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Nerves? Doubts? Truth? **update**


Forum: Recurrent Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss

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  #1  
August 28th, 2006, 08:58 AM
Rina42308's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Hi ladies,
As most of you kow Aug 29 is a big day for me and DH. We go in for an exam to see how things have healed after my surgery (surgery done on June 30th to remove scar tissue from past d and c's) and I am praying he tells us we can TTC righ away. I'm scared though. last night I had a dream about me having an u/s with a non-positive result and I couldn't get ahold of my dr to explain things to me. In my dream I was hysterical. Now normally I would say this is just anxiety creeping it's way out of my subconcious into my dream but it scares me because I dreamt all 3 of my m/c's before they happened. When i lost my twins I dreamt if EXACTLY as it ended up occurring...plus, I know it sound scrazy but I have had about 3 dreams about other people lately that have come true...
Also some of us over on the ttc after loss site got wrapped up in predictions over the internet. i posted to two ladies that we found. One answered me right away and told me I'd have a boy and related the month of Oct to me (which would make a lot of sense if we got the ok tomorrow to TTC) but Jenny, this other lady sent me a prediction of twin girls but did not state when it would happen. i knwo I am dumb for putting faith in online psyhics but I guess I have a little too much...it bothers me that the two predictions are so different, like maybe none are true at all and a baby may never be for us...I don't know. it all just nerve wracking I suppose.
Today I have to meet with my lawyer (for the accident that took Raven away) and my RE (yes I'll be seeing him 2 days in a row). That has me a bit nervous as well.
Having a baby should not have to be this hard.....
Any thoughts/insights would be appreciated.
Thanks ladies!
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  #2  
August 28th, 2006, 09:23 AM
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I've been thinking of you this weekend knowing that your appoinment was tomorrow. I can't tell you that things will be just fine, as you know...nobody knows that. But I can tell you that I'm praying and hoping that things will be fine, and that you're given the green light and a clean bill of health. The waiting is the hardest part, and we're here for you hun. I'll be on the edge of my seat all day tomorrow until I hear an update from you.
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  #3  
August 28th, 2006, 10:12 AM
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I hope today with the lawyer goes well and that tomorrow brings good news. Either way, we'll be here for you. Let us help relieve your stress.

As for the predictions, it's easy to get caught up in them. But you know that only God knows what is in store for you and is all you should really focus on. Treat the predictions as something fun to do, just to see how close they get to reality (or how far off they are!). I put in a ttc request with Jenny on June 27th that she still hasn't answered. I'm curious to see how she answers now that I'm pg. I don't plan to update my request. It's all in fun. The only thing I truly believe and put faith in is God.
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  #4  
August 28th, 2006, 01:17 PM
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Norina,
I truly pray that these two days go well for you. You deserve some good news and I hope you get it!

I'm sorry your dream scared you but I believe it was just a manifestation of your own fears and not a prediction. Even in our dreams...we are not objective about ourselves.

Much love to you and I'll checking constantly for an update on your lawyer meeting and tomorrow on your dr.s apt.

Love,
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  #5  
August 28th, 2006, 03:17 PM
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Sweetie, I have been thinking about you a lot over the past few days, sending you lots of positive energy.. I can't promise you that things will be great tomorrow, but I can promise you that you will get through whatever news you are given--good or bad. You have a lot of strength sweetie, and no matter what I know you will persevere. We're all here for you 100% every step of the way.. I'm going to continue sending positive thoughts your way in hopes that all goes well tomorrow and that you get the news you're wanting to hear (which, I want for you so badly as well). I have faith that things will work out, no matter what the outcome of your appointment.

Dreams can be very misleading when looking into them as if they are predictions. It's important to try to read them from a emotion standpoint instead of the actual events. So, I think that most likely the dreams you've had are manifestations of fears.. However, I understand what it's like to have a dream and watch something similar (or sometimes exactly the same) play out in real life right before your eyes. I just don't want you to get discouraged about having children because of dreams. Try to stay positive about it, even though it's hard, because you deserve children. And I know it can happen for you one way or another.

As for predictions, it has been my experience with psychics that you are told what you need to hear at the time of your reading, whether or not it is true. If you had one reading before another and had some subconscious reaction to it, that could explain the differences in the readings. Like, for instance, if you thought subconsciously when your first reading was that you would have a boy in October "I hope I get the chance to have a girl, too..." Then it is possible that that is why your next reading said twin girls.. Or, even if you weren't thinking it, psychics convey the messages from your guides, and you're guides know what you need to hear at that moment. It's possible that if you got a reading even an hour earlier or later it could have been a different result. Regardless, I think that the message you've been given is very clear.. I think the bottom line of both readings is that you will have children one way or another.

What is your heart telling you, sweetie?? Focus yourself on the idea of having children, work on really letting go of your fears and worries, and ask yourself what YOU believe.. And try to stay positive, even though I know it's not easy. I know I've said this before but.. Keep telling yourself that you will get to be a mother, not to get your hopes up, but to send some positive thinking into your body. Because one way or another, you are destined to have kids.

I hope all went well for you today with your lawyer and your RE, and that your appointment tomorrow goes well also. I love you, sweetie. I know you'll be okay, and I'm here for you every step of the way.
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  #6  
August 28th, 2006, 04:55 PM
lizard's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I have been thinking about you too. I am hoping that your meeting with your lawyer and your doctor went well today. I am also praying about your appointment tomorrow.

As for your dreams, I can totally relate. With both of my m/c, I had terrible terrible dreams about what was going to happen before it did. While I didn't dream to exact reality, I knew that I was going to m/c. Fast forward to last night. I was waiting on results from blood I had taken on Saturday. Last night I was having horrible dreams about what I would hear when I got the results today. I thnk that was my anxiety playing into my dreams, though because I didn't get the bad results that I was expecting. I am sure that the same thing will happen with you. You have so many people praying for you and you deserve to hear some good news, so I am sure that you will.

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  #7  
August 28th, 2006, 05:20 PM
srs srs is offline
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Norina,
How did it go with the lawyer today?
Good luck for tomorrow. I'll be praying for you.


By the way, last night must have been a bad one for dreams. I had one about having another mc too.
.
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  #8  
August 28th, 2006, 05:32 PM
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Good luck, I hope everything goes well for you.
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  #9  
August 28th, 2006, 07:47 PM
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Norina,

I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers! Let us know how things go with both the lawyer and the re.

Take Care!


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  #10  
August 28th, 2006, 09:31 PM
Rina42308's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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thank you ladies for all the kind words of encouragement, thoughts, and prayers. unfortunately today did not go well at all. Basically my RE can not say for certain that my loss was not going to happen anyway, which is what my lawyer says he needs to hear. i have been informed by my attorney that the insurance comapny of the other party will not dispute that the m/cwas caused by the accident but will say that it would have happened anyway because of my medical history. So it's a case of "you would have suffered either way" and it doesn't seem to matter to anyone that the accident is what brought about the m/c. I am tired and sad and angry. I don't know where we will go from here legally if anywhere. All i know is I am hurt.
i am don't feel real equipped to talk all about it now so I will end there and come back and tell you the whole story when I'm feeling more up to it.
I still have tomorrow's examination to go through...i hope that brings about better results.
i will touch base again tomorrow.
Thank you again.
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"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has." -Margaret Mead
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  #11  
August 29th, 2006, 05:55 AM
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Quote:
thank you ladies for all the kind words of encouragement, thoughts, and prayers. unfortunately today did not go well at all. Basically my RE can not say for certain that my loss was not going to happen anyway, which is what my lawyer says he needs to hear. i have been informed by my attorney that the insurance comapny of the other party will not dispute that the m/cwas caused by the accident but will say that it would have happened anyway because of my medical history. So it's a case of "you would have suffered either way" and it doesn't seem to matter to anyone that the accident is what brought about the m/c. I am tired and sad and angry. I don't know where we will go from here legally if anywhere. All i know is I am hurt.
i am don't feel real equipped to talk all about it now so I will end there and come back and tell you the whole story when I'm feeling more up to it.
I still have tomorrow's examination to go through...i hope that brings about better results.
i will touch base again tomorrow.
Thank you again.[/b]
Oh sweetie.. I am so sorry. It seems like the legal system rarely sides with the victim, or at least it seems that way from my experience.. It makes sense that you're so angry and hurt.. You don't deserve this. Just as you can't say for certain that you wouldn't have m/c'd anyways, no one can say for certain that you would have.. I'm so sorry hun. I wish there was something I could say or do to make this better for you.

I'll be thinking of you today as you go for your examination.. And I will continue to pray that this brings positive results. I'm here for you sweetie..
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</div>
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  #12  
August 29th, 2006, 08:07 AM
4iris's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm sorry the meeting with the lawyer didn't go well. I was hoping for a better outcome for you. Keeping you in my prayers today for a good follow up with the RE.
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  #13  
August 29th, 2006, 08:10 AM
candacesoon's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Oh Norina, I'm so sorry things went down like that at your meeting. It's really unfair. I'm praying that your checkup today brings good news.

Love,
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  #14  
August 29th, 2006, 08:26 AM
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So sorry for the rough times you are going through. You are in my thoughts. I wish you the best of luck!
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  #15  
August 29th, 2006, 05:06 PM
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I'm so sorry hun that things didn't go well yesterday.

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  #16  
August 29th, 2006, 05:13 PM
srs srs is offline
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Sorry to hear about yesterday. Hoe did today go? I've been thinking about you.
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  #17  
August 29th, 2006, 07:16 PM
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Norina,
I hope everything went well and you have an update for us soon!!!!! Anyone heard from her?
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  #18  
August 29th, 2006, 07:23 PM
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Quote:
Norina,
I hope everything went well and you have an update for us soon!!!!! Anyone heard from her?[/b]
I've heard from Norina, and just to ease everyone's mind, the appointment with the RE went well today.. I feel more comfortable letting Norina tell the details of the different things that are going on, but no worries.. The healing from the surgery looks good!
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</div>
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  #19  
August 29th, 2006, 09:12 PM
Rina42308's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Hi again ladies...thank you so much for thinking about me and sending so many well wishes.
As Nicole said, I'm doing ok. I went to the RE today and he completed a sonohystogram which revelavedI have healed well from the last surgery. he did find one little scar but it's no where near where the septum was so he said he feels conifdent it won't provide any problems. I am off the estrogen today and starting provera for 10 days...this will make me have a period. then I am to use OV strips to find out when I O...he says to have 'relations" (I think it's funny he used that word) that night and the following morning and thenm I have to take progesterone from that point foward. he thinks I'll get pg this next cycle...we will see...
It's been a tough day...one of the reasons I haven't been on to update till now is all the fighting Dh and I have been doing. Basically I don't feel the emotional support I need from him with this latest encounter with the attorney as well as today's test. It's a long story so i won't bore you but let's just say he is extrememly clueless about how this all effects me emotionally speaking...or rather he thinks it shouldn't affect me so. Anyway we've spent a lot of time talking things out and are in an "ok" spot I suppose at this point.
I thought I would be happier about today's news...instead I'm down, upset, teary...it's all so overwelming. i guess with Dh's antics and the lawyer's it's really put a damper on my good news.
It makes me sad and angry that so much has overshadowed this occassion. i amke myself angry that I am allowing other things to take away the blessing that has been told to me today. What is wrong with me? Any thoughts???
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  #20  
August 30th, 2006, 07:32 AM
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Norina,
So glad you got the good news. Don't feel bad for not being excited yet. Everything that's going on right now for you must be so overwhelming. In the DH department, I doubt you are alone. I have the most kind and compassionate DH I could ever ask for, but even he can't really understand what it has been like for me. An added problem here is that he is a biology prof so he knows the textbook version of human development. He knows that what I lost was the size of a grape and looked more like a clump of tissue than a baby. It is hard for him to understand how I could develop a bond with the fetus so soon, but he admits that he can't truely understand and supports me as best he can. I guess just like us every DH/SU deals with this stuff in their own way. I'm glad you are working it out and wish you the best.
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