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How am I supposed to feel?


Forum: Recurrent Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss

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  #1  
November 23rd, 2008, 08:10 PM
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To make a long story short, I had a miscarriage last year and my body hasn’t been the same ever since.

I finally found out the other day that I had a cyst which was the answer to why I wasn’t getting my periods regularly. I also found out that I do not produce progestrone which is needed for ovulation and for you to actually have a baby.

My doctor is very reassuring that I will be able to have a baby. He told that I would have to take provera at least every three months (probably now since my last period was October 20th (33 days ago)) and he would put me on Clomid when I’m ready.

So I thought well I’ll wait until I get my period however it hasn’t come yet and I so want a child.

I guess the point of this whole blog is that I’m angry. I angry at a friend of mine who is having her second child and how happy she is to do this (keep in mind that I gave her advice to buy that clearblue easy fertility monitor) and I’m angry at a girl whose baby shower is coming up and yet she is so like me (has had two miscarriages already).

What am I supposed to say to these two girls who are happy and in bliss over their pregnancies? How am I supposed to feel? When will it be my turn to feel that happy?
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  #2  
November 24th, 2008, 04:02 AM
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Welcome Diane!!! We have a wonderful group of ladies here to offer support, encouragement, etc. Your emotions that you are feeling are totally normal. I have been there myself numerous times. It sounds like your dr's have a plan for you on your TTC journey.

Hugs to you!!!!
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  #3  
November 24th, 2008, 06:34 AM
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Welcome, Dianne! I'm so glad you took me up on my invite. Again, I wanted to state that what you are going through is absolutely normal.

One of my best friends called me as I was miscarrying Gwen to tell me she was in the ER. She asked me to come be with her. (She didn't know I was miscarrying.) I went and was in the room when the doctor told her she was pregnant. Talk about hurt! But, as time has passed, it has gotten easier. I love her daughter and love being around her. There are still days where I have a really hard time with Erin (the baby).

Same kind of thing with my God-daughter. She was a birth control baby. I was so mad at first. Kim had always said she didn't want children. And here she was, having a great pregnancy. Don't get me wrong, I love Nevaeh with all my heart, but it can be very difficult. I'm only gotten to see her one time because they live 8 hours from me, and I bawled when she left. Not because I missed her already, but because I wanted Gwen and Dominic here in my arms.
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  #4  
November 24th, 2008, 10:40 AM
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I think everyone who suffers from recurrent miscarriage (especially) feels that way at some point in time. I got a call when I was still pregnant a few weeks ago from my brother in law saying that his wife was pregnant-less than a week behind me as a matter of fact and it was an accident as well. I was so mad because not only had I already had several miscarriages and hoping for our first baby, but I knew they would take the spot light from us with their baby-even though it would be my brother in laws third child. Now I'm just bitter at them because they are going to have the baby we should be having- a living breathing baby to always remind us of what we will never have to hold in their arms. I don't know how long it will take me to get over this, maybe I never will, but I totally know how you feel, and I think it's normal.
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  #5  
November 24th, 2008, 02:09 PM
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I know that eventually it will be my turn to have a child and my doctor's are doing the best they can to offer me the support. I just hope that it happens soon. I don't really like feeling the way that I do!
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  #6  
November 26th, 2008, 06:28 AM
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Join Date: May 2007
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It's normal to feel that way, I have felt that way so many times.

Has your Dr checked you for PCOS? I also don't make a lot of Progesterone and right now with the help of Metformin my hormones were regulated. I had 7 miscarriages before I had a Dr figure out I miscarried due to low progesterone, and with both of my boys I was on Progesterone during the first trimester.
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