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I got this "motivation moment" throught a work e-amil today.
One evening, sitting by the campfire, an old Cherokee Chief told his grandson about the battle of life. He said, "My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all.
One wolf is called Evil - It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
The other wolf is called Good - It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."
The grandson thought for a moment and then asked, "Which wolf wins, Grandfather?"
The old Chief simply replied, "The one you feed."
It kinda took me back that they would place sorrow under the discription of the Evil Wolf.
I know sorrow is something we sadly have all experienced. For me personally I was very depressed after each loss, ecspecially my ectopic loss. Was hated myself! I chose to end my childs life to save my own. As a mother I was mad that I could not save my child. In reality my baby had never developed passed a sac (thank God!) and I was bleeding internally. But none of that mattered to me b/c I could not see passed what I HAD DONE.
I never thought about feeding my sorrow. But this is deffiently something I did! I dwelled on the "what if's" and beat myself up over the "could I have done somthing different."
But now that enough time has passed I find myself, while still sad, more appreciate of the time I had with each of my babies. While I wish I could have held them in my arms rather then just my belly I still feel blessed to be a mother of 5 not just the 2 living children I have.
I guess this post turned into more of a rambling Sorry! But I did want to share this with you since I know 1st hand how easy it is to fall and stay in that deep sorrowful hole.
(((HUGS))) to all who find themselves filled with sorrow. I hope that it will lessen in time.
Last edited by ~*Kixs*~; June 11th, 2009 at 07:24 AM.
Thank you for that, and I agree with it 100%. While sorrow can be a good thing, it is also a very evil thing when it goes too far.
My New Years resolution was to finally "get over it". Not over the loss of my babies, but the sorrow, and black moods that were keeping me down. Keeping me inside, keeping me fat. And so far the black moods and sorrow are gone, we're working on the fat. One day those three will look down and me and thing "Who's the lady there, that's certainly not our mommy." and that's exactly what i want.
~TTC #1 together 1 year and counting ~
Battling Estrogen Dominance, Hashimoto's Thyroiditis and Recurrent Miscarriage one day at a time
Awesome siggy made by Jaidynsmum
Matthew and Mark 08/24/2005 9w1d, Mattie Anne 04/07/2008 8w Mel and Dee 01/18/2010 (8 weeks) and 5 chemical pregnancies
Hope 07/21/2012@4w1dKonnor 11/24/2012@3w6d"Emmy"1/15/2013@ 3w6dRonen 02/102013@3w5d
i found this antecdote very profound. i put a little note on my desk so every day i can ask myself "which wolf wins?" when i get too caught up with things, TTC and life in general. most days the bad wolf still wins, but i've been trying to be more conscious about beating myself up and thinking negatively.
BFP 9/4/09 - Michael John born 5/5/10
ectopic w/tube closure 3/24/09, 8w0d
2nd m/c 12/27/08, 5w2d
1st m/c 10/12/08, 4w6d