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DH & I just got back on Saturday from a resort in Cuba (I love being Canadian when it comes to cheap vacations!). The resort was filled with French Canadians and British tourists, but there was a small group of us from Ontario. Despite the mosquitos (aka...the "unofficial" animal of Ontario) and the bland food, we had a great time. We spent our mornings on the beach (complete with white powder sand and crystal clear turquoise water), and our afternoons at the pool. I love all-inclusive resorts!
My original due date was June 24th and I told DH I didn't want to be around for it so we booked a last minute holiday and hopped a plane and escaped for a week. Now I'm back to reality though and it's starting to hit me that not only did my due date come and go but I've also lost a 2nd baby a month before my due date.
It was nice to forget our worries and to be honest...I hate to admit this but last week I never once thought about my 2 losses or any other worries for that matter. I promised myself to try to have fun because everything will still be here when I get back. On one hand I feel bad for having a good time and on the other hand I really needed the mental break.
Everything is just starting to sink in now. I'm scared. Scared to attempt to TTC again; scared that I will lose another baby; scared to make any plans for the future; scared to think that we'll never have any kids. Why does this have to happen and to people that want a baby so badly. I hate how life can seem so unfair and I never seem to find out any answers.
I have a doctors appointment on Wed. afternoon but I doubt I'll find out what caused the m/c in the first place. I'm waiting for my 1st AF arrive since my m/c and the waiting is driving me nuts. I know it can take anywhere from 4-8 weeks and it's only been a month but I hate waiting.
I'm glad you got to take time for a vacation and to truly enjoy yourself. Try not to feel guilty about having fun, because that's an important part of your healing process. (I know, it's hard, I'm only a few days behind you on the second loss.)
Try not to focus/worry about everything all at once. I'm learning that if I can choose one thing to worry about or try to find answers for at a time, that I'm a lot more sane and less likely to fall apart at the drop of a hat. And we'll be here for you. I'm waiting for my first AF, too, and am terrified about it - even started a separate post I'm so scared. But it's all just part of the process and we'll make it through.
Do not sorrow; the joy of the Lord is your strength." Neh. 8:10