[plan4fate]

It's 9am, I've been awake for THREE hours. Why? because I woke early and because it's cold I took my temp an hour early just incase my temp didn't go back up after I peed. Well, it was up pretty good, so I came out, put it in the computer and went back to bed. Was still awake when alarm went off.. took temp, same temp as adjusted by chart... great... couldn't sleep.

FAM is taking over my life. Between scheduling when we can have sex, to waking me from sleep only to have me not able to go back to sleep wondering what the chart will say when I put the stuff in, to the chart not saying what I know it should be saying.

I want a baby. This is no secret to anyone. DH is not ready. He's not done with his type of work, he wants to go to school... the whole time he's not overly responsible about the baby making, so it leaves me to worry and fret and feel guilty when I follow the rules and then my body decides to totally shift gears leaving me worrying if I've messed up and made our lives harder.

I have a sex drive for the first time since DH and I met. The pill (along with age) killed it. Now I'm off it, and it's back.. and this dang chart dictates when I can have sex safely.

And then, if we do oops I have MORE stress. What if we have a miscarriage. What if I need a D&C, What if what if what if!

I am officially losing my mind and I don't know what to do. DH won't give me a ttc date, won't give me that one single shred of sanity because he's afraid it'll make me obsessive. Instead it's making me go crazy over trying to prevent when I don't want to!

[Augie]

*hugs* I hated charting for all the reasons you mentioned.

[plan4fate]

Right about now I hate everything. Soon as he gets up he's getting a choice. Give me a concrete ttc date and be responsible about tta (while we follow all the rules) or we swap to NFP. I cannot keep up with this stress... because I know if WE get pregnant it's going to somehow be MY fault.

[ShesaDreamer]