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Forum: Recurrent Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss

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  #1  
September 15th, 2010, 05:33 AM
esparando para bebé's Avatar Proud Car Seat Technician
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How do you feel about someone who knows about your losses and the names you have chosen using the names of your angels when the have their own babies?
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  #2  
September 15th, 2010, 06:07 AM
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I don't know. I would be hurt if the person knew about the name and didn't talk to me about it, privately and sensitively at first.
But I could see myself allowing one of my sisters to use one of my angels' names as a middle name. IF she asked and was clear that a) she loves the name too b) it's to honor my child, not to spite me, and not because she "forgot".
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  #3  
September 15th, 2010, 08:02 AM
ambee's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Honestly, it would bug me. If it's a name that I'd hear all the time (like a sister or something) it would be hard.
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  #4  
September 15th, 2010, 08:09 AM
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I agree...I wouldn't like it.
It would be a constant reminder of what they have & I don't.
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  #5  
September 15th, 2010, 09:08 AM
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I would be very very bothered if someone I knew, who knew my past and the names of my angels, were to use one of their names, unless they talked with me first. To me it feels like a stab in the heart... a "I have a baby and yiou don't" type thing. I would be even more hurt if this same person should understand the feelings.
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  #6  
September 15th, 2010, 09:16 AM
ambee's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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For me it would also depend on if I knew someone had loved the name for a long time. For example, if my sister in law (who doesn't have any children yet) had told me a few years ago that she LOVED the name Sophie and couldn't imagine naming her daughter anything else, AND she talked to me about it first...then I don't think it would bother me as much.

I didn't name any of my early losses though, so I feel like there's only one name I have that people should avoid. There are millions of names out there, how hard could it be to just avoid the one?
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  #7  
September 15th, 2010, 04:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by docsmomma View Post
I would be very very bothered if someone I knew, who knew my past and the names of my angels, were to use one of their names, unless they talked with me first. To me it feels like a stab in the heart... a "I have a baby and yiou don't" type thing. I would be even more hurt if this same person should understand the feelings.

This has been done to me twice now and both times it has really bothered me.
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Proud former foster parent to a teen. Waiting on our next call. Proud Aunt to 22.
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  #8  
September 15th, 2010, 06:22 PM
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DH and I have never named our losses. That being said we do know the names we have picked out for our first born, boy and girl. We have told everyone that the boys name will be Jonas - Joe for short - and my brother named his son Joseph last year, they call him Joe. My brother said he forgot and that ticked me off.
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Kimberly, wife to Jamie
Miscarriage at 10 weeks - February 14, 2009
Miscarriage of twin boys at 11 weeks - September 21, 2009
Chemical pregnancy - January 9, 2010
Miscarriage at 10 weeks - April 21, 2010
Miscarriage at 7 weeks - October 22, 2010
Miscarriage at 10 weeks - May 14, 2011
Miscarriage at 17 weeks - December 7, 2011 (My sweet little Joshua had Achondrogenesis type 2)
Miscarriage at 5 weeks - June 5, 2013

All test results normal. Reason for RPL unknown.

Annabel born healthy at 35 weeks - May 22, 2014
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  #9  
September 15th, 2010, 07:28 PM
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It happened to me. My brother and sis-in- law used TWO of my angel's names for each of their sons. Imagine the gasp of air escaping my lungs when I heard about it. Their reply " I didn't think you would care, not like you are ACTUALLY using it" , this from the same woman who stated " If you would have been doing what you were supposed to you wouldn't have angels"

Can you tell she is NOT my favorite person - evil b**ch
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  #10  
September 16th, 2010, 09:01 AM
ambee's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by austinmommy3 View Post
It happened to me. My brother and sis-in- law used TWO of my angel's names for each of their sons. Imagine the gasp of air escaping my lungs when I heard about it. Their reply " I didn't think you would care, not like you are ACTUALLY using it" , this from the same woman who stated " If you would have been doing what you were supposed to you wouldn't have angels"

Can you tell she is NOT my favorite person - evil b**ch
OMG Staci, I am seriously shaking with anger for you! That just makes me sick.
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  #11  
September 16th, 2010, 11:15 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by austinmommy3 View Post
It happened to me. My brother and sis-in- law used TWO of my angel's names for each of their sons. Imagine the gasp of air escaping my lungs when I heard about it. Their reply " I didn't think you would care, not like you are ACTUALLY using it" , this from the same woman who stated " If you would have been doing what you were supposed to you wouldn't have angels"

Can you tell she is NOT my favorite person - evil b**ch
OMG she deserves a few Howlers... (from Harry Potter)
She does sound evil. Does your brother know she SAID that to you?
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  #12  
September 16th, 2010, 04:42 PM
austinmommy3's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mommy_waiting_for_baby View Post
OMG she deserves a few Howlers... (from Harry Potter)
She does sound evil. Does your brother know she SAID that to you?

Yep, he was standing right there. They are self absorbed materialistic a**hats. My brother wanted children, she didn't. So she got a Benz Suv for having the first one and a disgustingly huge house for the second one. I don't really associate with them, my family forces it one holiday a year. Bleh...
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  #13  
September 17th, 2010, 02:25 AM
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If angel #1 was a boy he was going to be Aiden. At the same time a student of mine just had a cousin born who was named Aiden. It was really painful every time he spoke of his cousin.

Quote:
Originally Posted by austinmommy3 View Post
It happened to me. My brother and sis-in- law used TWO of my angel's names for each of their sons. Imagine the gasp of air escaping my lungs when I heard about it. Their reply " I didn't think you would care, not like you are ACTUALLY using it" , this from the same woman who stated " If you would have been doing what you were supposed to you wouldn't have angels"

Can you tell she is NOT my favorite person - evil b**ch
I would not have been responsible for my actions... I am so sorry.
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  #14  
September 17th, 2010, 07:58 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Soleil View Post
If angel #1 was a boy he was going to be Aiden. At the same time a student of mine just had a cousin born who was named Aiden. It was really painful every time he spoke of his cousin.



I would not have been responsible for my actions... I am so sorry.

Thanks, my only solace( and this is where the evil side of me comes out), their children are so ill behaved and ill mannered that no one wants to be around them. My oldest nephew has been kicked out of at least two private schools and my youngest nephew (who is 1) has been asked to leave three different preschools. Everyone goes on and on about how polite, mannerly, and well behaved my children are, and just can't believe my nephews are in the same family. I am from the south and manners and well behaved children are a biggie, plus the fact I dislike rude, sassy children ( one of my pet peeves)
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