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Forum: Recurrent Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss

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  • 1 Post By esparando para bebé

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  #1  
March 28th, 2013, 11:20 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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a place to say what you wish someone would NEVER say to you ever.


My big one is "Do you think it will ever happen?"

Sure I do.. but what I think and what will happen are two different things! I didn't think I'd ever be dealing with this, and voila... I am
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Awesome siggy made by Jaidynsmum
Matthew&Mark 08/24/2005 9w1d, Mattie Anne 04/07/2008 8w Mel&Dee 01/19/2010 (8 weeks) and 5 chemical pregnancies
Hope 07/22/2012@4w1d, Konnor 11/24/2012@3w6d,"Emmy"1/15/2013@ 3w6d, Ronen 02/10/2013@3w5d, Joy 07/19/2013@3w6d, "Pea" 09/06/2013@ 3w3d

Me: Hashi's, PCOS, Insulin resistant
175mcg Synthyroid, 1500mg Metformin
Colposcopy = CIN1+CIN2 cells Polypectomy - August 21st
Him: MFI low count, low morphology, low motillity
Seeing MFI specialist/RE in 2015. Vitamins started August 2nd
Trying a few cycles of clomid and progesterone. FX this is all it takes.
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  #2  
March 29th, 2013, 07:01 AM
geogeek's Avatar Marsi's Mommy
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Are you pregnant yet? I got that a ton before Marsi and now that my mom knows we are trying again (via my loss) she keeps asking that. I kinda want to go all Hulk smashy on her.
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  #3  
March 29th, 2013, 07:08 AM
esparando para bebé's Avatar Proud Car Seat Technician
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"When are you going to have one?" I got this one a lot when my younger sister had her baby. We'd already lost three by that point.

"At least you can get pregnant." I've been on both sides of this. Unable to conceive for two years and loosing every baby we conceive. I'd rather not get pregnant that have my babies die.

"What if you're wrong about the gender?" I worry about this enough, but I needed to name my babies and we don't like gender neutral names. Don't add to my doubt.

"It will happen in time." Yea, right. It's been 6 years already. We have SEVEN dead babies.

"God has a plan." This infuriates me. HE planned to take my babies away from a life of everlasting love and nurturing but planned for so many others to be tortured or even killed by their parents? That's kinda screwed up! Let those parents miscarry. Give me mine.
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  #4  
March 29th, 2013, 08:22 AM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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Quote:
Originally Posted by geogeek View Post
Are you pregnant yet? I got that a ton before Marsi and now that my mom knows we are trying again (via my loss) she keeps asking that. I kinda want to go all Hulk smashy on her.
I have a vision of you, with your pretty red hair, turning large and green and just punching someone into a wall now.




Thankfully no one asks if we are pregnant yet. I do get asked if we plan on trying to have one someday... I don't mind that one... it gives me some wiggle room to be honest, or just say "we hope to."


Another one I HATE is "you were always the first one to do everything, and now everyone has babies but you."

Gee thanks Yes. I was one of the first to start seriously dating and having sex. Yes, other started having babies before I did. Yes, most of them have more than one baby. However I did wait until the time felt right to start... I don't get to control when it happens now.
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~TTC #1 together 2 years and counting ~


Awesome siggy made by Jaidynsmum
Matthew&Mark 08/24/2005 9w1d, Mattie Anne 04/07/2008 8w Mel&Dee 01/19/2010 (8 weeks) and 5 chemical pregnancies
Hope 07/22/2012@4w1d, Konnor 11/24/2012@3w6d,"Emmy"1/15/2013@ 3w6d, Ronen 02/10/2013@3w5d, Joy 07/19/2013@3w6d, "Pea" 09/06/2013@ 3w3d

Me: Hashi's, PCOS, Insulin resistant
175mcg Synthyroid, 1500mg Metformin
Colposcopy = CIN1+CIN2 cells Polypectomy - August 21st
Him: MFI low count, low morphology, low motillity
Seeing MFI specialist/RE in 2015. Vitamins started August 2nd
Trying a few cycles of clomid and progesterone. FX this is all it takes.
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  #5  
March 30th, 2013, 03:46 AM
Mega Super Mommy
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Ladies I love the honesty!
I don't mind when people ask "do you have any children" like plan4fate said- I just answer "not yet".

What I do mind is "well if you were a mother you'd ____" this one kills me. Really people? If I were a mother what- would I have more compassion? Would I be a better person at work? I don't think so! I am very loving, giving, and a great professional. Think about this in context people! Would a heart surgeon only produce good outcomes if they had suffered a heart attack?? This is my hulk comment geogeek!
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  #6  
March 30th, 2013, 05:58 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Illinois
Posts: 1,556
With our fist losses I was still in high school, so I was told it is better it happened this way since I was so young. My MIL told me she was happy I lost the 2nd baby because shortly after DH and I weren't together anymore.

I was also told I was just too young, my body wasn't ready. But a 12 year girls body is?!

The God's plan, please tell someone who doesn't believe in God more about this, please.
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  #7  
March 30th, 2013, 07:06 PM
geogeek's Avatar Marsi's Mommy
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Oh, "Relax" just pisses me off as well.

The "are you under a doctor's care?" irks me too. No, I like to know all my babies are dead and do nothing about it. No one would forego care for losses without good reason (like one lady here).

Before Marsi I got a lot of "do your womanly duty" as well. I wanted to castrate my brother when he told me that. (I am noticing it makes me violent )

"Are you sure you are having sex at the right time?" Ummmm...between OPKs and CM observations I have done for years, I am that dumb....yeah.
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  #8  
March 30th, 2013, 07:46 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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Quote:
Originally Posted by geogeek View Post
Oh, "Relax" just pisses me off as well.

The "are you under a doctor's care?" irks me too. No, I like to know all my babies are dead and do nothing about it. No one would forego care for losses without good reason (like one lady here).

Before Marsi I got a lot of "do your womanly duty" as well. I wanted to castrate my brother when he told me that. (I am noticing it makes me violent )

"Are you sure you are having sex at the right time?" Ummmm...between OPKs and CM observations I have done for years, I am that dumb....yeah.
The OB clinic asked me that when I called to book in my appointment the other day. I wanted to bang my head off the wall. I did reply sweetly with "Yes, daily from the time my period is here, until 2 days of no noticeable cervical fluid. I probably have more experience with this than most doctors."


One big one I get (and Augie will get this one) is people assuming because I now have a child even if it isn't mine... that it should be enough for me. Yes, I love my step son, I would give my life for him... but he doesn't make up for the lost babies.
__________________
~TTC #1 together 2 years and counting ~


Awesome siggy made by Jaidynsmum
Matthew&Mark 08/24/2005 9w1d, Mattie Anne 04/07/2008 8w Mel&Dee 01/19/2010 (8 weeks) and 5 chemical pregnancies
Hope 07/22/2012@4w1d, Konnor 11/24/2012@3w6d,"Emmy"1/15/2013@ 3w6d, Ronen 02/10/2013@3w5d, Joy 07/19/2013@3w6d, "Pea" 09/06/2013@ 3w3d

Me: Hashi's, PCOS, Insulin resistant
175mcg Synthyroid, 1500mg Metformin
Colposcopy = CIN1+CIN2 cells Polypectomy - August 21st
Him: MFI low count, low morphology, low motillity
Seeing MFI specialist/RE in 2015. Vitamins started August 2nd
Trying a few cycles of clomid and progesterone. FX this is all it takes.
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  #9  
April 1st, 2013, 04:40 AM
lelila's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Wow, you ladies have been hit with some hard ones.

We didn't tell many people, so I only heard a few dumb ones:

"well, were you really trying?" - No, we got pregnant through osmosis.
and

"well, you're probably too old anyway".

Those are my personal favorites.
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  #10  
April 1st, 2013, 01:14 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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Someone gave me a "do you really want to be saddled down the rest of your life with a child?" yesterday... on an EDD... *head desk*

Well.. yes. But... after a while i can kick it out of the nest and hope it learns to fly on it's own... Most normal people don't live at home their whole life with out a good reason.. and while I'm happy to be mom my whole life... there comes an age where I can just turn the ringer off for a few hours and have some "we" time with DH.

Plus, I have a step kid, I'm saddled for life now! And it's not saddled, it's an intricate braid of emotions!
__________________
~TTC #1 together 2 years and counting ~


Awesome siggy made by Jaidynsmum
Matthew&Mark 08/24/2005 9w1d, Mattie Anne 04/07/2008 8w Mel&Dee 01/19/2010 (8 weeks) and 5 chemical pregnancies
Hope 07/22/2012@4w1d, Konnor 11/24/2012@3w6d,"Emmy"1/15/2013@ 3w6d, Ronen 02/10/2013@3w5d, Joy 07/19/2013@3w6d, "Pea" 09/06/2013@ 3w3d

Me: Hashi's, PCOS, Insulin resistant
175mcg Synthyroid, 1500mg Metformin
Colposcopy = CIN1+CIN2 cells Polypectomy - August 21st
Him: MFI low count, low morphology, low motillity
Seeing MFI specialist/RE in 2015. Vitamins started August 2nd
Trying a few cycles of clomid and progesterone. FX this is all it takes.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
April 2nd, 2013, 08:33 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Illinois
Posts: 1,556
You need to just get over it.

At least the baby died before it was actually a baby.
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  #12  
April 2nd, 2013, 11:57 AM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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Posts: 26,385
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^^ DH said to me in July "But it wasn't really a baby yet was it?"

The only reason he still has his balls is because I want a baby. I'd have removed them if I didn't.


In his defense, he watches me everyday read things on fb about prolife and pro choice and how I don't believe that life begins at conception. What dofus doesn't realize is I believe that for the general public... cause I'm pro choice. What happens in my own uterus... is totally different!
__________________
~TTC #1 together 2 years and counting ~


Awesome siggy made by Jaidynsmum
Matthew&Mark 08/24/2005 9w1d, Mattie Anne 04/07/2008 8w Mel&Dee 01/19/2010 (8 weeks) and 5 chemical pregnancies
Hope 07/22/2012@4w1d, Konnor 11/24/2012@3w6d,"Emmy"1/15/2013@ 3w6d, Ronen 02/10/2013@3w5d, Joy 07/19/2013@3w6d, "Pea" 09/06/2013@ 3w3d

Me: Hashi's, PCOS, Insulin resistant
175mcg Synthyroid, 1500mg Metformin
Colposcopy = CIN1+CIN2 cells Polypectomy - August 21st
Him: MFI low count, low morphology, low motillity
Seeing MFI specialist/RE in 2015. Vitamins started August 2nd
Trying a few cycles of clomid and progesterone. FX this is all it takes.
Reply With Quote
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