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Forum: Recurrent Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss

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  • 1 Post By beck12

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  #1  
November 9th, 2012, 04:09 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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We've (thankfully) not had a new member in a little while. Which is always good, we really don't want more to have to join our ranks.

But part of me fears that the reason for this is the board is so very quiet they think we aren't active.

Is there anything I should be doing that I'm not? I don't want to post random topics all the time, they don't seem to get the best reception from the "regulars". I'm not as good at the organization as Augie was .
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Awesome siggy made by Jaidynsmum

Me: Hashi's, PCOS, Insulin resistant, Multiple miscarriages
Polypectomy - 08/21/14 Laproscopy - 12/05/2014
Him: MFI low count, low morphology, low motillity
Seeing MFI specialist/RE in 2015. Vitamins started August 2nd
Cycle 1: Clomid cd3-7 ~ bfn
Cycle 2: Clomid cd 3-7 ~ beta negative (< 3)
Cycle 3: Lap on cd 2 - Femara cd 3-7 - Testing Christmas Day
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  #2  
November 10th, 2012, 09:12 AM
Happy Song's Avatar Nicole
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 10,921
I think you are right. I never joined the still birth board even though I really wanted to because I watched it and there were no new posts on that board for a month after Seth was stillborn. For as painful as multiple losses and still birth are it just wasn't worth the nashing of the soul to write an introduction to that board.

So back to the question, how to we help people how do we let people know we are here for them?

I know a lot more people with multiple losses than are here. When i recommend coming here they have a slew of reasons not to join over here. IMHO I think the loss boiards are too fractured and that we woul be better off if we all jointed the loss board and the stillborn board.

I think what happens a lot is when someone loses their baby they drop from JM. I think maybe if you lurked and posted on the new DDC boards as if you were a temp hostess then you would see all the losses and multiple losses and knew them from the beginning and could talk with them... but that is a huge investment of time.
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  #3  
November 10th, 2012, 01:40 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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The sad thing is I do lurk on ALL the new DDC's for the first month because I always hope to join them. I never post though, and I've never known how to jump in and tell them girls we are here.. maybe I'll give that another try. I just hate posting on boards I'm not a regular on, or wont join full time kwim?

And I can kick one of the long standing stillbirth members for you if you want. I'm pretty sure my bff is one of the hosts.


I admit, I have wondered WHY the RPL board exists. We are such a small concentrated group of women. The JM girls who start on the PL board, kind of stay there no matter how many losses they've had. I was able to keep up with both after Mattie's loss that I just stayed here full time.
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~TTC #1 together 2 years and counting ~


Awesome siggy made by Jaidynsmum

Me: Hashi's, PCOS, Insulin resistant, Multiple miscarriages
Polypectomy - 08/21/14 Laproscopy - 12/05/2014
Him: MFI low count, low morphology, low motillity
Seeing MFI specialist/RE in 2015. Vitamins started August 2nd
Cycle 1: Clomid cd3-7 ~ bfn
Cycle 2: Clomid cd 3-7 ~ beta negative (< 3)
Cycle 3: Lap on cd 2 - Femara cd 3-7 - Testing Christmas Day
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  #4  
November 11th, 2012, 02:22 PM
Happy Song's Avatar Nicole
Join Date: Jan 2010
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I skipped pl because I joined JM when I got pregnant with Beau after I had already had three losses. I almost think that I participated in a study group on losses here I think it was on the PL
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  #5  
November 23rd, 2012, 03:39 AM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Michigan
Posts: 12,330
Quote:
Originally Posted by plan4fate View Post
The sad thing is I do lurk on ALL the new DDC's for the first month because I always hope to join them. I never post though, and I've never known how to jump in and tell them girls we are here.. maybe I'll give that another try. I just hate posting on boards I'm not a regular on, or wont join full time kwim?

And I can kick one of the long standing stillbirth members for you if you want. I'm pretty sure my bff is one of the hosts.


I admit, I have wondered WHY the RPL board exists. We are such a small concentrated group of women. The JM girls who start on the PL board, kind of stay there no matter how many losses they've had. I was able to keep up with both after Mattie's loss that I just stayed here full time.
Well - the RPL board used to be steady. Most of use used to hop back & forth between here & Pl & invite women over to PL. Many times the reason women don't come over from PL is because they don't know anyone here yet & feel like they are leaving behind the only people they have bonded with since starting the loss journey.

The RPL board was started because there were a number of us with several losses that got a bit tired of the hit & run posts on PL & not building longer term friendship. So we requested this board start as a way to share info on tests we were having done & a way to share about our feelings which often differed from women who we new to loss - especially when you have loss after loss & are loosing hope, it can be hard to post about that when you feel like you might be scaring the pants off a newbie that had one loss & doesn't want to think about being in your shoes.

When I was hosting I was very active on lots of boards, so that helped too - many of those women already knew me when I invited them via them mentioning they had "another loss' on a separate board - so I encouraged them to come here & share.

I have been trying to pop in & around JM the last few days (and I know I popped in here ages ago to say hi) - but I can try to stick around a bit & see if I can be of any help. For a while I tried to send out a monthly new letter & that was a lot of work, but it helped. I compiled a list of anyone how has posted in RPL for the past 6-12 months (can't recall exactly) and sent everyone one via a PM. I then put links in the newsletter to ask people to welcome new members or show support to various women really struggling, etc.

I am not saying you *should* do any of these - just telling you how we used to keep people active & involved. The stillbirth board used to be active too. Believe it or not - when I came to JM there was just the one loss board & me, Norina, Robin & Susan were the only people I can recall posting at first. Amazing how long ago that feels now.

Anyway - just thought I would share some of what we did. I am not sure how much it helps - but it can't hurt.
Happy Song likes this.
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We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. ~Gloria Steinem

If a man has been his mother's undisputed darling he retains throughout life the triumphant feeling, the confidence in success, which not seldom brings actual success along with it. ~Sigmund Freud
My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon
Don't wait to make your son a great man - make him a great boy. ~Author Unknown
You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes. ~Walter M. Schirra, Sr.
A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. ~Irish Proverb
Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved. ~Erich Fromm
Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert
Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children. ~William Makepeace Thackeray
God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers. ~Jewish Proverb
The best conversations with mothers always take place in silence, when only the heart speaks. ~Carrie Latet




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  #6  
November 27th, 2012, 02:33 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2010
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I use to go back, I hosted the board back in 2007 so I would go back to some of the threads I started then and I would also use some that were started when the board first came around.

Sometimes it gets to be repeat but its nice for people lurking or even googling for these repeats to come up.
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  #7  
November 29th, 2012, 12:13 PM
docsmomma's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I don't visit JM often anymore. It became hard for me to come to any JM board after a while, with time constraints and other things going on. But I do try to stop in on occasion. Sometimes i need a good swift kick in the butt to actually get me to remember my password. lol
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  #8  
December 5th, 2012, 03:47 AM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by docsmomma View Post
I don't visit JM often anymore. It became hard for me to come to any JM board after a while, with time constraints and other things going on. But I do try to stop in on occasion. Sometimes i need a good swift kick in the butt to actually get me to remember my password. lol
I think we all do.
__________________
B - Crazy momma to my two boys
We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. ~Gloria Steinem

If a man has been his mother's undisputed darling he retains throughout life the triumphant feeling, the confidence in success, which not seldom brings actual success along with it. ~Sigmund Freud
My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon
Don't wait to make your son a great man - make him a great boy. ~Author Unknown
You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes. ~Walter M. Schirra, Sr.
A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. ~Irish Proverb
Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved. ~Erich Fromm
Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert
Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children. ~William Makepeace Thackeray
God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers. ~Jewish Proverb
The best conversations with mothers always take place in silence, when only the heart speaks. ~Carrie Latet




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  #9  
December 5th, 2012, 06:43 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 26,609
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I'm always here... I just sometimes don't have anything to say, or don't know what to say. Strangely I needed the board more when we weren't ttc than I do that we are now.

We'll see how I feel after a few more miscarriages
__________________
~TTC #1 together 2 years and counting ~


Awesome siggy made by Jaidynsmum

Me: Hashi's, PCOS, Insulin resistant, Multiple miscarriages
Polypectomy - 08/21/14 Laproscopy - 12/05/2014
Him: MFI low count, low morphology, low motillity
Seeing MFI specialist/RE in 2015. Vitamins started August 2nd
Cycle 1: Clomid cd3-7 ~ bfn
Cycle 2: Clomid cd 3-7 ~ beta negative (< 3)
Cycle 3: Lap on cd 2 - Femara cd 3-7 - Testing Christmas Day
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