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Forum: Recurrent Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss

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  #1  
October 8th, 2006, 07:25 PM
ambee's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 5,740
I have another forum that I visit often, but it's for military wives. I posted the poem that I posted in here as well, and let me tell you I was reemed by so many people for it. They told me basically that I was selfish for saying I would be a better mother (which of course I never said, being that I DIDN'T WRITE THE POEM!) And the subject said "For those who have experienced loss or infertility..." So it's beyond me why someone who HAS NEVER GONE THROUGH THESE THINGS would read it and then JUDGE me. OOH...I even got in trouble by a mod. Why can't people just shut their stupid traps for once, and let it go?

I even explained that I don't believe I'll be a better mother than all mothers who have never experienced loss, but that there are mothers who have not been through these things who don't appreciate it as much as mothers who have lost babies, or were told by their doctors that they'd never be able to have children. Of course, most of the women who have experienced these things found it inspiring, it's just those who've had it easy that took offense to it. Grr...
Guess this should be a reminder to just stick with those who actually understand...I hate small minded people. I swear these people will argue just for the sake of arguing.
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  #2  
October 8th, 2006, 08:33 PM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Michigan
Posts: 12,330
Awwww hun - I am sorry you got such a rdue response. I think people are just defensive. Every woman wants to feel they are hte best mom out there & any inference that they might not be throws some on the defense immediately. Don't sweat it - I have had my own butt torn a few times as well. Others don't understand & if they've never been here they never will. How can one person truly understand the depth of another's appreciation? They can't. They can't understand the pain, the hurt, the anger, or how hurtful people that don't understand or empathize can be. Even those that try often fail if you talk the issue through long enough - inevitably there is some part they truly don't get. I am sorry you feel bad about what happened & hope you don't take it too personal. ((hugs))
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We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. ~Gloria Steinem

If a man has been his mother's undisputed darling he retains throughout life the triumphant feeling, the confidence in success, which not seldom brings actual success along with it. ~Sigmund Freud
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  #3  
October 9th, 2006, 08:10 AM
4iris's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Midwest
Posts: 10,732
I'm sorry they treated you so horribly. They obviously missed completely the message the poem conveyed. I would never wish loss on anyone, but it makes it so much harder for others to understand where we are coming from when they haven't experienced loss themselves. You're welcome here, as much as you want to be.
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Do not sorrow; the joy of the Lord is your strength." Neh. 8:10
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