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Forum: Recurrent Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss

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  #1  
March 30th, 2010, 05:59 PM
dreamer10's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Each time we get pregnant we tell fewer and fewer people about it just because I get tired of trying to explain why I tried again and why it didn't work...(as if I even know!)...

How do you all handle your pregnancies? How do you handle all the questions about when "enough is enough"....just curious. After this most recent loss for us I have sat and pondered how far I will go and and how long I will try. Is the next one going to work? If not then what?

How do you all feel on the subject?

Just curious....
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Our rainbow baby Brynlee Sue was born August 17th after four heartbreaking loses! Life is an amazing journey. Hang on, keep your faith and try to always move forward!
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  #2  
March 30th, 2010, 06:39 PM
esparando para bebé's Avatar Proud Car Seat Technician
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Last time we decided to tell the world. Next time, I don't know. After my third, I also questioned how many losses I could take, and how far I would go. I've come to the conclusion that we're just going to take it step by step (though my posts don't always reflect that!) With each new process we'll decide then and only then if we're willing...
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  #3  
March 30th, 2010, 07:44 PM
austinmommy3's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I have had unfortunately so many losses that I don't breathe a word if I can help it and hide my tummy until 15 weeks or so. That seems to be the time frame for me to get past m/c and then after that it's dealing with the fear of stillbirth. It was harder to hide the last two pregnancies as I seemed to pop out rather quickly.
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  #4  
March 30th, 2010, 09:41 PM
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The first time EVERYONE knew right away-the 2nd time fewer people knew-the 3rd time our parents knew and my job-next time I don't plan on opening my mouth until I have to, like there is no more hiding it.
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  #5  
March 31st, 2010, 08:43 AM
docsmomma's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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With my first loss, I hadn't said a word to anyone, because I found out I was pg just days before DS1's 1st b-day and I didn't want to take any attention off of him. I lost Carrick the day after DS1's birthday.

With my second child we told family and friends upfront, but then when I went to the doc I was told I wasn't pg so we told everyone it must have been a false positive, just to find out a few weeks later I was pg with DD, and had been when I saw the doc, my numbers were just really low (200).

So with my second loss, we told friends and family, plus all my online friends.

Then came my 3rd loss... we told only close family and my online friends. I didn't want to tell family, but they were helping with the other kids so I had to tell them.

Then with Joey, I told only online friends and a few family members up front. Most of the family didn't know until there was no hiding it.
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  #6  
March 31st, 2010, 07:33 PM
dreamer10's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Most of you have kind of taken the same approach that I have. The first one I told everyone because when I used to get pregnant it led to a baby...it always had, so I didnt feel the need not to tell...then with the second I told less people...although still too many in my opinion...then the third. Most everyone in my life including our children and family never knew about it and never will. If my next attmept is sucessful I will tell everyone when they start asking because it's just too obvious! It hurts too much to tell so many and then have to retell them....it's nice to hear that you all are not so different from me...I was beginning to think I was off my rocker!
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Our rainbow baby Brynlee Sue was born August 17th after four heartbreaking loses! Life is an amazing journey. Hang on, keep your faith and try to always move forward!
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  #7  
March 31st, 2010, 10:34 PM
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I guess it just comes with the 'territory', for a serious lack of a better word....
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  #8  
April 2nd, 2010, 07:33 AM
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With the first m/c - I told my BFF, DH told his entire family.
With DD - I told DH not to say anything until we had it confirmed at the doctor, so around 8 weeks DH told all of his family. I waited until I was 13ish weeks to tell my family. I told work and such sooner b/c I was required to lift A LOT (over the 10-15 pound limit).
With this recent m/c - I told them at work, DH told his sister and she mentioned it to MIL. Otherwise we didn't really tell people until I had to miss church and work and people asked what was going on. I had called my mother to ask her a question about the medicines prescribed since she was an OB/GYN nurse and she has probably told EVERYONE although nobody will say anything to my face - I'm sure they know. Usually, its add alcohol and she blabs everything but she's been forced sober and now on morphine from a car accident - so add in the morphine and God only knows what will slip out!
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  #9  
April 2nd, 2010, 05:38 PM
Happy Song's Avatar Nicole
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Joowie2 View Post
Each time we get pregnant we tell fewer and fewer people about it just because I get tired of trying to explain why I tried again and why it didn't work...(as if I even know!)...

Just curious....
I actually haven't had this issue. The first two losses we hadn;'t told a lot of people and the ones we had were very supportive. The third loss I just felt bad about from the moment of the first possitive test as I had been spotting all along. That one I told EVERYONE about as I wanted as many prayers for that baby as possible.

The baby I am carrying now, we told some people early, but most after we confirmed a heartbeat as my three losses were all preheartbeat,
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