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got first AF after mc


Forum: Recurrent Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss

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  #1  
July 13th, 2006, 07:02 PM
srs srs is offline
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I guess I'm happy about that, but actually it kind of freaked me out to be bleeding again, like it reminded me of the mc. This didn't happen at all with the first mc, and I was happy then because it meant I was moving forward. I was surprised how hard it was to deal with emotionally this time. I guess I really do have some issues now because of multiple losses, and they come out in weird ways like this. I almost felt like I was having a panic attack at work because I just couldn't deal with the bleeding. Has anyone else had an issue like this?
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  #2  
July 13th, 2006, 07:45 PM
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Well, I'm still waiting on AF.. I actually haven't even stopped bleeding yet since my m/c.. But I will tell you that sometimes when I've gotten AF in the past, I've freaked out thinking I was having another m/c.. Even though I knew there was no chance I had been pg in the first place, I still got really freaked.. And once I got past the freaking out part, I went through a grieving period, remembering the last m/c and mourning over my angels..

I kind of equate it to a flashback or trauma response, and dealing with my feelings about the losses in therapy and with you wonderful ladies has really helped.. We'll see how it goes when AF comes again this time..

I hope you at least feel less alone.. We're all here for you.. PM me if you need anything!
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  #3  
July 14th, 2006, 08:49 AM
4iris's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Midwest
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I just finished my first AF a few days ago and went through a lot of the same feelings you described. Since my second m/c ended in a d&c with very little bleeding, AF reminded me of my first m/c. The intense cramping, bleeding, occasional clots. It was a rough few days. I tried my best not to look, but it didn't really help. I had to use pads again, because the flow was too heavy for tampons, so I was always aware of everything going on. Not fun.

Since we were on vacation when AF started, I think I pushed back the feelings at first. I wound up having a very hormonal day on Wednesday, which isn't normal for me with AF. Hormonal usually happens the first day or two.

Anyway, I made it through and you will too. I'm sorry AF is giving you such a hard time. PM me anytime if you want to talk.
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  #4  
July 14th, 2006, 04:49 PM
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I wondered how you were hanging in there Sara...I hate af in general & after a loss it is a reminder of hte loss, a reminder that you are no longer pg, a reminder of the cycle of everythign & life moving on even when you don't feel ready to move on. I am sorry it's so crappy - mine have been crappy long before mc - but they have been even weirder since. Even when they are on time - they aren't like the af's I had right prior to the mc's. Hopefully yours won't be bad as you have more time...
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  #5  
July 15th, 2006, 12:47 AM
srs srs is offline
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Thanks for your responses. I know I'll be okay, it's just a reminder of how much more fragile I am in general now. I'm not really judging that, it's just like, "whoa. I've really changed if this bothers me so much." It also doesn't help that this has been textbook af after mc - heavier with more clots and more cramping, which just remonds me of the mc and makes me feel like what if I am having another mc now - would I even know? (it's a long shot - intellectually I'm sure this is af). My first af after my first mc was much more normal for me, although they got weird later.
I guess I've given up on making any sense out of any of this. What will happen will happen, and there's absolutely nothing I can do about it.
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