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Forum: Recurrent Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss

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  #1  
July 5th, 2006, 07:40 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 371
It's official.. I'm in the throws of a m/c.. I don't know what to do.. I just want to curl up in a ball under a rock or something. I'm scared.. I don't know what to expect. I feel like a part of me is dieing. And I'm in need of so much help right now.. I'm so ashamed to say I can't do this on my own, but I know I can't.

I feel like I have no one and nothing right now. Ladies, I could use all the help I can get...
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<span style="font-familyalatino Linotype">"I wish you knew how much you changed all our lives. But I know someday you'll see, if only through heaven's eyes."
I'll always love you, Lori.</span>
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  #2  
July 5th, 2006, 08:07 PM
Chunky Monkey's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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If you need to talk either PM or send me an email/IM. All my information is in my profile. I am so sorry for your loss too. I am also going through one right now.

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  #3  
July 5th, 2006, 08:08 PM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Michigan
Posts: 12,330
Oh sweetie - my heart breaks for you. I have said the same words you are saying now & I know in this moment there is nothing I can say that is going to fix this. Words can't fix this right now, the only thing that could fix it this moment is for it not to be happening. I know your heart is dark & feeling empty. There are times in this that I felt so completely used up & that nothing could ever heal it. It is okay to feel that way right now. We are allowed our time to be devoid of hope & wonder if life has any meaning at all. We cannot stay there of course, but we are allowed to have that time...to question it all...and you are right in the middle of that right now. I am so incredibly sorry you are facing this again. It does feel sometimes like too much to bear, but I promise you it isn't. If you cannot trust your own self right now in all the chaos of your heart & the pounding in your head, trust me...that I know what you are saying & even deeper my soul hears the pain in your soul & you will be okay in the end - even if that isn't today, or tommorrow, or for a while. I wish this wasn' happening for you & I will keep you in my thoughts & prayers. Again I am so very sorry & if there is anything I can do - pm me anytime.

Much love to you in this very difficult time.

I had to edit to add- That there is NO shame is saying you can't do it on your own. You could do it on your own...I am sure of that - but there is good reason to reach out for help here - that is what we are all here for. If we each felt like the journey could be done alone, we wouldn't seek comfort in those that understand. Please don't ever feel ashamed of asking for support.
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We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. ~Gloria Steinem

If a man has been his mother's undisputed darling he retains throughout life the triumphant feeling, the confidence in success, which not seldom brings actual success along with it. ~Sigmund Freud
My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon
Don't wait to make your son a great man - make him a great boy. ~Author Unknown
You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes. ~Walter M. Schirra, Sr.
A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. ~Irish Proverb
Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved. ~Erich Fromm
Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert
Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children. ~William Makepeace Thackeray
God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers. ~Jewish Proverb
The best conversations with mothers always take place in silence, when only the heart speaks. ~Carrie Latet




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  #4  
July 5th, 2006, 09:01 PM
lizard's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I am so sorry that you are going through this again. I was really hoping that the outcome would be better for you. We all need support, so don't feel guilty that you feel you can't do it on your own. We are here for you.
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  #5  
July 5th, 2006, 09:40 PM
Rina42308's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: CA
Posts: 2,991
I am so so sorry...I pm'd you sweetie. I am here for you too...please contact me anytime. You are not alone. We will help you through this adn asking fro help shows your strength not your weakness! Remember that...
Hugs,
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Mommy to miracle baby 4/23/08 and four babies in heaven:lost 3/22/05 edd 10/28/05, lost 5/25/05 edd 12/26/05, lost 1/31/06 edd 9/19/06

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has." -Margaret Mead
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  #6  
July 6th, 2006, 08:43 AM
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I'm so sorry. It just never seems fair and I hate how this happens.



I'm so sorry. It just never seems fair and I hate how this happens.

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  #7  
July 6th, 2006, 08:31 PM
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Posts: 371
Well, even though my cervix was open when I was at the Dr, I still haven't passed the babies.. So I may make it to the Dr in the morning as we had planned. I'm still very scared, and hoping that I'm not going to need a d&c.. I just want to feel like I let nature run it's course and that I did everything I could to protect them while I could, you know?

*sigh* Thanks for all of the support ladies. I'll update again soon.
__________________
<div align="center">



<span style="font-familyalatino Linotype">"I wish you knew how much you changed all our lives. But I know someday you'll see, if only through heaven's eyes."
I'll always love you, Lori.</span>
</div>
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  #8  
July 6th, 2006, 09:42 PM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Michigan
Posts: 12,330
Sweetie - I am sorry you are still waiting with no change. It is so hard. Just know you have options. Even if nothing has happened tomorrow - you can ask him about meds ot help your body start to contract & move things along. If you don' twant a D&C you don't have to do that right off. I have waited & although it isn't easy - I found that I believe it was easier for me. Everyone knows what is right for themselves & for me I waited even against (stupid) Dr's advice. My Dr pushed me toward D&C - and other Dr's try to recommend you wait. In the end, unless you are having sever bleedingm, or are at immediate risk for infection, you have time to think it through & decide. It is up to you.

I wish you all the best whatever happens tonight/tomorrow. I am sorry it took e so long to respond today - I slept right after work until now, I think I have a bit of a bug. I will be around over the weekend as well. Pm anytime. I'll be thinking of you.
__________________
B - Crazy momma to my two boys
We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. ~Gloria Steinem

If a man has been his mother's undisputed darling he retains throughout life the triumphant feeling, the confidence in success, which not seldom brings actual success along with it. ~Sigmund Freud
My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon
Don't wait to make your son a great man - make him a great boy. ~Author Unknown
You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes. ~Walter M. Schirra, Sr.
A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. ~Irish Proverb
Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved. ~Erich Fromm
Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert
Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children. ~William Makepeace Thackeray
God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers. ~Jewish Proverb
The best conversations with mothers always take place in silence, when only the heart speaks. ~Carrie Latet




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  #9  
July 7th, 2006, 08:48 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 371
Well, I've been given some meds to push things along... So I guess I've just got to continue to wait.

The pain is pretty intense at times, although I don't know if it is my heart or my uterus that hurts more, so I'll probably be laying low until I'm feeling a little better.. I'm planning on just trying to rest all weekend and see what happens.. I'll update as I can, but thank you all for being so incredibly supportive through all of this.
__________________
<div align="center">



<span style="font-familyalatino Linotype">"I wish you knew how much you changed all our lives. But I know someday you'll see, if only through heaven's eyes."
I'll always love you, Lori.</span>
</div>
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  #10  
July 9th, 2006, 10:59 PM
Rina42308's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: CA
Posts: 2,991
How are you feeling sweetie? Any physical progress??

I hear you on what hurts more your heart or your uterus...I vote heart...it's so incredibly painful. *sigh*

Thinking of you...
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Mommy to miracle baby 4/23/08 and four babies in heaven:lost 3/22/05 edd 10/28/05, lost 5/25/05 edd 12/26/05, lost 1/31/06 edd 9/19/06

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has." -Margaret Mead
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  #11  
July 9th, 2006, 11:32 PM
4iris's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Midwest
Posts: 10,732
Oh, hon, I'm sorry you're having to go through this again. I hope the meds are working for you. I completely understand the which hurts more...I was overwhelmed by how much my heart hurt with my losses. Let us know how you're doing.
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Do not sorrow; the joy of the Lord is your strength." Neh. 8:10
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  #12  
July 9th, 2006, 11:37 PM
Chunky Monkey's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Sweetie, I know how it's like. I just had mine last week and I let everything happen naturally instead of having the D&C. Both the physical pain and emotional pain is intense. I hope you can get through the physical part really soon, as the emotional part is harder to get through.

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  #13  
July 10th, 2006, 09:50 AM
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 371
Thanks for your wonderful words of support, ladies.. I have made physical progress and will be having a follow-up u/s in about a week and a half to make sure everything is gone.. I don't think I expected the contractions and passing of tissue to be so painful, and I am still hurting.. But I'm still bleeding, can't really eat anything, and basically lay in bed all day..

Otherwise, I think I'm just in emotional shock.. I cry a lot, and then get so angry at everything.. For instance, there was a bird outside my window chirping because of my cats sitting on the window, and I just started screaming at it because I was so annoyed.. *sigh* I don't know what's wrong with me.

I'm sorry I haven't been updating as much, I'm just completely exhausted and hurting.. But thanks again for the support.. I'm sure I'll come around in a few days.
__________________
<div align="center">



<span style="font-familyalatino Linotype">"I wish you knew how much you changed all our lives. But I know someday you'll see, if only through heaven's eyes."
I'll always love you, Lori.</span>
</div>
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  #14  
July 10th, 2006, 10:38 AM
4iris's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Midwest
Posts: 10,732
I'm sorry you're still hurting so much. Hopefully you'll get some relief soon. As for the anger at little stuff, that's normal. We've all been through it. Anger is part of grieving and you have to get through it to move on with your emotional healing. Your hormones are also all in a mess and that will make you angry, too. We're here for you. We'll listen to all your angry rants and we'll cry with you and give you virtual hugs.
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Do not sorrow; the joy of the Lord is your strength." Neh. 8:10
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