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I'm Jewish, so it's not really about Easter, but I had a meltdown about the triplets last night. I am big and pregnant. In fact, I carry in the front, and I'm very big, because for the first 14 weeks of this pregnancy I was carrying triplets. Babies B and C were each the size of avocados when they passed even though they are squished now. But it affected how I look.
And no one will shut up about it. Strangers love to insist that I must be carrying twins. I hear it once a day at least. And at Passover Monday, my cousin Susan WOULD NOT SHUT UP about how I looked like I had multiples in there and she KNOWS **** WELL that I did start out that way. Losing the triplets is NOT A HAPPY MEMORY for me.
And now I am forced to relive it every single day. Last night I flipped out about it. I sat in the shower and apologized to them until the hot water ran out, and then cried about it for an hour with DH.
They're still in there. No one in my life really understands what it's like to carry your two precious lost little ones with you every day for 20 weeks.
Sorry to take over the thread, but absolutely no one understands.
Rebecca, please don't apologize. I wish I had some magic words for you. I know this has been incredibly hard for you, and I feel awful that I don't know how to help..to make it easier for you. If there is anything I can do from afar, let me know.
Thanks to Jaidynsmum for my siggy!
Proud former foster parent to a teen. Waiting on our next call. Proud Aunt to 22.
Proud mommy to 7 angels. Survivor of 4 failed adoptions (5 kids)
I am so sorry Rebecca. I cannot imagine carrying your lost ones for so long. I will be so happy for you when this little guy comes into the world, the pregnancy is over and you can start to live in the now more. When he is here and you can sink your nose into his neck and smell that wonderful baby smell it will help to melt away so much of the pain and sorrow. Hang in there and keep your chin up. Thinking of you.....