Log In Sign Up

I am having a really awful day...


Forum: Recurrent Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Recurrent Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
October 20th, 2011, 04:10 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 26,364
Send a message via MSN to plan4fate
and I don't know where else I can spill to. It's not directly rpl related, but like everything in my life, it always lurks there in the shadows.

I'm super homesick. I've never gone with out seeing my family for more than 45 days. I haven't seen them in six months. I turned 28 almost a week ago, Tori's and my grandfather's birthdays are tomorrow. I get a birrage of cards in the mail, but mom's hit me the hardest because she sent me a check so I could go buy myself something. I.Cant.Cash.It. I'd lost most of it in fees and exchange rate.

Add to that We've still not filed my immigration because our marriage certificate hasn't arrived. We're moving OUT of the town with the lawyer which makes it even harder to file. I hate being here in limbo wondering what the heck is going to happen. And since we'll be among his family, who don't know we're married, I have to go back into hiding.. and I'm sick of hiding! Saturday is the last day I will be able to wear my ring until January. *cries*

I'm flipping sick. Kidney stone is gone thank Goodness, but now I've got a wicked cold and we can't figure out where I got it from since I don't see anyone but DH who's not sick.... Stuffy nose, sore throat, losing my voice and I have a cough coming on. Anytime I get sick, I want my mom (this is an irrational desire, since she didn't coddle or baby me when I was sick growing up), which increases my homesickness.

And to top it all off.. my cycle isn't regular after coming off the pill. I've never had that happen to me before except for when I was on the nuvaring (which about ruined me). I'm more normal than then, but according to my charts.. I've not Ovulated. Alright fine, what ever. But I'm spotting. Af isn't due for about a week. This will make two cycles where I've had blood for two weeks... and to top it off, I hate charting. I don't trust it since my body obviously never knows what to do.. and we have no other options right now. So like every other thing in my life.. it brings worry that I'm going to get pregnant and have another loss.

Why, just for one freaking year, can I not have a normal worry free life? I don't think that's too much to ask anymore.. I've already done my fair share of this and I've barely started to live my real life.

** Im making my husband buy me softer tissue tonight, cause between the cold and the tears my nose hurts

/Rant
__________________
~TTC #1 together 2 years and counting ~


Awesome siggy made by Jaidynsmum
Matthew&Mark 08/24/2005 9w1d, Mattie Anne 04/07/2008 8w Mel&Dee 01/19/2010 (8 weeks) and 5 chemical pregnancies
Hope 07/22/2012@4w1d, Konnor 11/24/2012@3w6d,"Emmy"1/15/2013@ 3w6d, Ronen 02/10/2013@3w5d, Joy 07/19/2013@3w6d, "Pea" 09/06/2013@ 3w3d

Me: Hashi's, PCOS, Insulin resistant, Adenomyosis and Polyps.
175mcg Synthyroid, 1500mg Metformin
Colposcopy = CIN1+CIN2 cells
D&C/Hysterscopy/Polypectomy - August 21st - Follow up Sept 4
Him: MFI low count, low morphology, low motillity
Seeing MFI specialist/RE in 2015. Vitamins started August 2nd
Weight loss goal #1 - 10% body weight 23.4lbs - accomplished July 13 2014

Last edited by plan4fate; October 20th, 2011 at 04:14 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
October 20th, 2011, 05:19 PM
Addaboy's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Near Cleveland, OH
Posts: 372
I'm sorry. I hope everything turns around for you. Being sick really makes things so much worse. Hope your better soon.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #3  
October 20th, 2011, 07:12 PM
esparando para bebé's Avatar Proud Car Seat Technician
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 19,613
Send a message via AIM to esparando para bebé Send a message via Yahoo to esparando para bebé
Ash. Sorry you're having a rough day and missing home.
__________________

Thanks to Jaidynsmum for my siggy!
Proud former foster parent to a teen. Waiting on our next call. Proud Aunt to 22.
Proud mommy to 7 angels. Survivor of 4 failed adoptions (5 kids)
Reply With Quote
  #4  
October 20th, 2011, 09:58 PM
LisaB's Avatar Mom to twins + 1
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Carmel, CA
Posts: 5,872
Send a message via Yahoo to LisaB
((((HUGS)))) I hope you're feeling better soon and I hope that your family situation improves. May I ask why January? Please KUP!
__________________


Me: Lisa, Mommy to twins +1
8/5/08 Beautiful twin girls Leigh and Lucy born after 4-year struggle with RPL & 6 losses
12/10/09 Surprise! Baby #3 is on the way, EDD 6/22/10

12/29/09 2nd ultrasound - joining team blue

6/16/10 Baby Ben is born!


Reply With Quote
  #5  
October 20th, 2011, 10:25 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 26,364
Send a message via MSN to plan4fate
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaB View Post
((((HUGS)))) I hope you're feeling better soon and I hope that your family situation improves. May I ask why January? Please KUP!
My husband is from Wisconsin. Wisconsin has a 6 month wait period after divorce for remarriage. We bypassed that by going to another state. But until my immigration paperwork starts to process, if anyone wanted to get petty all they'd have to do is call and report me as an illegal alien since my visitors permit is technically expired and marrying a citizen isn't a guarantee of citizenship. Just a fast track way.

So, we've not told his family we're married. Right now we're 45 minutes away, and I just slip my band off the night before we have to go see them. But we're moving in with his cousin... so I have to hide the rings so they don't find out and tell his ex. In January we move to another job site where we'll see no one, so I can put it back on then.

I get why he's paranoid, but at this point I don't give a flying squirrel. They don't even know we plan on getting married next summer... he hasn't told any of them yet... He shows me off like I'm a prized puppy, but at the same time, I feel like a little hidden secret because we've got to tip toe so freaking much. It's not that he's afraid anyone close to him (his direct family or his ex) would report me, but who's to say someone else who hears the news won't feel "outraged" on his ex's behalf and do it... Being deported could permenantly ruin my chances of getting to come to the US, and would cost us tens of thousands of dollars... which despite the good money he makes, we just don't have laying around (It only costs about $4000 to do it the way we're doing it, and almost half that is lawyer fees)

10 more days and I can apply for our certificate. Two weeks from today we should have enough in savings to contact a lawyer for my immigration, three weeks for sure. If we can get it started before Thanksgiving, I think we're announcing our "engagement then" and he'll own up to us being married once I have my green card.


It's a long and complex story I know. And this is the easy route to being able to stay here. If we'd have done it the other way it'd have cost us closer to ten thousand dollars and we'd have been apart the whole time. Shouldn't be this hard to be with the person you love.
__________________
~TTC #1 together 2 years and counting ~


Awesome siggy made by Jaidynsmum
Matthew&Mark 08/24/2005 9w1d, Mattie Anne 04/07/2008 8w Mel&Dee 01/19/2010 (8 weeks) and 5 chemical pregnancies
Hope 07/22/2012@4w1d, Konnor 11/24/2012@3w6d,"Emmy"1/15/2013@ 3w6d, Ronen 02/10/2013@3w5d, Joy 07/19/2013@3w6d, "Pea" 09/06/2013@ 3w3d

Me: Hashi's, PCOS, Insulin resistant, Adenomyosis and Polyps.
175mcg Synthyroid, 1500mg Metformin
Colposcopy = CIN1+CIN2 cells
D&C/Hysterscopy/Polypectomy - August 21st - Follow up Sept 4
Him: MFI low count, low morphology, low motillity
Seeing MFI specialist/RE in 2015. Vitamins started August 2nd
Weight loss goal #1 - 10% body weight 23.4lbs - accomplished July 13 2014

Last edited by plan4fate; October 20th, 2011 at 10:27 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
October 21st, 2011, 02:50 AM
geogeek's Avatar Marsi's Mommy
Join Date: May 2009
Location: In yonder mountains
Posts: 9,339
I know how bad immigration is...DH and I had to go through it and did so without lawyers. It took us almost 5 years and thousands of dollars to get him citizenship. I wouldn't wish the immigration process on anyone! We then had to fight to keep his parents in country because they overstayed their visitors visa. Heaven forbid they live close to their only child! Sorry sore subject for me.
__________________


Thank you *kiliki* for my beautiful siggy!

Reply With Quote
  #7  
October 21st, 2011, 06:57 AM
LisaB's Avatar Mom to twins + 1
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Carmel, CA
Posts: 5,872
Send a message via Yahoo to LisaB
Wow that's so tough! Seems like you're going through enough without having to deal with all these immigration hurdles, too. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger right? At least you're almost there now!

I don't know... if it were me I'd consider have another wedding and not tell anyone you were already married. That way you get to have a 2nd wedding and not hurt anyone's feelings. At least that's how I'd justify having a 2nd wedding.
__________________


Me: Lisa, Mommy to twins +1
8/5/08 Beautiful twin girls Leigh and Lucy born after 4-year struggle with RPL & 6 losses
12/10/09 Surprise! Baby #3 is on the way, EDD 6/22/10

12/29/09 2nd ultrasound - joining team blue

6/16/10 Baby Ben is born!


Reply With Quote
  #8  
October 21st, 2011, 09:42 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Illinois
Posts: 1,555
I am sorry so much is going on
__________________


Reply With Quote
  #9  
October 21st, 2011, 10:00 AM
Halloween81's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 1,236
I'm sorry your having such a rough time. I hope you're able to get the lawyer sooner rather than later and everything with immigration gets settled. I also hope your cold gets better soon.
__________________
Kimberly, wife to Jamie
Miscarriage at 10 weeks - February 14, 2009
Miscarriage of twin boys at 11 weeks - September 21, 2009
Chemical pregnancy - January 9, 2010
Miscarriage at 10 weeks - April 21, 2010
Miscarriage at 7 weeks - October 22, 2010
Miscarriage at 10 weeks - May 14, 2011
Miscarriage at 17 weeks - December 7, 2011 (My sweet little Joshua had Achondrogenesis type 2)
Miscarriage at 5 weeks - June 5, 2013

All test results normal. Reason for RPL unknown.

Annabel born healthy at 35 weeks - May 22, 2014
Reply With Quote
  #10  
October 21st, 2011, 01:09 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 26,364
Send a message via MSN to plan4fate
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaB View Post
Wow that's so tough! Seems like you're going through enough without having to deal with all these immigration hurdles, too. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger right? At least you're almost there now!

I don't know... if it were me I'd consider have another wedding and not tell anyone you were already married. That way you get to have a 2nd wedding and not hurt anyone's feelings. At least that's how I'd justify having a 2nd wedding.
Well, they have to be told, since if they do come to the 2nd wedding my family already knows it's not our first and it's likely someone's going to spill the beans. But it's not likely even one of them will come. Second wedding is being done in Canada. He honestly didn't care if anyone showed up from his family, they were there for his first, and it's only fair we go to my family since this is my first.

I'm just worried if we don't get the papers started soon, we're not going to get the quick processing and my papers won't arrive before our wedding (aug 11 2012) and then we'll be out even more money because we can't go get married. Just so much stress on one very sick little person
__________________
~TTC #1 together 2 years and counting ~


Awesome siggy made by Jaidynsmum
Matthew&Mark 08/24/2005 9w1d, Mattie Anne 04/07/2008 8w Mel&Dee 01/19/2010 (8 weeks) and 5 chemical pregnancies
Hope 07/22/2012@4w1d, Konnor 11/24/2012@3w6d,"Emmy"1/15/2013@ 3w6d, Ronen 02/10/2013@3w5d, Joy 07/19/2013@3w6d, "Pea" 09/06/2013@ 3w3d

Me: Hashi's, PCOS, Insulin resistant, Adenomyosis and Polyps.
175mcg Synthyroid, 1500mg Metformin
Colposcopy = CIN1+CIN2 cells
D&C/Hysterscopy/Polypectomy - August 21st - Follow up Sept 4
Him: MFI low count, low morphology, low motillity
Seeing MFI specialist/RE in 2015. Vitamins started August 2nd
Weight loss goal #1 - 10% body weight 23.4lbs - accomplished July 13 2014

Last edited by plan4fate; October 21st, 2011 at 01:12 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
October 21st, 2011, 05:12 PM
somo_chickenlady's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Bradleyville, MO
Posts: 3,277


I'm so sorry you are having such a hard time. I go through those days also. I understand your feelings about missing your family. We moved 8 hours away from both of our families 6 months ago and I REALLY miss them. Well, I miss DH's family anyway. We moved to get away from my family. My MIL, FIL, our niece, and her boyfriend just came to visit us last weekend, and I have been really bummed out all week b/c I miss them so much and didn't want them to leave. The weekend went too fast. I have had a REALLY hard time keeping up with posting on my board since they left.

I hope your marriage certificate arrives soon, and you start to feel better.
__________________


Click on my blinkies!!



**thank you SO much to tasha_mae for my beautiful siggy
and to CupcakeJamie and Niamh ૐ for my blinkies!!**
Reply With Quote
  #12  
October 21st, 2011, 07:29 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 26,364
Send a message via MSN to plan4fate
Thanks Kara.

DH mentioned today that if we can't get married next summer due to immigration (we'll know for sure in December if we'll be finished processing by then) then maybe if I wanted to work full time from January to June then we could think about TTC instead of waiting until next year because the wedding would be smack dab in the middle of it.

So that improved my mood a lot, and now I'm considering hoping that they tell me a year processing.. I'd looove to ttc!
__________________
~TTC #1 together 2 years and counting ~


Awesome siggy made by Jaidynsmum
Matthew&Mark 08/24/2005 9w1d, Mattie Anne 04/07/2008 8w Mel&Dee 01/19/2010 (8 weeks) and 5 chemical pregnancies
Hope 07/22/2012@4w1d, Konnor 11/24/2012@3w6d,"Emmy"1/15/2013@ 3w6d, Ronen 02/10/2013@3w5d, Joy 07/19/2013@3w6d, "Pea" 09/06/2013@ 3w3d

Me: Hashi's, PCOS, Insulin resistant, Adenomyosis and Polyps.
175mcg Synthyroid, 1500mg Metformin
Colposcopy = CIN1+CIN2 cells
D&C/Hysterscopy/Polypectomy - August 21st - Follow up Sept 4
Him: MFI low count, low morphology, low motillity
Seeing MFI specialist/RE in 2015. Vitamins started August 2nd
Weight loss goal #1 - 10% body weight 23.4lbs - accomplished July 13 2014
Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:41 PM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0