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I'm such a ball of emotions


Forum: Recurrent Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss

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  #1  
July 17th, 2006, 04:35 PM
Rylee'sMommy03's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Lutz, Florida
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I am so mad and hurt and feel empty. I hate feeling so depressed, but I can't seem to snap out of it. I know that I have been through a lot lately, but my DD and my DH need me, and I just feel weird. When my DH goes to work, I feel so lonely. I know that I have my DD with me, but it's not the same as him. I have been very clingie lately with him and don't want him to go to work. I want him home with me. This m/c is so much harder than my last one. I feel like such a failure. To make matters worse, my sister is pregnant. We were a week and a half apart with our due dates. She does not need a child in her life. She is a very immature 24 year old. I am hoping that this baby will make her grow up, but it's not fair. I told her that I was happy for her, but I am upset that I don't get to have my baby. She told me that I should be happy that I am going to be an aunt, but I can't and she just doesn't get it. Why do people that shouldn't be having babies have them, and those that want them can't? It is just not right!!!! I just want this feeling to go away. I want to feel like my old happy self again, but feel guilty for thinking that.
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  #2  
July 17th, 2006, 04:46 PM
srs srs is offline
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Quote:
I feel like such a failure.[/b]
You're not alone there. I think part of the problem is the huge pressure society puts on women to be mothers. How old are little girls when they get their first dolls? We've been trained almost since we were babies to want to grow up and have babies, and when for some reason you can't, or it's not easy, it's like you've failed in the one thing that was just supposed to come naturally.

I'm so sorry that you're struggling so much, and I wish I had some words of wisdom, but I don't- I feel exactly the way you do right now. I guess I'd just like to offer some hugs and say that I'll be thinking of you.

Sara
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  #3  
July 17th, 2006, 05:21 PM
Daniellea22's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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im having the same feelings. its horrible. and its made me a bad leader to my board because i just cant seem to post much or give anyone positive thoughts after what i have been through. it stinks. im here if you want to talk. Did they run any blood tests to find out why this is happening?
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  #4  
July 17th, 2006, 05:54 PM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I think most of what you are talking about isnormal stuff after a loss. It would be abnormal to me if you were excited for your sis right now. It's impossible to relaly be excited about anything when you are hurting so much. I also think hte thing with wanting DH more than ususal is part of trying to "hold onto" everything that matters to you. When something like this happens we feel such aloss of control that it can be difficult to not want to control everything surrounding those dear to us..to almost "keep them safe". Hang in there - it does get easier, but it's not a fast road there. Just know that you can vent or say whatever & there is nothing that I think would really shock us. we have all felt things at different times that were upsetting or made us feel like bad people or less than we once were. It is part of healing & it will help to express that. ((hugs))
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  #5  
July 18th, 2006, 07:54 AM
4iris's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I remember feeling just as you described. My second m/c hit a lot harder than the first. I'm sorry you're going through it. It does get better. I still have sad and/or clingy times, but now there's more happy than sad. I know that's hard to imagine sitting where you are today, but wanted to give you some hope.

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  #6  
July 19th, 2006, 07:01 PM
StephLS's Avatar Super Mommy
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To make matters worse, my sister is pregnant. We were a week and a half apart with our due dates. She does not need a child in her life. She is a very immature 24 year old. I am hoping that this baby will make her grow up, but it's not fair. I told her that I was happy for her, but I am upset that I don't get to have my baby. She told me that I should be happy that I am going to be an aunt, but I can't and she just doesn't get it. Why do people that shouldn't be having babies have them, and those that want them can't? It is just not right!!!! I just want this feeling to go away. I want to feel like my old happy self again, but feel guilty for thinking that.[/b]
I can identify with you on what you're going through. About a week before I got my bpf for this 2nd m/c, I found out that my sister was pregnant and had been hiding it from my parents for the past several months. She told them about a week before she was getting married. She's 22, just finishing college, and in no way prepared to take on a baby. Anyhow, when I found out I was waiting for a/f to show, it didn't and I got a bfp. Then exactly one week later I got to have another m/c. And of course my sister is still due in September. Yep, I definitely don't understand, here I am going on 31, married, at a place in my life where I'm ready to start having kids and nope its not happening for me, rather for my sister who is not ready for this.
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