Log In Sign Up

I think I am depressed


Forum: Recurrent Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Recurrent Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
November 5th, 2011, 09:42 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 5,281
I am not you could call it PPD anymore (my son is 7 months old). With me currently losing my second pregnancy since he's been born, I have started being really irritable and angry. I think I am depressed. I am having a hard time enjoying being with Peter. I don't like the person or mother I am becoming...
__________________
Thanks to Vicki... for my siggy!


Reply With Quote
  #2  
November 5th, 2011, 10:47 AM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 26,547
Send a message via MSN to plan4fate
I personally fully believe you CAN suffer from a form of PPD after a loss. I'd call it Post Miscarriage Syndrome, but it makes it sound like PMS and they're sooo not the same thing

This is probably going to sound a lot like what I told Augie in her bitterness thread too.

It has a lot to do with what Society has ingrained in us. You are supposed to feel better because you have a child at home. He is supposed to make it all better and help you forget. But, that's not what really happens. Children actually remind you MORE of what you've lost which increases the feelings of depression and anger. It doesn't matter if the baby comes prior to losses, or is a rainbow deep down we all have that expectation that they're gonna make it all better even if we don't actually think that in our heads.

But let's face the facts. Society is full of cow poop. They allow us to grieve for a while with out any comments if we lose a parents, spouse, sibling, grandparent, aunt, cousin, friend... but they allow us ZERO mourning time for a child who did not come to be. But we, those who've dealt with the losses know, that it can hurt just the same and comes with a hoard of other emotions, the major one being blame.

My suggestions

1- Get outside or sit in front of a big window if you've got bad weather. Or buy a spectrum lamp. People suffer from more RPL depression in the fall because of the season change, you need that Vitamin D (and Peter's probably nursing out most of what you do have).

2- know that you really do not feel that way towards Peter, he's just unfortunately the one who's there at the moment.

3 - if it persists, go and talk to someone. be it your doctor, peters, or a therapist. If it gets worse, don't wait and go in.

4 - Remember that it is ok to feel hurt and mad at the world over a loss. Take time to grieve as you did before you had your son. As long as you can function as Peter needs you while you grieve, if you can't, see #3.

5 - Remember we are here for you if you need us. Posts, PM's anything you need we are here. This is what this board is for, support no matter what.

__________________
~TTC #1 together 2 years and counting ~


Awesome siggy made by Jaidynsmum

Me: Hashi's, PCOS, Insulin resistant, Multiple miscarriages
175mcg Synthyroid, 1500mg Metformin
Colposcopy = CIN1+CIN2 cells Polypectomy - August 21st
Him: MFI low count, low morphology, low motillity
Seeing MFI specialist/RE in 2015. Vitamins started August 2nd
Trying a few cycles of clomid and progesterone. FX this is all it takes.
Cycle 1: Clomid cd3-7 ~ bfn
Cycle 2: Clomid cd 3-7 ~ beta negative (< 3)
Reply With Quote
  #3  
November 5th, 2011, 11:06 AM
esparando para bebé's Avatar Proud Car Seat Technician
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 19,613
Send a message via AIM to esparando para bebé Send a message via Yahoo to esparando para bebé
I agree with Ashley. I don't think I could have said it any better.

__________________

Thanks to Jaidynsmum for my siggy!
Proud former foster parent to a teen. Waiting on our next call. Proud Aunt to 22.
Proud mommy to 7 angels. Survivor of 4 failed adoptions (5 kids)
Reply With Quote
  #4  
November 5th, 2011, 12:27 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Illinois
Posts: 1,557
Reply With Quote
  #5  
November 5th, 2011, 01:26 PM
geogeek's Avatar Marsi's Mommy
Join Date: May 2009
Location: In yonder mountains
Posts: 9,340
Reply With Quote
  #6  
November 5th, 2011, 08:38 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 5,281
Thanks girls! I forgot how great you were!
__________________
Thanks to Vicki... for my siggy!


Reply With Quote
  #7  
November 6th, 2011, 01:43 PM
Leanne78's Avatar Nov 2012 DDC Co-Host
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 9,498
Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Tithen~ View Post
I personally fully believe you CAN suffer from a form of PPD after a loss. I'd call it Post Miscarriage Syndrome, but it makes it sound like PMS and they're sooo not the same thing

This is probably going to sound a lot like what I told Augie in her bitterness thread too.

It has a lot to do with what Society has ingrained in us. You are supposed to feel better because you have a child at home. He is supposed to make it all better and help you forget. But, that's not what really happens. Children actually remind you MORE of what you've lost which increases the feelings of depression and anger. It doesn't matter if the baby comes prior to losses, or is a rainbow deep down we all have that expectation that they're gonna make it all better even if we don't actually think that in our heads.

But let's face the facts. Society is full of cow poop. They allow us to grieve for a while with out any comments if we lose a parents, spouse, sibling, grandparent, aunt, cousin, friend... but they allow us ZERO mourning time for a child who did not come to be. But we, those who've dealt with the losses know, that it can hurt just the same and comes with a hoard of other emotions, the major one being blame.

My suggestions

1- Get outside or sit in front of a big window if you've got bad weather. Or buy a spectrum lamp. People suffer from more RPL depression in the fall because of the season change, you need that Vitamin D (and Peter's probably nursing out most of what you do have).

2- know that you really do not feel that way towards Peter, he's just unfortunately the one who's there at the moment.

3 - if it persists, go and talk to someone. be it your doctor, peters, or a therapist. If it gets worse, don't wait and go in.

4 - Remember that it is ok to feel hurt and mad at the world over a loss. Take time to grieve as you did before you had your son. As long as you can function as Peter needs you while you grieve, if you can't, see #3.

5 - Remember we are here for you if you need us. Posts, PM's anything you need we are here. This is what this board is for, support no matter what.

Wow, what a great response. I think I needed to read that too.
__________________



Reply With Quote
  #8  
November 6th, 2011, 02:52 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 26,547
Send a message via MSN to plan4fate
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leanne78 View Post
Wow, what a great response. I think I needed to read that too.
Thank you and *HUGS* for you too.
__________________
~TTC #1 together 2 years and counting ~


Awesome siggy made by Jaidynsmum

Me: Hashi's, PCOS, Insulin resistant, Multiple miscarriages
175mcg Synthyroid, 1500mg Metformin
Colposcopy = CIN1+CIN2 cells Polypectomy - August 21st
Him: MFI low count, low morphology, low motillity
Seeing MFI specialist/RE in 2015. Vitamins started August 2nd
Trying a few cycles of clomid and progesterone. FX this is all it takes.
Cycle 1: Clomid cd3-7 ~ bfn
Cycle 2: Clomid cd 3-7 ~ beta negative (< 3)
Reply With Quote
  #9  
November 6th, 2011, 10:25 PM
LisaB's Avatar Mom to twins + 1
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Carmel, CA
Posts: 5,872
Send a message via Yahoo to LisaB
What Ashley said! Especially #5... You can always vent here or PM me anytime! I am feeling depressed lately too so I can relate.

__________________


Me: Lisa, Mommy to twins +1
8/5/08 Beautiful twin girls Leigh and Lucy born after 4-year struggle with RPL & 6 losses
12/10/09 Surprise! Baby #3 is on the way, EDD 6/22/10

12/29/09 2nd ultrasound - joining team blue

6/16/10 Baby Ben is born!


Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:31 PM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0