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I am seriously losing my mind....


Forum: Recurrent Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss

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  #1  
January 14th, 2012, 07:16 AM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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It's 9am, I've been awake for THREE hours. Why? because I woke early and because it's cold I took my temp an hour early just incase my temp didn't go back up after I peed. Well, it was up pretty good, so I came out, put it in the computer and went back to bed. Was still awake when alarm went off.. took temp, same temp as adjusted by chart... great... couldn't sleep.

FAM is taking over my life. Between scheduling when we can have sex, to waking me from sleep only to have me not able to go back to sleep wondering what the chart will say when I put the stuff in, to the chart not saying what I know it should be saying.

I want a baby. This is no secret to anyone. DH is not ready. He's not done with his type of work, he wants to go to school... the whole time he's not overly responsible about the baby making, so it leaves me to worry and fret and feel guilty when I follow the rules and then my body decides to totally shift gears leaving me worrying if I've messed up and made our lives harder.

I have a sex drive for the first time since DH and I met. The pill (along with age) killed it. Now I'm off it, and it's back.. and this dang chart dictates when I can have sex safely.

And then, if we do oops I have MORE stress. What if we have a miscarriage. What if I need a D&C, What if what if what if!

I am officially losing my mind and I don't know what to do. DH won't give me a ttc date, won't give me that one single shred of sanity because he's afraid it'll make me obsessive. Instead it's making me go crazy over trying to prevent when I don't want to!
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Awesome siggy made by Jaidynsmum

Me: Hashi's, PCOS, Insulin resistant, Multiple miscarriages
175mcg Synthyroid, 1500mg Metformin
Colposcopy = CIN1+CIN2 cells Polypectomy - August 21st
Him: MFI low count, low morphology, low motillity
Seeing MFI specialist/RE in 2015. Vitamins started August 2nd
Trying a few cycles of clomid and progesterone. FX this is all it takes.
Clomid cd3-7 ~ Testing 10/5/14
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  #2  
January 14th, 2012, 08:03 AM
esparando para bebé's Avatar Proud Car Seat Technician
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*hugs* I hated charting for all the reasons you mentioned.
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  #3  
January 14th, 2012, 09:42 AM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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Location: Wisconsin
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Right about now I hate everything. Soon as he gets up he's getting a choice. Give me a concrete ttc date and be responsible about tta (while we follow all the rules) or we swap to NFP. I cannot keep up with this stress... because I know if WE get pregnant it's going to somehow be MY fault.
__________________
~TTC #1 together 2 years and counting ~


Awesome siggy made by Jaidynsmum

Me: Hashi's, PCOS, Insulin resistant, Multiple miscarriages
175mcg Synthyroid, 1500mg Metformin
Colposcopy = CIN1+CIN2 cells Polypectomy - August 21st
Him: MFI low count, low morphology, low motillity
Seeing MFI specialist/RE in 2015. Vitamins started August 2nd
Trying a few cycles of clomid and progesterone. FX this is all it takes.
Clomid cd3-7 ~ Testing 10/5/14
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  #4  
January 14th, 2012, 10:08 AM
ShesaDreamer's Avatar If Only. If Only <3
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