Log In Sign Up

I am so glad this board is here


Forum: Recurrent Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Recurrent Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
June 20th, 2006, 06:08 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 2,667
lizard, what you mentioned about people not understanding those of us with multiple losses really struck a nerve with me. Women just getting pregnant for the first or second time have no idea what it's like to be pregnant 4-5-6 times and lose most, if not all of their babies. As the losses add up, my expectations have dropped with each pregnancy. I really identified with what you said about getting the BFP is just the beginning of the road for you.

I am lucky too because I have two great kids, but since my second I have had 4 miscarriages in a row. When I got pregnant with my 3rd "angel" I was under the care of a fertility doctor. He knew what I was up against, but all the girls (and I mean GIRLS) in his office were congratulating me and going on and going on and I said "Save it until I'm on the way to the delivery room." Then I miscarried, and I called them and they said "Well, it's probably all right. Sometimes you bleed a little" as I was passing clots and staring at a pregnancy test with a fading line. I know it's their job to be helpful and positive, but sometimes it's too much.

I think it's great to have a forum for multiple losses. I have a good friend who has had 7 miscarriages, 1 full-term stillbirth, and one DD (who is real gem!). I feel like she is the only one who understands what I'm going through, and I'm glad now to know more people who are in the same boat. I feel safe to talk here, because none of you are going to say something heart-wrenching, because you've heard it all before too.
__________________




Reply With Quote
  #2  
June 20th, 2006, 06:40 PM
srs srs is offline
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 2,421
I totally understand about the lowered expectations. I wonder if we are getting more isolated as medicine improves, because people no longer have the expectation that not all their babies will make it (and I guess more do make it now). The only people who were worried with me while I was pg this last time were DH and his grandmother. We all kept saying, "Well, if this one makes it..." while everyone else said, "So which room is going to be for the baby?" I can't imagine how your friend with 7 mcs and a stillbirth must feel.

Quote:
I feel safe to talk here, because none of you are going to say something heart-wrenching, because you've heard it all before too.[/b]
I acually thought about telling a coworker I don't know very well about my losses just so he'd leave me alone today. I figured it would probably just shut him up, and if it didn't, there probably wasn't anything he could say to me that I hadn't already heard.
__________________
Sara

Need Breastfeeding Support?





Reply With Quote
  #3  
June 20th, 2006, 06:47 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 2,667
I kept saying almost the same thing "If this one hangs in there..." I used it to finish every sentence. "We'll have to move DD and DS to the same room for a while...if this one hangs in there." "I guess we won't get to go anywhere for Christmas this year...if this one hangs in there."
__________________




Reply With Quote
  #4  
June 21st, 2006, 07:13 PM
Kiwi*Mummie*of*4's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 3,818
Quote:
I kept saying almost the same thing "If this one hangs in there..." I used it to finish every sentence. "We'll have to move DD and DS to the same room for a while...if this one hangs in there." "I guess we won't get to go anywhere for Christmas this year...if this one hangs in there."[/b]
I find myself saying the same thing. This baby is due in Jan my father in law is coming over in jan from scotland and I find myself saying well if all goes well and we end up having the baby he wil see her/him. Or is this one hangs in there then we will have a jan baby. Its hard even when you get pregnant again after a misscarrage I still panic at every pain or niggle and people around are like "oh you will be fine" well hello how do they know I have already lost two babies and some of them who have known me that long said the same thing with those angel babies to.
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #5  
October 21st, 2008, 09:05 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Northern Colorado
Posts: 2,423
I thought this would be great one to bump.
__________________



visit my blog Rhondas random thoughts
Reply With Quote
  #6  
October 21st, 2008, 09:16 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,708
WOW!!! Yes...I imagine all of us could have written these exact posts.

I am now pg for the 6th time. 4 m/c's and 1 Living DD. I wish I could have the joy of these ladies....I remember the first pg that I had, how excited I was. I finally got that way w/Syd when I was about 20w. These last 3 pg...not so much. We do not tell anyone that we are pg. Just keep it to ourselves....
__________________
4 Angels in Heaven - March 2005, January 2006, January 2008, August 2008

Stella Rae - May 22, 2009, 7lb 3oz, 20in and 4 weeks early!!!

Reply With Quote
  #7  
October 24th, 2008, 09:22 AM
starrsgirl's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Nebraska
Posts: 4,233
Thanks for this board. Just reading all this support has been amazing to me. I'm still in the grieving process and scared to even think about trying again. But you all offer a lot of hope.
__________________
Liz, Mom to Emmett and Ewan

Missing 2 little beans (Aug 07, Oct 08)
Blog (Running with Emmett)

Reply With Quote
  #8  
October 25th, 2008, 02:13 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 835
It's so funny how different RPL ladies see things. The BFP is just the beginnig. It's no longer something to get thrilled over. It definately doesn't mean there will be a baby in my arms in 9 months.
__________________
Nicole
Me: 33
DH: 32

TTC 3/07
m/c - 7/29/07 (5w4d)
m/c - 10/8/07 (6w4d)
m/c - 2/27/08 (11w5d)
m/c - 6/20/08 (7w2d)
9/08 - IVF w/ PGD: Cycle cancelled, not enough mature follies
10/08 - IVF w/ PGD: Cycle cancelled, ovulated on my own
12/08 - IVF w/ PGD: BFP!
Owen Royce...born August 28, 2009

1/10 IVF w/ PGD: 1 egg fertilized, so no PGD
1/30/10 Transferred in one embryo
2/13/10 - BFP!
Georgia Elle...born October 15, 2010




Reply With Quote
  #9  
October 25th, 2008, 07:23 PM
DawnN's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: IL
Posts: 4,517
I think that this is a post that anyone who's experienced multiple losses can relate to. thank you for bumping.
__________________
Married 8/11/90 ~ Terry Bechor m/c'd 11/26/03, Thomas A. III m/c'd 7/15/04,
Sarah E. born 6/24/05, Tabitha Zipporah m/c'd 4/?/06, Theodore David m/c'd 8/27/06,
Taylor Lynn m/c'd 2/07/07, Benjamin E. born 3/25/08, Catherine A. born 6/03/09


Reply With Quote
  #10  
October 27th, 2008, 09:12 AM
Regular
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 12
I thought this was a wonderful post...it almost angers me sometimes, because people that haven't been through this have no CLUE how hard it is. My sister-in-law gets so jealous every time I find out I'm pregnant, because they have been trying for some time & have been unable to conceive. It makes me so mad....just becuase I'm pregnant doesn't mean I'm going to have a baby. I'm losing my 4th baby as I type this....the 1st pregnancy I didn't know i was pregnant, so the loss wasn't as hard. THe 2nd I was SO excited, and it was horrible losing the baby. THe 3rd time I was still very hopeful, and it nearly broke me when I lost the baby. This time I had so much hesitation in even letting myself be excited.....people that haven't experienced this don't know what it's like.....what it's like to actually be pregnant & you can't even get excited about it. You can't be NORMAL. You can't start picking out baby names or baby stuff because you don't know that you'll make it that far.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
November 17th, 2008, 08:22 AM
esparando para bebé's Avatar Proud Car Seat Technician
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 19,613
Send a message via AIM to esparando para bebé Send a message via Yahoo to esparando para bebé
Bumping again. I agree this is something we can all relate too. I have had two (possibly three) losses. While there is the slightest, tiniest bit of excitement that comes with each BFP, there is more sadness, denial, and doubt.
__________________

Thanks to Jaidynsmum for my siggy!
Proud former foster parent to a teen. Waiting on our next call. Proud Aunt to 22.
Proud mommy to 7 angels. Survivor of 4 failed adoptions (5 kids)
Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:33 AM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0