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You know I am ok...I started my period yesterday and thats ok...I dont mind really. My body needed that time to start to heal and I am glad it took it. Now I really want to look forward to new and happy things. I like feeling good about where I am at whats going on. I have high hopes and prayers for all of us this year...in whatever our struggles are....
I hate to complain about being pregnant, but everybody around me just acts like it's not going to bother me that I lost 3 babies in 9 months. I'm ******* terrified to lose this baby too, and yet everyone in my family just expects me to be okay, in fact being upset is not allowed, either because they are "too busy" to deal with it or god forbid, it might upset my mother. If I have to hear her whine about losing her mother and her dog in the same year one more ******* time (the dog is not dead yet by the way, in fact she's doing pretty well) I'm going to snap. Because you know what happened just two weeks before MY gram died? TWO OF MY BABIES DIED INSIDE OF ME. But noooobody even thinks to support me.
Oh and by the way mom? You didn't JUST lose your mom and your not-dead-yet dog. You lost a couple of grandkids too. But I guess they don't count huh?
Sorry for the rant, but it's almost Passover, and 6 weeks before each major holiday (Christian and Jewish) my mother announces that she is unbearably stressed and can't possibly think about being emotionally available until after the holiday. So I never get the chance to tell her any of this. And due to the structure of my family (enmeshed and dysfunctional) I can't just cut her out of my life.
Rebecca, don't apologize for venting, sweetie. Yes, you are pregnant, but you ARE under a great deal of stress, pressure, anxiety, etc. You have lost three babies, you have every right to vent away (whether you're pregnant or not).
I don't have any advice about your mom...I'm pretty vocal, and have a really hard time keeping my mouth shut when I get emotional. Personally, I'd tell her how I'm feeling. I know that's probably not the best way to handle it though.
austinmommy, I'm glad you're doing better.
Thanks to Jaidynsmum for my siggy!
Proud former foster parent to a teen. Waiting on our next call. Proud Aunt to 22.
Proud mommy to 7 angels. Survivor of 4 failed adoptions (5 kids)