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Thought I would share my letter too...


Forum: Recurrent Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss

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  #1  
July 28th, 2006, 12:29 AM
Rina42308's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: CA
Posts: 2,991
So I opened the ever looming "box"...the one with all my babies things in it to find this letter and share it with you. I wrote it last year...I think a few months after my 2nd m/c. To tell you the truth, I don't remeber writing it. I just know it's there. And it's my hand writing. So I must have written it. That time of my life was so dark. If you would have asked me then if I thought I would survive I would have said no...

My dearest babies,
From the moment you were inside of me I loved you...I wanted you. I have wept for almost 6 months over your deaths. Though we were never able to hold one another physically, I know I will hold you all in my heart forever. I have found that we all have a purpose, even you my little ones, so I thank you for coming into my life and making my heart soar if only for a little while. Perhaps your "plan" was to enlighten me??? Should this be true, in an attempt to honor you, I will get better. My mourning for you does not have to equate to the depths of my love...if it did I could mourn my entire lifetime and still it would not be enough.
No matter what may happen between your father and I, know we both loved you, wanted you, and tried to save you. I am sorry my body failed to sustain you life. I will never forget you, my 3 angels. You will always be my first 3 children...
Loving you for all eternity,
Mommy

I have a few other writings but that was my first. Not so articulate but raw...very raw, grief ridden, and new...
Thank you for taking the time to read it and acknowledging my pain and their lives...
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Mommy to miracle baby 4/23/08 and four babies in heaven:lost 3/22/05 edd 10/28/05, lost 5/25/05 edd 12/26/05, lost 1/31/06 edd 9/19/06

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has." -Margaret Mead
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  #2  
July 28th, 2006, 07:03 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 18,680
Thank you so much for sharing that. I'm almost in tears here. Your genuine love and emotions comes through beautifully and I feel blessed that you trusted us to share something so special.
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For the special little one in your life!
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  #3  
July 28th, 2006, 11:22 AM
candacesoon's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 3,963
Oh Norina....that was so real and full of the love and pain you felt and still feel. This quote says it all "My mourning for you does not have to equate to the depths of my love...if it did I could mourn my entire lifetime and still it would not be enough." That puts into words something I have felt many many times.

Love and peace,
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  #4  
July 28th, 2006, 02:47 PM
Rina42308's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: CA
Posts: 2,991
Thank you ladies...I am glad I have found you to share it with...
Hugs and peaace to you as well,
Norina
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Mommy to miracle baby 4/23/08 and four babies in heaven:lost 3/22/05 edd 10/28/05, lost 5/25/05 edd 12/26/05, lost 1/31/06 edd 9/19/06

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has." -Margaret Mead
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  #5  
July 28th, 2006, 04:02 PM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Michigan
Posts: 12,330
Norina - I am so glad you chose to share that with us. It is a beautiful tribute to your babies & to your love for them. Many times I have wondered how far you can take the grief before it takes you & I know you too have wondered if you were standing on that edge. I want you to know how inspiring you are & how proud I am of where you have come from the way you have shown such courage & grace. I also am so greatful to you for all the things I have learned by your willingness to share.
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We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. ~Gloria Steinem

If a man has been his mother's undisputed darling he retains throughout life the triumphant feeling, the confidence in success, which not seldom brings actual success along with it. ~Sigmund Freud
My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon
Don't wait to make your son a great man - make him a great boy. ~Author Unknown
You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes. ~Walter M. Schirra, Sr.
A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. ~Irish Proverb
Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved. ~Erich Fromm
Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert
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