers. Everyone talks about how wonderful their RE is & how they are so understanding & helpful. We went in to see her. She reviewed my file, & she said, "I'm sorry, you just have bad luck". That was it! What is this some kind of conspiracy?? We walked out of the office & into the hallway & I just lost it. I turned to Bryan & just started crying. This can’t be it for us, there HAS to be more.
In Oct., the Infertility dr said it's time to either start doing IUI(they would take a sperm deposit from Bryan & inject it directly into my uterus) or move on to different meds. We agreed to start doing IUI(anything infertility related is NOT covered by our insurance so all of this will need to be paid out of pocket). We decided to start in December. The 1st month didn't work out as they are only open certain hours on Saturdays & closed on Sundays. Of course, with my luck, I would ovulate on Sat.- they had 1 appt at 10am (it was 9 before the moron figured out which location to direct my call to when I had originally called at 7:30am). The facility they were available at was over an hour away(they only have 2 facilities that do the IUI- & they alternate Saturdays, in this case it was the facility that was further away), I still had to drop the girls off at the sitters, pick up Bryan & drive out there! There was no way we were going to make it on time, so it was scratched. What a rush, but I come up disappointed, once again.
With my luck, I was afraid that would happen, so that Monday I had an appt with a new dr I had set up a few weeks prior. This dr (dr. Stokes) is only a block from my house & performs IUI in his office! So, I told him my history, he was very understanding & seemed like he would be proactive. He didn't change any of my meds or vitamins, didn’t order any tests. He said he is available 24/7 to do the IUI, so this cannot go wrong for us. His receptionist insisted she call our insurance company to talk to them about covering our IUI after I told her we would be paying out of pocket. I told her that I guess it couldn't hurt but I already know the answer. She called a couple days later to inform me that they agreed to consider paying for some if not ALL of our IUI costs. WOW! I'm in shock, this is great!
In the meantime, I asked my primary care physician if I could get a referral to see a hematologist. She said that she didn’t even know what that was. After explaining that it was a blood dr., she said that she didn’t see how that kind of dr would be able to help me. Grrrrrrrr
We did the IUI the next cycle & on Jan 24th, 2011 I found out I am pregnant again! Unfortunately, I had to beg him to do my HCG & progesterone levels. Here we go again, he's literally just sitting & waiting to see what's going to happen. It’s just so frustrating. I thought he was going to be proactive.
Well, my HCG levels went like this:
614, 707, 562(they are supposed to double every 48 hrs). So, I know what this means. The thing is....the dr didn’t even call to tell me the results yet! Yeah, they take 2 days to report them for a test that takes just an hour to do. So, I went to the hospital & filled out a form & they released them to me the same day I did the test! I'm so beyond frustrated at this point. It seems I can't get anyone to listen to me. I obviously need additional tests done, but all the drs think I just have bad luck. I can't imagine that if this was happening to the dr or a drs loved one that they would continue to let them m/c like this. This is inhumane, how do they sleep at night??!! I was basically waiting to miscarry.
I m/c’d on Valentine’s Day. At that point, I think it’s all over & I began grieving & trying to move on ( I sank into a bit of depression). We went to Kalahari for a little vacation (we booked it in Nov. or Dec.). The last day we were there, I could tell that I had contracted a UTI(urinary tract infection). That night I had severe pains in my abdomen & near my right ovary area. I figured the UTI was just moving into my bladder. I called my insurance advice nurse line the next morning & they had me talk to an OBGYN. She wanted me to take another HCG level draw as well as test for the UTI-I went in that day to do the tests. The morning after that, the OB called 1st thing. She said that the last blood draw I did for HCG came back with some odd numbers (they were still going up, not down) & that she wanted me to do an ultrasound ASAP. Here, I’m guessing that not all of the pregnancy tissue has made its way out because that has happened before. It turned out to be an ectopic pregnancy in my right tube! Confusion sets in. I don’t understand. How can this be? I KNOW I had a m/c on Valentine’s Day. I passed a sac that looked exactly like the other 3 indicating there was a pregnancy. Wait a minute! I remembered that severe pain I had just 2 days ago. Does that mean my tube ruptured? I could die from this! The dr explained that she could give me a shot that basically would make the pregnancy dissolve but since I had the severe pains the other day it would be best to do surgery just in case my tube did rupture. She was not available until later that afternoon and it would have to be at another hospital that is near Cleveland. I really didn’t want to travel that far. I wanted to be home. So, she called dr. Stokes to see if he was available. Thank God he was! She said, do not pass go, do not go home, this is an emergency. It MUST be done NOW. You must go directly to the hospital. I felt numb, confused. I didn’t know what to expect.
Got to the hospital & did all of the registering, prepping, etc. I didn’t know what to expect. In fact, I was more scared of doing a laparoscopy than I was for having my c-sections! I was so confused why this was happening to me & I wanted to talk to the dr. before going into surgery (as I knew I would be too out of it to ask questions after). I was wheeled down into a waiting room & they sent Dr. Stokes in to talk to me. I asked him if there was such a thing as getting pregnant with twins but one was nestled in my uterus & one in my right tube. He said that yes there is such a thing. It’s called a heterotopic pregnancy. It’s VERY rare for this to happen & it looks like that’s what has happened to me. He explained that if the baby in my uterus was still there, he could still do the procedure to remove the ectopic & the uterine pregnancy could go on to produce a healthy baby. However, I already lost that baby so in my case, I lost twins.
After the surgery, I learned that my tube was saved however; I will be at risk for an ectopic everytime I conceive from ovulation from my right tube. Recovery wasn’t bad. I was forced to basically lay around for the weekend & take it easy for the rest of the next week. Not easy to do for me because I am always moving around doing something around the house. Bryan & the girls took very good care of me.
The depression sank in again very quickly. It just really got to me that we lost twins (our 4th & 5th losses).
I removed the bandages from my surgery. I only had 2 entry areas. One in my belly button & one in my c-section scar. Well, my belly button seemed infected. It was sore & had some puss. I got an appointment with Dr. Stokes office but it was with a different dr. She walked in & asked, “So, you are here for pregnancy?” WHAT?! Seriously, I JUST had an ectopic removal. Is it really that hard to look at the chart before entering the patient’s room? Thanks for adding salt to the wound.
A few days later, March 10th, I had an appointment with a high risk/perinatologist dr. This gave me a light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe he will find something the other drs couldn’t. They told me to drink a lot of water before my appointment. I thought this is odd. I’m guessing they want to do an u/s but why? There is nothing there to see, unless they want to get a good look at my ovaries & tubes. I check in. The receptionist asks, “Is this your 1st pregnancy with Dr. Khoury?” WHAT??!! You have got to be kidding me! What is the deal with these drs! “um, NO, I am here for recurrent pregnancy loss” I kinda snapped back. Already, I’m feeling uncomfortable about this. She calls me back & says that she is putting me in the meeting room since this is just a consultation. Uhhhh, I drank all this water for a consultation? Obviously they didn’t read the paperwork the insurance company sent them or listened to me when I called to make my appointment. They all thought I was there for pregnancy. As I was waiting, a dr passed through the meeting room to the receptionist area. I could hear him yelling at her. “what was that patients blood pressure?” nurse, “I don’t know, I didn’t get a chance to take it” “Every patient should have their BP taken when they get in their room, that patient is VERY sick & should have been wheeled down to labor & delivery already!” Uhhhhhhh, can we say it’s even more uncomfortable being here now?? Finally, my dr comes in. We go over my history. There are 2 things that he could see that I have not been tested for. One was for a blood clotting issue(Antiphospholipid) & the other was for my chromosomes. He will only have the Kaiser OB order the blood clotting test 1st, if the results are negative.
The results came back & were negative. In a way, I kinda hoped they were positive so I have an answer.
I found a list of tests on a message board I accidentally found while researching heterotopic & recurrent pregnancy. These are all tests that can be done to see if you have something that will cause recurrent pregnancy loss (RPL). I went through the list & compared my medical records to it & there were several that I had not done yet. So, I talked to Dr. Stokes about it. I also told him that I think I have a blood clotting issue when I become pregnant or that my chromosomes have changed possibly from my MTHFR diagnosis. I have never been tested for any blood clotting issues while I’m pregnant, only when I’m not. He agreed to look over the list & determine if there is anything more we can do and to test me for blood clotting issues the next time I become pregnant. I faxed the list to him.
A few days later he called me back to go over his findings. The tests were listed in certain categories & basically if the 1st test in each category is negative, there is no need to test for the others in that category. So, this explains why I was not tested for several things on the list. He didn’t see any results for my chromosomes, so he will order those labs for me & Bryan.
I’m practically throwing a party at this point, the dr is actually taking the time to listen to me & try to help me understand things! He didn’t blow me off as the crazy, persistent patient. FINALLY I’m getting somewhere!
A few days later, I have another post op appointment with him. He basically just went over what we discussed on the phone & talked about how we will be doing a HSG to make sure my tube is clear since we did surgery on it. I got my labs for the HSG & also for my chromosomes test.
I took the chromosomes test on the 20th & I have my HSG scheduled for Mon. May 2nd. If everything is all clear, we will start the clomid/IUI regimen my next cycle.
So, this is my story so far. I will update as I have new events……..to be continued.
This is the first time i have ever spoken to a group like this x
I had my 3rd miscarriage 3wks ago i'm still hurting and mood very up and down, but getting there!!
14 years ago i had a text book pregnancy, text book labour and delivery but since then i have not been able to carry past 13 wks. My 1st lost was 7 yrs ago (7-8 wks pg) my 2nd lost was 8 mths later (13wk 4 days) after the 2nd loss i couldn't bring myself to try again, The hospital run tests on my little boy and there was no chromosome damage - just another "one of those things".
On a slightly better note i am in a new loving relationship and we really wanted to try for a baby, I spoke to my GP and she was optimistic with me being with someone new thing may be different, but yet again I miscarried.
The hospital have made me an appointment to see the specialist but they have stipulated that i don't keep ttc until after the appointment as they require 12wks for your hormones to go back to normal?. I feel like i'm gong crazy the waiting is horrible!!
Can i just say that this site is a blessing!! it's horrible to say!! - i wouldn't wish this on anyone, but it's so nice to know i'm not alone. My partner does all he can, he was devastated to but it just isn't quite the same for men and he hasn't been through this before x