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Anyone's DH suddenly not want to TTC?


Forum: Recurrent Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss

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  #1  
October 13th, 2011, 05:41 PM
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So after 2 years of faithfully delivering the goods when needed, and even asking me when I'm ovulating, etc., my DH suddenly doesn't want a baby "right now". He even said he never was ready and was only trying for my sake. Umm yeah right. He constantly asked when am I ovulating, etc etc. And he was so happy all three times that I was pregnant. And now he says he's not ready and never was?

But I swear.. I even tested him last night, saying I'll go back on the pill, but he doesn't want me to do that.

Any other SOs do a 180 like that after losses?
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  #2  
October 14th, 2011, 11:01 AM
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Yep. I think that they do it because they are scared. They don't want us to hurt anymore...they don't want to hurt anymore, and they are clueless (just like us) at how to go about fixing it. Most men are naturally protectors. When they are in a situation where they cannot protect those they care about, they panic, and most often end up acting like a complete idiot.

Give him a little time, and try to get him to talk. Men don't usually enjoy talking about their feelings because they are taught that they need to be strong for us, so they don't know how to handle the pain they are feeling too. if you can get him to open up, you can work together to determine what is best for the two of you.
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  #3  
October 14th, 2011, 11:12 AM
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My DH said no more after our second loss. He couldn't put me through the pain of another loss and our family. It just hurt to much and he couldn't stop it other than not giving the goods . Give him time. Almost a year after our second loss we did get pregnant again. And this time it stuck. She is now asleep on my chest.
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  #4  
October 14th, 2011, 12:32 PM
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Not yet, but if we have future losses I can see him saying that.
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  #5  
October 14th, 2011, 01:56 PM
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I agree with the others. I think it's a fear (and pain) thing. It's not that they don't want a baby, it's just that they don't want another loss.
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  #6  
October 24th, 2011, 04:01 PM
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Thanks guys!
I was away on vacation and just came back yesterday.. and to my surprise, today he said he wanted to try again. I'm happy but confused too, and scared. In any case, the RE wants us to wait until we get the complete test results back from my last D&C before the TTC again. I'm going to see her this weekend because I need a synthroid refill. I assume they would have called me if they got the results but I'll ask anyways.
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