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Forum: Recurrent Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss

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  #1  
August 5th, 2006, 07:42 PM
srs srs is offline
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Well, I went to a party tonight with a six months pg woman, and I actually did okay, and we even talked a bit about baby stuff. That is a major milestone for me.
I think since I've found out that I probably do have a problem, it has brought a lot of closure and allowed me to get rid of a lot of self blame that was still hidden under the surface. Intellectually I have always known that there was nothing I could have done, but emotionally was another story.
And now I feel like I have an answer when people ask if we're going to have kids soon. Somehow it makes me feel like I'm less likely to get stupid comments, because there's actually a problem, and people can wrap their heads around that (although we'll see). When there's no obvious reason, people give you all that "something wrong with the baby" garbage.
And maybe also because I really hate to fail, and it's easier to come to terms with that now that it I know I probably never had a chance, and it was my body that let me down, not my actions. I'm not very proud of that part of my personality, but there it is.
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  #2  
August 5th, 2006, 07:53 PM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Michigan
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I totally get what you mean. the only part that I hope you won't find disappointing is other people. I can' teblieve how often I have people as me "are they sure?"... I always say "nope - they always just throw out guesses & go with it - that's Dr's for ya". They usually get what a tupid question it is then...

I know what you mean about a certain level of closure though - at least it fees like you aren't stumbling around in the dark. I am glad things went okay at the party. I have been doing better with that the last few months, but then sometimes I don't again - so who knows? I think it's hit or miss for me.
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We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. ~Gloria Steinem

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  #3  
August 5th, 2006, 09:03 PM
srs srs is offline
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Quote:
the only part that I hope you won't find disappointing is other people.[/b]
Yeah, that was probably overly optimistic. Somehow i would be surprised if the insensitive comments ever relaly went away. And it's not like i've actually told anyone that in a casual conversation.

Occasionally someone surprises me in a good way. Like when my mom got totally pissed off when I told her the kind of stuff people have said to me. I had no idea she cared so much.
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  #4  
August 7th, 2006, 08:45 AM
4iris's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Midwest
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I'm glad you survived the party. You seem to have made a good step in your emotional recovery. Beck's right about some people still giving you stupid comments, but hopefully you'll be stronger for handling them now. Just don't let yourself analyze those conversations to death! (you can remind me I said that when I come back whining about something someone said to me! )
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