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Do you worry about what will happen the next time you're pg? Or do you kind of expect it to go like your others?
I worried some when we started ttc after loss #2, but once I tested positive, the worry REALLY kicked in. I've relaxed a bit now, but I still get worked up before each appointment thinking that will be the time they tell me it's not working. I've got the blood pressure scores to prove it! The nurse just laughs and asks me when I'm going to relax. I tell her when this one graduates from college. She thinks I'm joking.
Do not sorrow; the joy of the Lord is your strength." Neh. 8:10
i am afraid that i will never feel comfortable being pregnant again. this last pregnancy i was relieved every week my water didn't break. i didn't even think there would not be a heartbeat. i too was just letting my guard down, i had finally made my first baby purchase, a little onsie with ducks on it. i didn't want to go to crazy, i knew we would be finding out the sex very soon. even my mom had started shopping for things for the baby, which after the loss before this one, she said she wasn't going to do until i was further along. i really hope next time i can find a way to have a little joy and excitement, but i don't think i will ever feel relief again until the baby is born and in my arms.
I can't say what I'll be like. When I got pg the 2nd time I felt confident once we found out it wasn't another ectopic, but then we had the m/c and that stirred up a whole new set of fears and anxiety. When I found out I was pg a 3rd time I wasn't overly excited because I feared having another m/c. Sure enough I did (even though it was unrelated to anything and a result of the scar tissue from the D&C).
As for a next time...part of me feels like it will never happen, and if it does I lose that one as well. I have nothing else to go on right now and don't even know if my body can even handle being pg.
I was terrified of what would happen while I was pg with my baby boy. I was so sure that after 6 m/c's I would never be able to carry another child. I just assumed they would all end the same way the others did. Every time I went to the bathroom I would check the tp for blood. I even did this in my 7th month!! The fear never went away. Now that I'm considering ttc again (after swearing it off for good) I'm wondering if the cycle will start all over again and if my two boys were just miracles. I don't know if I want to risk losing 6 more. So many things to think about.
Oh boy do I worry!! I lost our first pregnancy and when I did conceive again I couldnt get excited until i was almost half way through my pregnancy. Then After we lost Dax at 23 wks, I just thought this will surely never happen to us again- how much more can we take---well then pregnant again and m/c. That was the biggest blow we have delt with. So when we conceive again I think every little thing is going to have me scared to death. Its sad that we cant share our excitement with everyone for fear of something happening.
With my two earlier losses, I guess I just thought they were flukes. With Delaney...I wasn't really worried. Once I knew that it wasn't eptopic (like my 2nd loss) and then I made it past 7 weeks (time of 1st loss), I thought I would actually be bringing a baby home. With the chem. pg. I had last month now I have one more worry. I got a BFP this morning but part of me just knows that it will be BFN tomorrow and it will stay that way.
So, I may be pregnant right now and I'm terrified. How can I stay positive when I've had so much loss in my life. But I'm the one who chose to try again so the uncertainty everyday must be the price I will have to pay.
After my first loss, there was no way to measure the amount of worry that I had while I was pregnant with Rylan. I always said, if I can make to 10 weeks . . . if I can make it 20 weeks . . . if I can make it to 40 weeks, I'll be fine. Hell, I still worry and he's nearly 2!
The worry never ends. With my last three pregnancies, I worried a lot, too. Now that we are thinking about ttc again, the worry just starts over.
With my first misscarriage I hoped that it was just a one off thing and I would never misscarry again but then when I did misscarry again I panicked when I found out I was pregnant withthis baby and I still do. every week I am glad I am that much further along but I still check the TP in case I am bleeding and I still worry if baby doesnt kick as much as I think he should I will continue to worry until my lil boy is here.