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Forum: Recurrent Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss

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  #1  
October 20th, 2011, 10:25 AM
Mega Super Mommy
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does it kind of rub anyone else wrong when people just leave us and never come back to update us???

And yes I do know how stupid it sounds....
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  #2  
October 20th, 2011, 10:32 AM
geogeek's Avatar Marsi's Mommy
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It has been hard for me to come back and update because I don't want to rub my baby in people's face...another stupid assumption I know. I check in here all the time and love stalking people from here.
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  #3  
October 20th, 2011, 11:24 AM
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I can understand that, but you still pop in and update. We def don't need day-to-days from everyone, but it would be nice if ladies shared the good things going on in their lives. Some ladies come here, get what they want, and you never see/hear from them again.
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  #4  
October 20th, 2011, 11:49 AM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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It is hard, and I don't know about augie, but it makes me feel like I somehow failed as a host because it's my job to get people to come and post....

But after two failing Grad threads... yeah.. it hurts
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  #5  
October 20th, 2011, 07:14 PM
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I think it's that people feel one of two ways.

a) That they don't want to "rub it in"
b) That they no longer need the support.

I've tried repeatedly to tell people that WE need the support. We need to see those babies and remember there's hope. Sadly, nothing seems to work though.
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  #6  
October 20th, 2011, 09:45 PM
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I should check in more often... I'm sorry that I don't. At first I didn't want to rub it in... when I was TTC the LAST thing I ever wanted to hear about was other people's pregnancies and babies. I know that's selfish and stupid but I just could not handle it.

Later I stopped posting here because it brought up old pain that I was too exhausted to handle with newborn twins. It was a Maslow's hierarchy of needs thing.

But I explained most of this a while back, and I was assured it was ok to keep posting here. And I do, partially because this board was my home for so long, but also because I need it - just because I have babies now doesn't mean the pain is gone. It's a lot better, but it still surfaces. I really miss my twin boys most of all. And it helps me to give support and to share my feelings here.

I do hope it's ok to keep posting here. Please let me know if it's not, seriously I won't be offended.
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8/5/08 Beautiful twin girls Leigh and Lucy born after 4-year struggle with RPL & 6 losses
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Last edited by LisaB; October 20th, 2011 at 09:51 PM.
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  #7  
October 21st, 2011, 07:58 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaB View Post
I should check in more often... I'm sorry that I don't. At first I didn't want to rub it in... when I was TTC the LAST thing I ever wanted to hear about was other people's pregnancies and babies. I know that's selfish and stupid but I just could not handle it.

Later I stopped posting here because it brought up old pain that I was too exhausted to handle with newborn twins. It was a Maslow's hierarchy of needs thing.

But I explained most of this a while back, and I was assured it was ok to keep posting here. And I do, partially because this board was my home for so long, but also because I need it - just because I have babies now doesn't mean the pain is gone. It's a lot better, but it still surfaces. I really miss my twin boys most of all. And it helps me to give support and to share my feelings here.

I do hope it's ok to keep posting here. Please let me know if it's not, seriously I won't be offended.
Lisa, it is absolutely wonderful that want to keep posting here. We WANT you to post here. Personally, I need to be reminded that there can still be hope.
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  #8  
October 21st, 2011, 08:43 AM
geogeek's Avatar Marsi's Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Augie View Post
Personally, I need to be reminded that there can still be hope.
This is the reason why I continue to post here. I feel the need to grieve my losses and support others. I love that we can turn the siggy off when I post on the loss posts. It breaks my heart. You ladies helped me through 3 of my losses. Even my family doesn't support me as well as you ladies. You know that the baby I am carrying now will never replace the babies that should have been here before...they think I should forget and be happy with Marsi. I can't.
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  #9  
October 21st, 2011, 08:45 AM
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guilty.

But I do lurk.
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  #10  
October 21st, 2011, 04:53 PM
somo_chickenlady's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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It is nice to know there are other people out there that know what I'm going through, and it is a good sounding board for when I'm feeling really down, but I honestly don't know what I have to add to other people. Especially since my rpl were so long ago.
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  #11  
October 21st, 2011, 05:00 PM
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Sam! *pounce* How've you been???

Kara, your new screenname caught me off-guard. We're here anytime you need us. Feel free to post as often (or as infrequently) as you need.
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  #12  
October 21st, 2011, 05:03 PM
somo_chickenlady's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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LOL Sorry about that! I just felt like a change.
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  #13  
October 23rd, 2011, 05:34 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MountainMomma View Post
I haven't posted much (or on a regular basis at all) in a very long time. Mostly because I have been so down that I don't want to bring others down too. I just get so angry and so depressed that I can't be supportive to anyone. When I can be supportive, I try to come by and offer support.

We aren't TTC anymore, and I am not completely ready to admit that I am done so ....... well, that's why I am not here much.
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  #14  
October 23rd, 2011, 05:49 AM
geogeek's Avatar Marsi's Mommy
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Stephanie, I am so saddened to hear this.
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  #15  
October 23rd, 2011, 12:59 PM
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I haven't posted much (or on a regular basis at all) in a very long time. Mostly because I have been so down that I don't want to bring others down too. I just get so angry and so depressed that I can't be supportive to anyone. When I can be supportive, I try to come by and offer support.

We aren't TTC anymore, and I am not completely ready to admit that I am done so ....... well, that's why I am not here much.
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  #16  
October 23rd, 2011, 11:28 PM
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I can understand why it would be hard for some.... I know coming on the loss boards just brings a wave of emotions back that I thought I was over already...

Maybe that is why some people don't come back???

Stephanie - I am so sorry to hear that
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Last edited by ~Tanya~; October 23rd, 2011 at 11:31 PM.
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  #17  
October 24th, 2011, 02:32 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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*HUGS* steph.
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~TTC #1 together 2 years and counting ~


Awesome siggy made by Jaidynsmum
Matthew&Mark 08/24/2005 9w1d, Mattie Anne 04/07/2008 8w Mel|&Dee 01/19/2010 (8 weeks) and 5 chemical pregnancies
Hope 07/22/2012@4w1d, Konnor 11/24/2012@3w6d,"Emmy"1/15/2013@ 3w6d, Ronen 02/10/2013@3w5d, Joy 07/19/2013@3w6d, "Pea" 09/06/2013@ 3w3d

Me: Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, PCOS, Insulin resistant
175mcg Synthyroid, 1500mg Metformin
Him: MFI low count, low morphology, low motillity
Seeing MFI specialist/RE in 2015
Attempting vitamins for remainder of 2014
Weight loss goal #1 - 10% body weight 23.4lbs - accomplished July 13 2014
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  #18  
October 24th, 2011, 04:04 PM
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I like grads around because they do offer hope, and also if they have info that they can share regarding medical issues they discovered, that helps also
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  #19  
October 24th, 2011, 05:43 PM
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I've been awful about posting, I know. I lurk often, but I had the whole rub-it-in-your-face issue, as well as a TON of scares about how my pregnancy would continue. The end was very scary for me, and I really didn't want to tell many people because I didn't want the gushing crazy focus to be on me :/

Also, Meagan, there are a few members of our DDC that I didn't really want to be able to look at my post history and see things I posted here. There was/is a LOT I didn't want to share with a few members.
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  #20  
October 24th, 2011, 07:24 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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Hugs ladies. I hope I didn't sound ignorant with the original post.

I can understand where a lot of you are coming from. There is one lady who was a VERY active member, who just left, and I seen she had some amazing news I wished she would have came to share with us. Another one, who was pretty active, also has news, well two. But I can understand how they would feel like they were "rubbing" it in faces. I just remember when I first came to this board, there were days I enjoyed reading about success. *shrugs*

Nicole, I boycotted Nov DDC, too much drama!
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