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I am so terribly upset


Forum: Recurrent Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss

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  #1  
August 7th, 2006, 06:31 PM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Michigan
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I don't know how many here understand how close I am to my nieces...particularly 2 of my oldest nieces. My oldest niece is 17 & has had a problem with her neck for nearly a year. She had her tonsils removed last year & at that time they believed it would fix her swelling. I have asked my sis repeatedly about taking her to the Dr - which my sis has always blown off pretty much. She has now (since running away & living on her own) gotten it checked out. She got a biopsy last week & today the news came back that it is cancer. I am crushed. I cannot believe my sister. She has not even told her that she has cancer. She is planning to wait until they see an oncologist & tell her???!!! I am beside myself. This is ridiculous. And the ONLY reason I even know any of this is that my other sister called (long story). But the "mom" sister didn't want any of us to know...for what reason - I don't know. I am so mixed up. How she can not tell her own daughter that she has cancer & expect some Dr to tell her right before surgery is ridiculous. They believe it to be thyroid cancer & supposedly it is one of the "better" types to have. It is still so upsetting to me - she is so young, she is so lost already.

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We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. ~Gloria Steinem

If a man has been his mother's undisputed darling he retains throughout life the triumphant feeling, the confidence in success, which not seldom brings actual success along with it. ~Sigmund Freud
My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon
Don't wait to make your son a great man - make him a great boy. ~Author Unknown
You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes. ~Walter M. Schirra, Sr.
A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. ~Irish Proverb
Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved. ~Erich Fromm
Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert
Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children. ~William Makepeace Thackeray
God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers. ~Jewish Proverb
The best conversations with mothers always take place in silence, when only the heart speaks. ~Carrie Latet




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  #2  
August 7th, 2006, 06:40 PM
4iris's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2006
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Oh goodness, Beckie! I'm at a loss for words right now. But you know we're all here for you for the ups and the downs, so please lean on us and don't try to carry this burden yourself.
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  #3  
August 7th, 2006, 06:54 PM
srs srs is offline
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Oh no. Take care of yourself and your neices (both of them, from the sound of things), and I'll be praying for all of you.
Sara
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  #4  
August 7th, 2006, 08:36 PM
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Oh sweetie, when you replied to my post about the issues with my neck, I wasn't even grasping how terrible the situation with your niece is.. I am so so sorry sweetie.. I have all of the faith in the world that she will be okay, but will be sending lots of positive energy to all of you, sending you strength to get through this difficult time.. Please don't be afraid to lean on us.. We're all here for you sweetie..
And again, I am so so sorry
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  #5  
August 8th, 2006, 05:46 AM
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 781
Quote:
I don't know how many here understand how close I am to my nieces...particularly 2 of my oldest nieces. My oldest niece is 17 & has had a problem with her neck for nearly a year. She had her tonsils removed last year & at that time they believed it would fix her swelling. I have asked my sis repeatedly about taking her to the Dr - which my sis has always blown off pretty much. She has now (since running away & living on her own) gotten it checked out. She got a biopsy last week & today the news came back that it is cancer. I am crushed. I cannot believe my sister. She has not even told her that she has cancer. She is planning to wait until they see an oncologist & tell her???!!! I am beside myself. This is ridiculous. And the ONLY reason I even know any of this is that my other sister called (long story). But the "mom" sister didn't want any of us to know...for what reason - I don't know. I am so mixed up. How she can not tell her own daughter that she has cancer & expect some Dr to tell her right before surgery is ridiculous. They believe it to be thyroid cancer & supposedly it is one of the "better" types to have. It is still so upsetting to me - she is so young, she is so lost already.

[/b]
Im thinking of you and your niece!
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  #6  
August 8th, 2006, 06:42 AM
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Oh Beck!! My thoughts and prayers are with you.

As far as nieces go, I am extremely close wih my niece also. She is 11 now, but she will come to her "AuntMeme" before her Mom.

I will be thinking of you. Please keep us posted on her progress.

Amy
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  #7  
August 8th, 2006, 06:50 AM
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I'm so sorry. I'm praying for your niece. God Bless her.
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  #8  
August 8th, 2006, 07:30 AM
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That is so sad, I'm sorry. At 17 yrs. old, she should be told right away. I knew someone (we knew each other through our moms being EMT's together) who had thyroid cancer at a young age. We've run into her post-surgery and she seems to be doing fine now. Good luck to your neice.
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  #9  
August 8th, 2006, 09:25 AM
candacesoon's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Beck,
I'm so sorry about your niece. What a strange and twisted way your sister is trying to handle this. I really don't get it.

You're niece will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Love,
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  #10  
August 8th, 2006, 09:31 AM
lizard's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I am sorry that you are going through this on top of everything else. I feel so sorry for your neice. I am praying for your neice.
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  #11  
August 8th, 2006, 05:23 PM
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Oh, Beck! I'm so sorry. That is terribly young age to be battling cancer. I hope her mom wises up and tells her.

Both my mother and grandmother are battling thyroid cancer. My grandmother has been going strong for 30 years, but she has undergone lots of treatment, including having her thyroid removed and radiation treatment. My mother was diagnosed just this year and has had part of her thyroid removed.

I'll be saying a prayer for your family.
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  #12  
August 9th, 2006, 01:11 PM
Rina42308's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
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Beck-
I am so sorry I wasn't able to post to you earlier (keyboard not working)...I am so sorry to hear this news. I will be in touch by phone often and praying for your neice's wellbeing to come soon...as well as her mother to find some strength and courage in this situation and be honest with her daughter.
Stay strong...God does heal...He is with your neice.
Much love, Norina
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  #13  
August 14th, 2006, 08:32 PM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Michigan
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New update - she went to the Oncologist today. It is cancer of hte thyroid & has invaded some lymph nodes. they intend to remove her thyroid, all the lymph nodes in her neck (from what I understand) and her adnoids..and treat her with radioactive iodine. I am not suer I understand all of it - but this is the info I got from my niece today. I am hoping when I talk to my sis she may understand it a bit better. My niece is having a suprising initial reacton in that she sounded very upbeat - more-so than usual & told me she isn't sure why she is processing this way - but knows it isn't normal for her & she will most likely crash emotionally soon - but for now feels great. I am not sure how I feel - a bit numb. Her surgery is Sept 7th - as the Dr wants more tests run & a few more scans - he wants to get a better idea of what is inside before he cuts...so she will have LOTS of appts before then. I know you all have been so loving & supportive - I just wanted to make sure I updated you.

Thanks so much for the love!
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B - Crazy momma to my two boys
We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. ~Gloria Steinem

If a man has been his mother's undisputed darling he retains throughout life the triumphant feeling, the confidence in success, which not seldom brings actual success along with it. ~Sigmund Freud
My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon
Don't wait to make your son a great man - make him a great boy. ~Author Unknown
You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes. ~Walter M. Schirra, Sr.
A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. ~Irish Proverb
Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved. ~Erich Fromm
Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert
Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children. ~William Makepeace Thackeray
God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers. ~Jewish Proverb
The best conversations with mothers always take place in silence, when only the heart speaks. ~Carrie Latet




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  #15  
August 15th, 2006, 07:20 AM
4iris's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Midwest
Posts: 10,732
I'm sorry to hear that it's cancer, but sounds like the doc has a good plan to stop it. I'm glad he's taking a little extra time to know exactly what he's dealing with. The adenoids aren't a big deal, usually they disappear by ~age 16. DS had his out last August. The rest is more major, but from what I've heard should also get rid of the cancer. I'll keep all of you in my prayers.
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  #16  
August 15th, 2006, 03:58 PM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Michigan
Posts: 12,330
Another update - I talked to my Dr today & he said I cannot be around her while she is being treated with the radioactive iodine. He said she should talk to her Onclogist & find out how long it is active to know when I can be around her again. It looks like I may have to tell someone sooner than I planned. - ugh.
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B - Crazy momma to my two boys
We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. ~Gloria Steinem

If a man has been his mother's undisputed darling he retains throughout life the triumphant feeling, the confidence in success, which not seldom brings actual success along with it. ~Sigmund Freud
My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon
Don't wait to make your son a great man - make him a great boy. ~Author Unknown
You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes. ~Walter M. Schirra, Sr.
A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. ~Irish Proverb
Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved. ~Erich Fromm
Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert
Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children. ~William Makepeace Thackeray
God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers. ~Jewish Proverb
The best conversations with mothers always take place in silence, when only the heart speaks. ~Carrie Latet




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  #17  
August 15th, 2006, 06:13 PM
srs srs is offline
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Best of luck to both your neice and yourself. What a sad turn of events, but at least she will get the treatment she needs.
I guess there's probably no way you can avoid telling your niece, but do you have to tell anyone else? Probably so, given that she's a kid, but the thought occured to me.
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  #18  
August 16th, 2006, 07:12 AM
4iris's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Midwest
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Well, maybe telling her will give her something to look forward to, something positive at the end of her treatment. And you can still talk on the phone. I know you'd love to be there for her with hugs and all, so you'll just have to get more creative.

Phone calls, care packages, emails, and sharing the secret of your pregnancy should help keep you close.
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  #19  
August 16th, 2006, 05:08 PM
Rina42308's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: CA
Posts: 2,991
Quote:
Well, maybe telling her will give her something to look forward to, something positive at the end of her treatment. And you can still talk on the phone. I know you'd love to be there for her with hugs and all, so you'll just have to get more creative.

Phone calls, care packages, emails, and sharing the secret of your pregnancy should help keep you close.[/b]
I totally agree with Kathryn. You are a loving and wonderful aunt...she will understand and be thinking of you adn teh baby as strength and encouragement, I just know it! I have good hopes she will pull thorugh this Beck. She is young and strong and resilient! You are all in my prayers.
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