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Forum: Recurrent Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss

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  #1  
July 6th, 2010, 10:30 AM
esparando para bebé's Avatar Proud Car Seat Technician
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Do your children know about your losses? How do you help them understand/cope with it?
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  #2  
July 6th, 2010, 12:07 PM
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My girls are young still but once they get older I won't have issues with telling them they have 4 siblings up in heaven. I've also got a memorial garden in the backyard and will tell them about it once they are old enough. If anything, it will show them how much they were wanted and the answer to our earnest prayers.
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  #3  
July 6th, 2010, 04:50 PM
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Mine don't know yet. My older son asks all the time about when we are getting another baby. I will tell him in a few years, especially if we end up not having any more.

Amy
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  #4  
July 6th, 2010, 08:48 PM
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yes they do know. My kids are 12 and 9 now and sadly they have dealt with death on a pretty regular basis most of their life. We've found that in our case the best thing for all of us is to be completely honest and open about it. If they have questions they know that they are free to ask and that we will answer them.

Several times we have bought helium filled balloons and we let them write messages to their angel siblings on them and then we release them so that they "carry the messages to heaven".
They do realize that the balloons don't actually go to heaven, but it does help ALOT.
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  #5  
July 6th, 2010, 09:02 PM
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Yes my kids know but my daughter who is 5 really gets it more than my son who is 3. But we have a special bear for CJ in my room and I have a medium size tattoo on my back with the babies names on them. We don't keep it from them. My DD will draw pictures for Rose (our most recent loss) and say how much she wishes she was here. But she also is sure to mention that its ok because baby Rose is in heaven with God and he is taking good care of her. My DD is amazing. My DS is just a little young to fully understand but sometimes he "gets" it.
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  #6  
July 9th, 2010, 12:00 PM
Happy Song's Avatar Nicole
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Wow that us a good question and a difficult one. Mine are older and at the time of the losses were out of the house and we were embroiled in a huge custody battle. I got my curretn positve pregnancy test and unexpectedly got my son back that friday.

So even though my kids are 9 and 14 I have never really talked to them about it. My 14 year old is a boy adn I think that makes it harder and i honestly think it is a thing they do not need to know as they have their own issues with the whole custody thing.

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  #7  
July 13th, 2010, 04:03 PM
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My oldest is 17 and she has had the hardest time with the losses. Although most of my kids understand and have spent more than a few days in tears. Loss is a part of life and I have tried to help them through what has been new to me too. We get along ok....we just have had to stick together. Kids are so good about things like this...they are simple, they cry and then they laugh again. It's good to glean from them...
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  #8  
July 14th, 2010, 08:00 AM
esparando para bebé's Avatar Proud Car Seat Technician
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I'm liking seeing everyone's answers. We plan on telling future children. We have a quilt I will be hanging in the nursery in memory of the babies and we have some other things in their memory too.
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  #9  
July 16th, 2010, 10:47 AM
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My oldest is 5yo and she knows that I have had babies in my belly that went to heaven before they were ready to be born.

She asks question about them sometimes...especially now that I am pg again...and I am happy to answer them. I let her know that I love all my children...her, Scott, the baby in my belly, and my babies in heaven. She seems to find comfort in that.

I have 3 little silver angels that I hand on the christmas tree every year and she knows that they are for the babies in heaven.

We will DS about it when he is older. Right now he is almost 2 and is just too young to understand.
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  #10  
July 17th, 2010, 04:58 PM
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Both of my children know, and have my oldest daughter Makenzie's photo on each of their night stands. They each do their own special thing for mostly her at holidays and make special items for her grave on her birthday. I think they gravitate more to her because they have pictures to look at. My son was sad about the m/c, but mostly was worried about me. He really would like a little brother now that I am pg again, since he has a little sister.
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