Log In Sign Up

So right now


Forum: Recurrent Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Recurrent Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
September 28th, 2006, 03:45 PM
*Firefly*'s Avatar Girlfriend and Blogger
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 24,398
I feel so frustrated. It doesn't seem to matter how much time passes i feel the pain i felt the day I lost all three of my angels... it just keeps hurting and hurting and hurting... It never stops, ony for a split second in a day when i wake up that it all isn't true and they are all alive... they are all here, I can smell that wonderful new born baby smell. Then i remember I wake up and I remember that I will never hold my angels in my arms only ever in my heart... it kills me everyday just that little bit more.

And in the paper you read about people who abuse children, and then you ask yourself why the hell your babies where so cruelly stolen from you and why another helpless child was born into violence... there is no justice.
I love my baby angels so much... i will never forget them.

It jsut drives me mad that I can't ever see them properly or hold them and feel their weight in my arms and sing to them and hush them and watch them grow through all the bad things and the good things...
__________________
Cause I know my weakness, know my voice,
Now I believe in grace and choice,
And I know perhaps my heart is farce,
But Iíll be born without a mask
~ Babel, Mumford & Sons



Reply With Quote
  #2  
September 28th, 2006, 06:20 PM
Rina42308's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: CA
Posts: 2,991
i hear you...i can feel the pain through your post. This is all very common what you speak of....I can empathize greatly as these are feelings I know well. Just yesterday I had a client tell me her sister had an abortion last month at 4 months pg... the VERY first thought I had was "and that girl gets to have kids" (she already has two). it can be enraging to think about if you let it. THe only thing that helps me through this is realizing that life is not without hurt, or pain...that soemtimes bad things happen with no explanation at all. I try and try to have faith that God/the universe/whatever it is positive that you beleive in can and will bring good into our lives. No, nothing will replace our lost babies...nothing can make up for their deaths...but we can still experience happiness and miss them at the same time. You are deserving of that. Continue to express yourself here...it will help. we are alwahys here for you!!!
Love,
__________________
Mommy to miracle baby 4/23/08 and four babies in heaven:lost 3/22/05 edd 10/28/05, lost 5/25/05 edd 12/26/05, lost 1/31/06 edd 9/19/06

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has." -Margaret Mead
Reply With Quote
  #3  
October 3rd, 2006, 09:21 AM
4iris's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Midwest
Posts: 10,732
How are you doing Ellie? I'm sorry I didn't see this post sooner. It is so frustrating to see others who don't seem deserving having no trouble carrying babies to term or even abusing that blessing. Like Norina, I've only found comfort by giving those frustrations to God and letting him show me how He's working in my life. The babies that we've lost will always be a part of us and have helped form the strong women that all of us are today. While you can't hold them physically, you can always hold them in your heart.
__________________
Do not sorrow; the joy of the Lord is your strength." Neh. 8:10
Reply With Quote
  #4  
October 3rd, 2006, 02:47 PM
*Firefly*'s Avatar Girlfriend and Blogger
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 24,398
I'm a complete mess to be perfectly honest with you, I just cry when i'm on my own at night... its been over a year and I don't feel like I've really learnt to live with it at all... its all so real still like it happened yesterday...
__________________
Cause I know my weakness, know my voice,
Now I believe in grace and choice,
And I know perhaps my heart is farce,
But Iíll be born without a mask
~ Babel, Mumford & Sons



Reply With Quote
  #5  
October 4th, 2006, 07:27 PM
srs srs is offline
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 2,421
I know where you're coming from. Underneath it all, the pain is still there and the "why" question remains - I can't seem to get past it.
Have you tried any kind of therapy? I only ask because it might help you out some and maybe ease the pain. I'm way behind on posts on the board, so I'm sorry if you have said this already and I missed it.
I'm glad you found us, and I hope we can help.
__________________
Sara

Need Breastfeeding Support?





Reply With Quote
  #6  
October 5th, 2006, 12:30 PM
*Firefly*'s Avatar Girlfriend and Blogger
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 24,398
I can't afford a therapist and my parents don't know about my angels, and there is certainly no point in telling them now, if anything it will make it worse for me...
I just really wonder sometiems what I did to deserve this pain...
__________________
Cause I know my weakness, know my voice,
Now I believe in grace and choice,
And I know perhaps my heart is farce,
But Iíll be born without a mask
~ Babel, Mumford & Sons



Reply With Quote
  #7  
October 5th, 2006, 05:04 PM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Michigan
Posts: 12,330
Oh sweetie - I am sorry you can't turn to your parents for support. It seems like that would make it all the harder for you. Do they have any counselling available through school perhaps that might be confidentail & still offer you some additional support?
__________________
B - Crazy momma to my two boys
We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. ~Gloria Steinem

If a man has been his mother's undisputed darling he retains throughout life the triumphant feeling, the confidence in success, which not seldom brings actual success along with it. ~Sigmund Freud
My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon
Don't wait to make your son a great man - make him a great boy. ~Author Unknown
You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes. ~Walter M. Schirra, Sr.
A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. ~Irish Proverb
Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved. ~Erich Fromm
Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert
Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children. ~William Makepeace Thackeray
God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers. ~Jewish Proverb
The best conversations with mothers always take place in silence, when only the heart speaks. ~Carrie Latet




Reply With Quote
  #8  
October 6th, 2006, 07:39 AM
4iris's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Midwest
Posts: 10,732
Churches are another great place to find support and counseling. My pastor is also a grief counselor and was a wonderful help to me through out losses.
__________________
Do not sorrow; the joy of the Lord is your strength." Neh. 8:10
Reply With Quote
  #9  
October 6th, 2006, 03:19 PM
*Firefly*'s Avatar Girlfriend and Blogger
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 24,398
I'm not religious.. .I don't believe because of my losses.
The thing is because i'm in the bit between high school and University they can still tell my parents if they believe i might harm myself which they would because of my temptations to cut so it would defeat the point. Even though I'm 18 and technically an adult now.
__________________
Cause I know my weakness, know my voice,
Now I believe in grace and choice,
And I know perhaps my heart is farce,
But Iíll be born without a mask
~ Babel, Mumford & Sons



Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:38 AM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0