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Forum: Recurrent Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss

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  #1  
October 22nd, 2011, 10:40 AM
esparando para bebé's Avatar Proud Car Seat Technician
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I feel like I've lost all hope lately. Do you feel like you have any hope left? What kinds of things do you do when you hit a rut like the one I'm in?
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  #2  
October 22nd, 2011, 11:19 AM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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I do have hope. All my life I've seemed to have an endless supply of it. I'm not an optimistic person, I don't hold things high on a pedestal. But I do fine silver linings in just about anything (not saying rpl happening is a good thing!!!).


When I'm in a rut like you, I go find someone who's lost hope and hold out a little of it for them. It will slowly pull me back into my comfort zone and I go from there.
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Me: Hashi's, PCOS, Insulin resistant, Multiple miscarriages
175mcg Synthyroid, 1500mg Metformin
Colposcopy = CIN1+CIN2 cells Polypectomy - August 21st
Him: MFI low count, low morphology, low motillity
Seeing MFI specialist/RE in 2015. Vitamins started August 2nd
Trying a few cycles of clomid and progesterone. FX this is all it takes.
Cycle 1: Clomid cd3-7 ~ bfn
Cycle 2: Clomid cd 3-7
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  #3  
October 23rd, 2011, 12:49 PM
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I don't know what to tell you. I have pretty much lost all hope. I am interested to see what advice other people have to offer.
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  #4  
October 23rd, 2011, 11:18 PM
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I should have lost hope by now, but hope is all I can have at this point... When I am in a rut, I do anything and everything I can to put my mind on something else... It doesn't always work, but it usually does to boost me just enough to be able to climb out...
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  #5  
October 24th, 2011, 05:39 AM
Addaboy's Avatar Veteran
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I am feeling the same way, Augie! I think I told you that the other day already. My cure, a cup of blueberry coffee from Dunkin Donuts (with LOTS of cream & TONS of sugar)!
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  #6  
October 24th, 2011, 04:06 PM
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I think I go into denial. I concentrate on the immediately foreseeable future, like the upcoming weekend, our next vacation and try not to think about it. It's worked well for me but who knows what all this pent up emotion is doing..
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  #7  
October 24th, 2011, 08:56 PM
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I can't say, because I never really lost hope. Only once, briefly, when I thought I was miscarrying following our IVF... on Christmas eve... I spent that particular holiday alone, filling out adoption paperwork. I'm not sure if I would have gone through with it or if I would have kept trying. I think I would have kept trying if I could have found another avenue to attack. However, four days later, I found out the IVF was successful after all.

Looking back, I think I was progressively depressed with each miscarriage. Duh, right? But think about what depression does to you - it kills your optimism. You're buried under a suffocating blanket of inertia. And you're so depressed that you don't even notice, or remember what a happy, normal life felt like. So you just feel like there's no hope and therefore the only logical solution is to stop trying. It's a terrible downward spiral which sucks away your drive to do the one thing you really want - conceive a family.

I'm not an especially optimistic person, but I am a determined one once I want something. I think that is how I kept going - my stubborn nature and my anger at our situation. I threw every friggin' thing but the kitchen sink at my infertility. After all, the odds are, if you keep trying, eventually it will happen, even if it doesn't feel like it. Those are the facts. I kept searching for answers and I didn't care if my doctors thought I was crazy. Well, I didn't care all that much. I got my babies, so I guess I'm not so crazy after all!
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Me: Lisa, Mommy to twins +1
8/5/08 Beautiful twin girls Leigh and Lucy born after 4-year struggle with RPL & 6 losses
12/10/09 Surprise! Baby #3 is on the way, EDD 6/22/10

12/29/09 2nd ultrasound - joining team blue

6/16/10 Baby Ben is born!



Last edited by LisaB; October 24th, 2011 at 09:03 PM.
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  #8  
October 24th, 2011, 10:30 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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I think you're very right about the depression lisa!
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~TTC #1 together 2 years and counting ~


Awesome siggy made by Jaidynsmum

Me: Hashi's, PCOS, Insulin resistant, Multiple miscarriages
175mcg Synthyroid, 1500mg Metformin
Colposcopy = CIN1+CIN2 cells Polypectomy - August 21st
Him: MFI low count, low morphology, low motillity
Seeing MFI specialist/RE in 2015. Vitamins started August 2nd
Trying a few cycles of clomid and progesterone. FX this is all it takes.
Cycle 1: Clomid cd3-7 ~ bfn
Cycle 2: Clomid cd 3-7
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  #9  
October 27th, 2011, 09:31 AM
ShesaDreamer's Avatar If Only. If Only <3
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I really don't think I have any hope left. If DH refuses to change his mind about more kids. I have some really hard decisions to make. Right now I think I am in my deepest depression since before we had Angelica when I lost Jeziah after my first fertility treatment. I'm just stuck. I don't know what to do or where to go.
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  #10  
October 27th, 2011, 12:37 PM
esparando para bebé's Avatar Proud Car Seat Technician
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*hugs* ladies. I had a dream the other night that seemed to have helped some. I even blogged about it.
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Thanks to Jaidynsmum for my siggy!
Proud former foster parent to a teen. Waiting on our next call. Proud Aunt to 22.
Proud mommy to 7 angels. Survivor of 4 failed adoptions (5 kids)
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