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So I'm feeling quite a bit better now... I had a little mini breakdown last night because I got drunk at my brother's and after we got home I cried and told DF about all of my fears and we talked about how crushed we've both been. I'm back at work today and everyone has been so sweet...
I've stopped bleeding already, thank heavens, and now I'm starting to get very excited about our appointment with the doc on the 30th. The more I read and research the more convinced I am that I have a hormonal problem. I've always had a short cycle, 25 days. My cycles after my first loss were a little longer, but I only had two where there was ovulation before we got pregnant again. So it's entirely possible that I have a luteal phase defect. And the fact that both babies were slow growing and behind at the first ultrasounds makes me think that it's probably not a clotting issue (although I will definitely insist on being tested.) I had a blood clot in my leg about 5 years ago and they did very extensive testing on me then and never found any clotting disorders though. I was taking baby aspirin with this last loss...
So I'm starting to look forward and even get excited about the idea of trying again. I know we'll get our baby here and I'm so grateful that we don't seem to have any problem getting pregnant.