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waiting to m/c


Forum: Recurrent Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss

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  #1  
August 22nd, 2006, 10:42 PM
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Got my blood (hcg) results back from the doc today. they went from 58 to 142 in 5 days which is not nearly enough so I will be having another m/c. The sooner the better. He said that he could not refer me for a d/c and the only way was to go to emergency. Last time that was worse than the m/c itself so I havnt gone. I have rang so many hospitals, nurses and help lines but they all pass the buck so basically I have no choice but to wait to go through this on my own. I'm crying as I'm typing. I feel so hopeless with no options left. I really wanted this d/c this time so maybe it could clear some of the problems that I have been having with ttc and m/c.
anyways dont know what else to say. i'm just devistated and angry and numb all at once. thanks for reading.
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  #2  
August 23rd, 2006, 12:13 AM
Kiwi*Mummie*of*4's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I am so sorry for your loss I know waiting to misscarry is awful. With my last misscarriage I started bleeding off and on for a while and the scan came back good the heartbeat was 162 but I knew in my heart something was wrong because I continued to bleed red then brown then red and as much as I wanted to believe the baby was ok I feared the worst and eventually I lost my baby. Misscarrying is so heartbreaking and waiting to misscarry is torture. I will keep you in my prayers and thoughts.
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  #3  
August 23rd, 2006, 07:08 AM
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I'm so sorry hun. I've been in your shoes and it's gut wretching! My 2nd loss I had a D&C after I insited (and because it was a missed m/c at 11 weeks) but this last one I found out that my HCG levels went down by 50 and that since I was only 6 weeks along a natural m/c would be the best for me. Don't you just hate how doctor's try to tell you what's better for you when deep down you know what's right! A week later I started to bleed.

I hated having a natural m/c. The waiting was the worse part because I felt like I couldn't move on to healing because I had a constant reminder that I was no longer pg. I'm sorry that my response it such a downer, but I can really empathize with you. Keep us posted and we're all here for you.

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  #4  
August 23rd, 2006, 07:58 AM
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I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I got that sick feeling back in my stomache just reading your post. Those feelings are still fresh in my memory. I have never waited to m/c naturally. My first m/c came at 5.5 wks on its own. I spotted for a week and felt something was wrong then the very heavy bleeding and cramping came with no other warning. The 2nd time around I had a confirmed heartbeat at 6.5 wks went for a second u/s at 9 wks and there was no heartbeat. I elected to have the D&C rather than wait to m/c naturally, but I still had to wait 5 days for the procedure and those where a horrible 5 days. Thankfully we were in the middle of moving so I kept very busy. That seemed to help a bit.

Just wondering why your doc wouldn't do the D&C? Did he give you a reason?

Again, I'm so sorry. Hang in there. We are here for you.
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  #5  
August 23rd, 2006, 08:36 AM
4iris's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm sorry you have to go through this, Danielle. I wish your doc would do more for you. We'll be here for you.
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  #6  
August 23rd, 2006, 09:13 AM
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Oh, sweetie.. My heart aches for you as I read your post.. I can feel the pain you are in. I am just so so sorry, sweetheart.. Please do what is right for YOU in all of this, but always know that we are here for you and care about you. Feel free to send me a PM if there is anything I can do..

I am so sorry sweetie.
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  #7  
August 23rd, 2006, 10:27 AM
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Quote:
Got my blood (hcg) results back from the doc today. they went from 58 to 142 in 5 days which is not nearly enough so I will be having another m/c. The sooner the better. He said that he could not refer me for a d/c and the only way was to go to emergency. Last time that was worse than the m/c itself so I havnt gone. I have rang so many hospitals, nurses and help lines but they all pass the buck so basically I have no choice but to wait to go through this on my own. I'm crying as I'm typing. I feel so hopeless with no options left. I really wanted this d/c this time so maybe it could clear some of the problems that I have been having with ttc and m/c.
anyways dont know what else to say. i'm just devistated and angry and numb all at once. thanks for reading.[/b]

im sorry sweety. we are all here for you and know how your feeling
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  #8  
August 23rd, 2006, 04:03 PM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I posted this in pg loss board as well - but didn't know which you'd see first:

I understand you want a D&C & am sooo sorry you are waiting to mc....but if you must wait...I will share with you what helped me through that time.

I told myself that I would use that time to come to peace with saying good-bye. Unlike your Dr, my Dr offered a D&C - but I could not bring myself to end a pg myself...as I believed if there were ANY chance it would be a late bloomer...I needed to know for myself. Anyway - every day I meditated on that baby. I told him I loved him regardless of how long I had with him. I told him it was okay to go if he must & I was strong enough to handle that. I decided to be as in love with him as I had been hte babies before him & I was. In the end it didn't cause me more pain...it brought me more peace. I was sad when he finally left me, but I was okay with it as well. It was almost 4 weeks from when I was first told I would mc until it happened. I don't think it was easy - but I think if you use the time to work on your own spiritual strength & journey, it doesn't have to be a horrendous ordeal. I am sorry you are facing such a hard thing...but try to use this time to do what you can to prepare your heart & soul. I am sorry I cannot offer you more - feel free to PM me anytime - my heart & thoughts are with you.


Much love-
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  #9  
August 23rd, 2006, 05:45 PM
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I'm so sorry for you. I had something similar happen, in that I wanted a D&C for my second loss, but my body beat me too it and I mc'd naturally at home before the bloodwork confirmed that the hcg levels were dropping. Having said that, I can say that I got to say goodbye to my baby at home, by myself, holding it in my hand, and I really did find peace in that moment. It was pretty psychologically traumatizing, but I think a D&C would have been just as bad, because then the baby would have just been gone with no closure.
Either way, it's an awful thing to have to go through, and I'll be praying for you.
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  #11  
August 23rd, 2006, 07:16 PM
Rylee&#39;sMommy03's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I am so sorry sweetie. I wish there was something I could say or do. Just know that we are all here for you hun.
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