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Forum: Recurrent Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss

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  #1  
October 6th, 2006, 08:26 AM
4iris's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Question of the day: If you were guaranteed a healthy baby, but it would take 3 more losses first, could you go through that?

-------------------------------

Honestly, I'm not sure I could. It would take an incredible amount of faith and strength that could only come from God to survive even one more loss, much less three, even with the guarantee of a blessing at the end of it. I just don't know if I could do it.
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  #2  
October 6th, 2006, 01:20 PM
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If I was GUARANTEED a healthy baby after...absolutely! I would focus on the end goal to get me through the pain. I figure it would be easier than what I've gone through this past year with no guarantee and still having 3 losses.

We've been childless for so many years and yearn for a baby so badly I'd do almost anything right now.
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  #3  
October 6th, 2006, 07:11 PM
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YES YES AND YES!! I had a psychic tell me that I would have my baby with me some day and I continued to get pg and m/c because I believed her and knew I would have one when it was his time. I know my little man is here because he was meant to be here. He makes all of it worth it.
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  #4  
October 7th, 2006, 06:45 PM
ambee's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Yes, without question. When I first got pregnant, had you told me that I would lose three little angels I know that I never would have believed that I'd have been strong enough to endure it. But by the grace of God I did. If I knew that the end result would be a perfect little baby, then I would absolutely endure another 3.
Like Nykoal said, I've endured 3 already without the gurantee of a baby, and I know that I will try again. I don't know when, or if, I'll ever reach the point where I just can't try again. But I know that time's not now...
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  #5  
October 9th, 2006, 06:07 AM
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I read this the day you posted it and really couldn't answer but it was something that stuck with me all weekend, yesterday my husband asked me if I wanted to take some kind of birth control.... Which for us was weird, because we have had fertility issues and needed Dr's help in the past... BUT our last pregnancy, which we lost last month was a complete surprise! So... that's why he asked. It's kinda funny to see the stages we have gone through. We were both devastated when we lost Charlie last September, however we were ready to try again immediately. When we lost that baby at 15 weeks in March, my husband said right there in the Dr's office... never again! My Dr. even remembers the look on his face and how adamant he was about it. Then within the next couple of months, he asked me several times if I was ready to try again, I told him time and time again that I wasn't even ready to talk about it, I told him I would talk about it in October. We didn't use any kind of birth control because as I said, we had needed the Dr's help before. Well.. to our amazement, we found out in July that we were expecting. Although we lost that baby last month and I wasn't sure that I wanted to go through that again, this QOTD made me think long and hard about it. When my husband asked me if I wanted to take birth control yesterday, I was quick to answer NO!

So.... My answer is, I would go through it 10 more times if the end result is bringing home a healthy baby. My husband by the way agrees at this point... he was more concerned about my mental well being when he asked about the prevention, but he actually said, sometimes we go through these things and have alot of heartache to get what we want from life.

Thank you for asking this question and forcing me to give it some serious thought.

Karen
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1st Loss~08/14/00-No EDD
03/10/92-My beautiful daughter Kalina's Birthday!
05/12/94-My beautiful daughter Sierra's Birthday!
2nd Loss at 28 weeks~09/12/05 (Charlie's angel day - Trisomy 18)
3rd Loss at 15 weeks~03/04/06-EDD 08/23/06
4th Loss at 9 1/2 weeks~09/12/06-EDD 04/08/07
5th Loss at 9 1/2 weeks~girl 01/14/08-EDD 07/23/08
6th Loss at 19 weeks~10/04/08 (Joey's angel Day - Cord accident)</div>

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  #6  
October 9th, 2006, 08:05 AM
4iris's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Once again you ladies amaze me with your strength and faith!
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  #7  
October 9th, 2006, 11:21 AM
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I've also been mulling on this all weekend and decided that my answer is definitely yes. My miscarriages have all been very early, I've only known I was pregnant for about a week before I miscarried (same thing all 4 times.) I'm not sure I'd answer the same way if I miscarried after several months though. I don't know how you all survive when the miscarriages occur after you've got a due date, seen an ultrasound, heard a heart beat or chosen a name. Not that my losses have been easy but in a perverse way I do feel lucky that at least they were early. So yeah, I could deal with it 3 more times with a guarantee of a healthy baby. So how do I go about getting that kind of guarantee from some one?! And given that I'm obviously not going to get that guarantee, do I want to go through it 3 more times anyway? That's the real question.
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  #8  
October 9th, 2006, 04:38 PM
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Quote:
And given that I'm obviously not going to get that guarantee, do I want to go through it 3 more times anyway? That's the real question.[/b]
That's the part that gets me.

I would go through it though if I HAD the guarantee. I know I would - because I want a baby.
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  #9  
October 9th, 2006, 10:05 PM
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I think now that knowing how badly I wanted my children and love them I would go through it without the guarantee. I think about it sometimes and realize that I lost 7 babies, 7 little souls. I wonder if I could do that again and then I look at both of my boys and the answer is yes. My experience has made my 17 year old understand the depth of my love and commitment to his existence. HE KNOWS in his heart that I wanted him and his brother so badly that I suffered for them. He has such a big heart and so much compassion for me and my sacrifice to give him life.
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  #10  
October 11th, 2006, 11:23 AM
4iris's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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It's funny, I'm not really sure what sorts of answers I'd expected to this question, but you all have blown me away with your depth of insight and your strength. You are all truly amazing mothers!!
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