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Forum: Recurrent Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss

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  #1  
October 22nd, 2008, 06:20 AM
kristajoyce's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: KC, MO
Posts: 222
I wish I would have found this board earlier. I have been hanging out in parenting after loss, but last week, my doctor told me I was going to miscarry again and I have just been waiting for it to happen. They have been very supportive in that group, but I feel like I am just a big downer when they are all so happy about being pregnant again.

I had a loss at 17 weeks in April. Of course it was emotionally devestating. They weren't able to tell us what went wrong and my doctor told me that we could start trying again after one period. I found out that I was pregnant mid-September and was cautiously excited. I started bleeding last weekend and had an u/s on Monday where they could see the blood, but I grew the right amount and they weren't worried. I already had a scheduled u/s for last Thursday and they had me come in for that too. There was no difference in the sac size and I was still bleeding heavily. The doctor told me to expect to miscarry within the week.

I go back in this morning for an u/s to check the progress of the m/c. My husband left this morning for a business trip and won't be home until Sunday. My mom is going to watch my kids for me while I go to the doctor. She is the only one that knows about any of this. We didn't want to tell anyone we were pregnant this time because of how hard it was last time.

I know that I am not alone, but I feel that way. I don't know if I have lost the baby yet. All I have seen is blood. I have had no cramping. I guess I am still hoping for a miracle, but there are just too many signs that this baby can't make it.

I don't know what to expect and I just feel like I am in limbo. At least I will have more answers in four hours.

Thanks for listening...
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  #2  
October 22nd, 2008, 10:12 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Upstate SC
Posts: 4,443
I'm so sorry for what you are going through and for your previous loss.

(((((HUGS))))
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  #3  
October 22nd, 2008, 06:13 PM
kristajoyce's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: KC, MO
Posts: 222
Thanks, the u/s today showed that the m/c should happen very soon and my cervix was just starting to dialate. It's hard because my dh is out of town this week and I am very lonely. My kids are sweet, but they don't understand what is going on.
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  #4  
October 22nd, 2008, 08:08 PM
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Austin, TX
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I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I hope you are doing ok.
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Me: 33
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TTC 3/07
m/c - 7/29/07 (5w4d)
m/c - 10/8/07 (6w4d)
m/c - 2/27/08 (11w5d)
m/c - 6/20/08 (7w2d)
9/08 - IVF w/ PGD: Cycle cancelled, not enough mature follies
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12/08 - IVF w/ PGD: BFP!
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  #5  
October 23rd, 2008, 03:48 AM
Mega Super Mommy
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I am so sorry to hear about your loss.
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  #6  
October 23rd, 2008, 05:47 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
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So sorry for your loss(es). If you need to talk, we're here for you.
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  #7  
October 23rd, 2008, 06:23 PM
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I am so sorry. I know no words can really help - just know you aren't alone.
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  #8  
October 24th, 2008, 06:56 AM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Michigan
Posts: 12,330
Quote:
I wish I would have found this board earlier. I have been hanging out in parenting after loss, but last week, my doctor told me I was going to miscarry again and I have just been waiting for it to happen. They have been very supportive in that group, but I feel like I am just a big downer when they are all so happy about being pregnant again.

I had a loss at 17 weeks in April. Of course it was emotionally devestating. They weren't able to tell us what went wrong and my doctor told me that we could start trying again after one period. I found out that I was pregnant mid-September and was cautiously excited. I started bleeding last weekend and had an u/s on Monday where they could see the blood, but I grew the right amount and they weren't worried. I already had a scheduled u/s for last Thursday and they had me come in for that too. There was no difference in the sac size and I was still bleeding heavily. The doctor told me to expect to miscarry within the week.

I go back in this morning for an u/s to check the progress of the m/c. My husband left this morning for a business trip and won't be home until Sunday. My mom is going to watch my kids for me while I go to the doctor. She is the only one that knows about any of this. We didn't want to tell anyone we were pregnant this time because of how hard it was last time.

I know that I am not alone, but I feel that way. I don't know if I have lost the baby yet. All I have seen is blood. I have had no cramping. I guess I am still hoping for a miracle, but there are just too many signs that this baby can't make it.

I don't know what to expect and I just feel like I am in limbo. At least I will have more answers in four hours.

Thanks for listening...[/b]
Kristajoyce,
I am so sorry for your losses. It is incredibly difficult to go through loss, but it can be overwhelming to go through it again & again. I am sorry that this is happening at a time when DH can't be home too - that only adds to how hard this is I am sure. With my last mc, I started bleeding over the weekend, passed the baby on Wednesday, stopped bleeding on Sunday & had to go to a week long convention for work on Monday. I was miserable to have to go out of state with co-workers I don't feel close to & spend my evenings alone in a hotel. I am not sure we ever feel like we aren't alone, but there certainly are things that can make you feel even more alone. I can promise you that you aren't alone, that we all understand on some level, as we all have been through losses. I also know that doesn't help as much as I wish it would....because in the end, it doesn't matter what I have been through, or anyone else, what matters right now is what you are going through & what you are feeling.... Please feel free to come here to talk about all of it - to let us try to help you process & to heal as much as you can.

Again I am so sorry & I hope being here helps you feel validated, understood & supported.
Much love-
__________________
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We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. ~Gloria Steinem

If a man has been his mother's undisputed darling he retains throughout life the triumphant feeling, the confidence in success, which not seldom brings actual success along with it. ~Sigmund Freud
My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon
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  #9  
October 24th, 2008, 10:37 AM
miraceti's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Zagreb-Croatia
Posts: 360
I am so sorry!
Hugs!
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  #10  
October 27th, 2008, 02:23 PM
kristajoyce's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: KC, MO
Posts: 222
Thanks for the support. I lost the baby Saturday evening. It wasn't as painful or dramatic as I thought it would be. I am still a little numb emotionally. I am a wedding photographer and had to do a wedding on Sunday (yesterday). I am really sore and tired. My husband promised me he would spoil me this week when he got home, but every time I sit down, he is asking me for something. I just cannot live up to anyone's expectations and I just want to crawl into a hole.
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