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Having a poo day...


Forum: Recurrent Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss

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  #1  
September 6th, 2006, 11:45 AM
ambee's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 5,740
I know it's been a while since I've posted, but I'm just having a crappy day and I knew you were the ladies to lift me up. It's nothing in particular...except that the girl that I told you guys about a few weeks ago (the one that was really ugly to me the day after I lost my 3rd baby) has stuff posted everywhere about her pregnancy and her doctor's appointments. She's 12 weeks now, which means that I would have been 9...yet her I sit still with no babies, even after 3 pregnancies. I can't believe that the next time I get pregnant will be my 4th pregnancy, that just seems crazy to me. She had to go to the ER, and everything was fine, which I'm glad about. But I can't help but wonder why, for everyone else, is everything ok but if it were me I just know it wouldn't be. I know I'm not making any sense but I just find myself becoming really bitter some days. My due date for my Sophie is coming up in just a few months, and I can't help but thinking that I'd be a hugely, uncomfortable yet happy pregnant woman right now. I'd have her nursery set all up and I wouldn't be feeling these pains of absolutel loss...plus I wouldn't have lost this 3rd baby either. Blah...
I'm still not going to get in to see an RE for a few months...I just want to get the whole process started so that I can start focusing on some kind of future. Because this intermediary stuff is driving me batty. Mostly I have good days, but today is just not one of them...
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Sophie Lucille: In my life for a moment, in my heart for a lifetime. May 25th, 2006 at 16 weeks.
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  #2  
September 6th, 2006, 11:53 AM
4iris's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Midwest
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I'm sorry you're having such a rough day. Sometimes things just pile up and you can't think about anything else. I hate those days. Having a constant reminder, such as the girl you know, doesn't help either. I'm glad you came here. We do understand. I think we've all wondered why things work for everyone else except us. With our histories, it's hard NOT to think that. You're definitely not alone. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.
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  #3  
September 6th, 2006, 02:29 PM
Mari13007's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Maryland
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I'm so sorry that you are having a bad day I wish I was more elequaint (sp?) with my words but just know that all bad days come to an end. I wonder the same thing quite often, how everything seems to work out so well for everyone else except me, but I know my time will come, I have faith that the day will come, and it will come for you as well. God Bless.
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  #4  
September 6th, 2006, 04:23 PM
StephLS's Avatar Super Mommy
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Posts: 653
I'm glad you came to "lean" on us. I can definitely identify with what you're going through. My sister is due to have her unplanned baby at the end of this month. I've been lucky in that we live a couple hours away from each other. However, a few weekends ago was her shower... that was rough to deal with. But I got through it.

I understand with wanting to get a move on with the r/e. Its hard to move forward when there are so many things unanswered. The best we can do is to take one day at a time (as crappy as they might be sometimes).

Take Care!

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  #5  
September 6th, 2006, 04:44 PM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Michigan
Posts: 12,330
Grrrrrr - I hate this for you! Norina (from here at JM) and I used to talk alot about how we wished there was a moratorium (sp?) on all further pg until we got this thing handled. It drives you crazy to see everyone else move on happily with their lives & make it seem so absolutely easy. I even hate how many times I have heard someone say to me that they spotted once, or had a short "scare" of a mc - so they understand... It also makes me crazy because even now with everything looking okay - I don't feel okay. I feel like everyone around me will probably go on to have healthy babies & I will be mourning #5. It seems absurd to me to think any differently at this point. You are soooooooo not alone in any of this. I am really glad you came here to write about it. If there is any place on the earth where these feelings will be understood - it is definitely here. It is also sooooo completely understandable that you would have such a hard time dealing with that woman & her pg. Christmas last year was awful for me. I had 1 cousin who had a baby around my 1st due date, another that was very far along in her pg & another about 5 months along. All I could think was that I had twins that were due Nov 2nd & we would have come to the party that year as a family - not the couple everyone feels "sorry for"...because worse yet I had mc again before the party - so I had 3 babies lost to me & evidence in my face of 3 babies that other women were bringing home. It was probably the lowest point in my grieving....but who knows - there have been many. I wish I had a way to make this easier for you - all I can say is that it makes it easier for me to know I am not alone & that everyone here gets it at least - even if these ladies are the only ones. I know I am not insane. I know that even my ugly feelings are normal & it doesn't make me a bad person - just a wounded one. If there is anything I can do - anytime - feel free to PM. I hope today was just the poopers - but passes quickly....and I am so sorry the RE is taking so long to see you!!! That really stinks to have to wait to even start the tests.
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  #6  
September 6th, 2006, 06:13 PM
srs srs is offline
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Sorry to hear it's been a rough one. Definitely come here and get it all out whenever you need to.
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  #7  
September 6th, 2006, 11:30 PM
Rina42308's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: CA
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You said in your post you felt you weren't making sense...we must speak the same language honey because I was with you every step of the way through that post. i have felt all that you spoke of either before or currently and will probably continue to feel in the future too. i also have been pg 3 times and lost 4 babies (1 pg was twins)...my next pg whenever that is, will be #4 pregnancy...yet in still I know so many people, some of whom seem to get everythng they want in life, get pg, have an easy pg, and carry to term. Right now I personally know 7 people who are pregnant IRL...and none have ever had a m/c...how is that possible...I thought the stat was like 1 in 4 or 5...I guess my multiple losses took a few for the team there huh?
Ok enough cynism from me, that's not what you need! On the other hand though, hopefully it shows you you're not alone...we all have poopy days when we've been dealt poopy cards in life. Have faith though. i know God...He will have better for us...i just know it. Our time will come...why we have to have so much pain in the meantime, I do not know, but His love for us I do.
Pm me anytime you need to have some chit chat, advice, or support...we're all here for you! Oh and I rmember waiting what seemed like forever to see the RE, get the tests done, get the results, then have surgery (my problem required surgery)...the wait is tourcherous..but I am finally healed or so they say almost a YEAR later and i made it...We're suppose to be able to ttc this next cycle. We'll see what happens...but if I made it sweetie, you will too. Hold on, lean on us, you will make it.
Hugs,
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  #8  
September 8th, 2006, 11:16 AM
ambee's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 5,740
Thank you all sooo much for your replies. I've felt much better these past few days. I just keep thinking that this will all get easier and that I'll be healed. But I just don't think it will ever be that simple. Beck and Norina your posts made me cry, but in a good way. It's just so nice to feel so understood. I wish you ladies hadn't been though what you have, but I am so glad that I've got such great friends to share this tough journey with.
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Sophie Lucille: In my life for a moment, in my heart for a lifetime. May 25th, 2006 at 16 weeks.
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