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I wanna cry


Forum: Recurrent Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss

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  #1  
March 24th, 2010, 08:57 PM
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My sister in law is scheduled for induction tomorrow. She does nothing but complain about her pregnancy and the stress about having another kid. I can't find within myself to be happy or excited for her. She is getting the one thing I want most in the world and she complains about it. I just want to cry! I am going to be expected to visit them at the hospital, but I really don't want to...
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  #2  
March 24th, 2010, 10:48 PM
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  #3  
March 25th, 2010, 06:14 AM
dreamer10's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I am so sorry. I would want to cry too. Go ahead...maybe we can cry together. As to the visit...you could covientantly get sick....goodness, you don't want to get that baby ill...right? Do what you need for you right now. Your sister in law obviously needs to figure herself out too...but not at your expense.
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  #4  
March 25th, 2010, 06:32 AM
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I'm not sure I'm the best person for advice, because I'd just tell her flat out to shut up and realize how lucky she is. (I have said this to a friend.) I wouldn't visit in the hospital. If they ask, be honest. You're still grieving. You don't want to be around a baby and reminded of what you've been through.

I hope you are able to figure out the best way to go about this...
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  #5  
March 27th, 2010, 08:00 PM
Libby22's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I would be the same.
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  #6  
March 27th, 2010, 09:23 PM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
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It is so hard to see people not appreciating what they have, when we don't have the same.
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  #7  
March 28th, 2010, 10:25 AM
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I wouldn't want to go to the hospital either. I agree with the sick excuse but being honest could work too.
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  #8  
March 28th, 2010, 11:09 AM
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You have no obligation to her to go and visit in the hospital. It is still RSV, cold, and flu season. Goodness knows she would have more to complain about if the baby got sick with any of those, so you could easily state that your not visiting BECAUSE of that. Or, as Augie suggested you could be honest, but that could backfire and end up in bigger drama.

I lost Rian when SIL was pg. She complained her whole pg, and I told her one day that if she wanted to complain, I understood because 3rd tri is uncomfortable at best, BUT I didn't want to hear it because I WANTED to be in 3rd tri. I told her I wanted to be uncomfortable, and not able to see my feet or shave my legs. I wanted to waddle around like a duck. Eventually she realized and left me alone for a while.
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  #9  
March 28th, 2010, 03:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by docsmomma View Post
You have no obligation to her to go and visit in the hospital. It is still RSV, cold, and flu season. Goodness knows she would have more to complain about if the baby got sick with any of those, so you could easily state that your not visiting BECAUSE of that. Or, as Augie suggested you could be honest, but that could backfire and end up in bigger drama.

I lost Rian when SIL was pg. She complained her whole pg, and I told her one day that if she wanted to complain, I understood because 3rd tri is uncomfortable at best, BUT I didn't want to hear it because I WANTED to be in 3rd tri. I told her I wanted to be uncomfortable, and not able to see my feet or shave my legs. I wanted to waddle around like a duck. Eventually she realized and left me alone for a while.
Ditto. I would say something to SIL and this just hits the nail on the head. I know I did my share of complaining in the 3rd trimester, but wouldn't change it at all. Some peopl5e just don't get it until you say something. I don't visit in the hospital or even a person's house, unless they invite to do so. But really, I prefer not to have visiters over right away and I know where I work (w/ kids). I know I carry lots of germs around and would rather wait to visit until the baby's immune system is stronger.
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