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Now that we are married and I have health insurance and can go to the Dr and figure things out, I don't know if I want to. DH asked me when I was going to go, he is excited to be a daddy. I was so excited I was going to be able to go see the Dr and see what is going on and now I almost want to back out.
I guess I am scared to find out something is wrong with me--I'm afraid after I find out what is wrong I will blame myself more...??
I go to OB in Sept, but will wait until next year to go see the RE, I think? I don't know. I'm also afraid of what the RE is going to have to do.
ah hun Im sorry! I can imagine how that would feel.
I didn't get a choice in my testing. my dr wanted to know why at 21, seemingly healthy, no birth control in my system I was having a scary pregnancy that she didn't think would make it. Turns out, everything was fine... was a genetic disorder with the babies.
Dont' blame yourself when you do get answers. What your body does, you most likely cannot control. But, you might be able to get treatment for it, giving you the baby you're hoping for!
TTC #1 together since December 2011
ttc naturally until end of year
May 6th- bfp @ 10dpo ended in a Chemical Pregnancy May 15th @5w1d
Me: Hashi's, PCOS,Multiple miscarriages
Him: MFI low count, low morphology, low motility Vitamins started August 2nd.
I know how you feel all too well. Try not to think about "What if there's something wrong with me?" Think about "If we find something then we can get a plan and hopefully prevent this from happening again!" I know it's easier said than done. If you need me, you know how to reach me. *hugs*
Thanks to Jaidynsmum for my siggy!
Proud former foster parent to a teen. Waiting on our next call. Proud Aunt to 22.
Proud mommy to 7 angels. Survivor of 4 failed adoptions (5 kids)
I remember feeling like that. However, my personality is such that I'm a do-er and if there's something that can be fixed I want it fixed so I can move forward. I have zero regrets with going through the invasive testing and I've pretty much had every test and procedure done under the sun including exploratory surgery, 21 viles of blood at one time, HSG, SHG, Endometrial Biopsies (had 2 done), monthly cycle monitoring (3 times), daily bloodwork done for 2 weeks to monitor hormone levels, daily internal u/s scans for 2 weeks, etc.
At the end of it all it was something with me and nothing that can be fixed (I have a genetic condition) but I don't blame myself. There's nothing I could do, it's apart of the genetic make-up of me and if anything it helped me accept and come to terms with my losses.
Whatever you decide just follow your heart. Fear of the unknown can be scary as you move forward, but so can letting the fear hold you back and giving into it.