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... & so the (ectopic pregnancy) anniversaries begin


Forum: Recurrent Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss

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  #1  
September 22nd, 2008, 03:17 PM
Gaby&Emmy'sMama's Avatar aka NZ-Emma
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Christchurch, NZ
Posts: 56,619
Yesterday it was 1 year since I got my first positive pregnancy test, with my ectopic pregnancy... I have been feeling really good as far as all my losses go, over the past few months - but now things are starting to get a bit hard again. I think I *am* healed from the loss, but thinking about everything that I/we went through between September 22 - October 21 last year, I'm finding it hard - it's like everyday of that month added another piece of confusion to the whole experience.

I really wish I wasn't able to remember all of the dates... it makes it so much harder to NOT think about it all.
September 22 - got my first obvious BFP (I got a very very faint one on around the 20th)
September 23 - my 'period' arrived & I presumed I'd had a chemical pregnancy
October 4 - for some reason I did a HPT & it was positive, later that day had an u/s which showed an empty uterus - and empty fallopian tubes
October 11 - another u/s - another empty uterus - & empty fallopian tubes
October 18 - had some spotting on the day my AF would be due if my 'AF' on September 23 was AF - presumed I was going to m/c
October 19 - went to doctor about my spotting, he insisted I go up to the gyne ward at the hospital for an Anti-D shot & to be assessed to eliminate possibility it was ectopic. Had blood test. Hcg level had started dropping. Doctor told me he'd prefer me to stay in hospital overnight while they figured out what was going on. I refused......
October 20 - went back to gyne ward for an u/s - again, empty uterus, empty fallopian tubes, empty abdomen (as far as pregnancy goes!). Told to come back in on 21st for another hcg test & possibility of surgery if the hcg levels indicated an ectopic pregnancy
October 21 - went back to gyne ward, had blood test - after levels had dropped on previous test - they were rising again (which I had dreamt happened the night before). Doctor confirmed a 'pregnancy of unknown origin' & I was admitted to hospital - then about 2 hours later was taken down to have surgery... Woke up in recovery & told me that I had indeed had an ectopic pregnancy - which had been in my right tube - and they had had to remove the tube as well...

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  #2  
September 22nd, 2008, 09:28 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Upstate SC
Posts: 4,443
I'm so sorry for your loss, we all have bad days and angel days are hard.

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  #3  
September 23rd, 2008, 08:24 AM
4iris's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Midwest
Posts: 10,732
That was such a rough roller coaster ride you were on last year. I remember all of the confusion and stress you were going through. I hope this year continues to bring you peace, even as you pass the anniversary of this difficult time.

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  #4  
September 23rd, 2008, 07:26 PM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Michigan
Posts: 12,330
Emma - I am sorry you are feeling like you have to retrace all those painful steps. It truly is very hard. My thoughts & prayers go out to you as you pass many of these dates that I am sure bring back a whole spectrum of emotions.
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If a man has been his mother's undisputed darling he retains throughout life the triumphant feeling, the confidence in success, which not seldom brings actual success along with it. ~Sigmund Freud
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  #5  
September 24th, 2008, 08:43 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,708
Prayers for you...
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