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Starting to lose my nerve...


Forum: Natural Childbirth

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  #1  
May 7th, 2008, 03:32 PM
itsmenatalie's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Utah
Posts: 3,805
Ok, so I'm due in less than 2 weeks and have been fully committed to an unmedicated birth. I had just 1 dose of IV meds with my son and this time around I want nothing.

However...the closer it gets the more scared I get and I wonder if it's worth it. Why do I want to put myself through that? Wouldn't it be easier to just get the epi and sit back and relax?

Anway...anyone want to remind me why it's worth it? Why do you want a natural birth? If you've done it recently was it worth it, and why?

I just need to get brave again!

Thanks Mommies!
-Natalie
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Natalie - Mom to Brad (Oct 2005) and Lucy (May 2008) and married to my best friend, Joe for 8 years.




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  #2  
May 7th, 2008, 03:44 PM
ShaunaB's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 2,522
Can't help much because I haven't gone through it myself yet, but I would suggest thinking about the reasons you wanted to have a natural birth in the first place. It might also help to read successful NCB stories. I especially like those in Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. This will give you confidence to know you can do it too.

Congrats on the coming baby! We look forward to reading your birth story.
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  #3  
May 7th, 2008, 03:54 PM
noworries
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Posts: n/a
It's totally worth it! And you are not putting yourself "through" anything bad....you are birthing your precious baby. You can do it!
I personally wanted my natural birth because I had heard too many epidural horror stories. And the natural birth was not really painful, it was totally doable. You can sit back and relax without getting an epidural. You just need to educate and prepare yourself.
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  #4  
May 7th, 2008, 07:52 PM
moon~maiden's Avatar Cheryl~ birth truster
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: south eastern Mass
Posts: 13,088
Hey there!

Personally I wanted a natural birth because I was much more afraid of what could happen the other way around. I think getting the epidural "hands" the control over to the staff, and all of the sudden the epi leads to a catheter, which leads to more and more interventions, especially if things aren't going as fast as they would "like to see" or if the Dr just wants to get home. Your chances of a C-Section go way way up in that situation. I personally consider the moments right after birth to be extremely important, and I would rather spend it bonding than being stitched up, having my baby go to the nursery and have to be manhandled instead of being in my arms, snuggled on my chest, just being with me. Also, the epidural blocks the release of natural oxytocin also called "the love cocktail".

Have you seen the business of being born? Netflix has it and it is fantastic. So well made and I think a great watch! Also as Carrie mentioned the book Ina May's guide to childbirth is as inspirational as it gets.

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  #5  
May 8th, 2008, 09:06 AM
itsmenatalie's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Utah
Posts: 3,805
Thanks for your responses. I do think I'm going to watch the business of being born this weekend to get me psyched up again! I know I can do it and it will be worth it!
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Natalie - Mom to Brad (Oct 2005) and Lucy (May 2008) and married to my best friend, Joe for 8 years.




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  #6  
May 8th, 2008, 09:24 AM
moon~maiden's Avatar Cheryl~ birth truster
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: south eastern Mass
Posts: 13,088
seriously, you will feel like a super woman for making it through! I transitioned really quickly and with back labor I did spend about 40 minutes thinking about how I couldn't do it, but that is totally normal. Just take it one contraction at a time, and make sure you have some sort of code word with your birth partner to let them know the difference between saying you want drugs and REALLY meaning it. You don't want someone that isn't on the same page as you. Have them read the bradley method chapter and the book "the birth partner" as well.

YOU CAN DO IT!!
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  #7  
May 8th, 2008, 09:43 AM
Husher's Avatar B & E complete me.
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: NH
Posts: 10,622
It's normal to get a bit nervous about but you CAN do this! Your body was made to do this and you will be soooo glad you stuck with it when your LO is born and you are holding her in your arms for the first time. Epidurals can stall labor and make your chances of needing a c-section higher. Plus, I've heard so many horror stories where women get the epidural and it goes in wrong and hurts their back or doesn't work at all. Why go through all that to get an epidural just to birth naturally anyway?

YOU CAN DO IT!!!

I can't wait to read your birth story!!
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  #8  
May 8th, 2008, 12:45 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: TEXAS
Posts: 6,494
Im right there with you! We will do it together. LOL.
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Emme 5/26/2008 (midwife at freestanding birth center)
Pierce 11/28/2009 (midwife at freestanding birth center)
and Surprise Baby #4 due 11/13/2011
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  #9  
May 8th, 2008, 08:29 PM
itsmenatalie's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Utah
Posts: 3,805
Thanks so much for the encouraging words! You ladies are awesome!
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Natalie - Mom to Brad (Oct 2005) and Lucy (May 2008) and married to my best friend, Joe for 8 years.




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  #10  
May 8th, 2008, 09:55 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 631
I just had my second all natural birth and I looooved it! I was more nervous coming up to this one for some reason, but it went really well and it was totally different than my first labor. (both of my birth stories are posted)
I love that I could walk right away. I love that moment right as the baby is born where the intense pressure dissapears and you feel like your on the top of the world. I feel like Superwoman after giving birth! You can relax during a natural birth, water helps alot! I reccomend reading the chapters on pain management and relaxation in "The Birth Book" by Dr Spears, it really helped give me confidance going into the birth.
Melissa
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  #11  
May 10th, 2008, 02:54 PM
mothra's Avatar Martha
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 4,906
i needed a little confidence booster here, too...5 weeks left! ahh! some days i am totally determined and confident and just know it will all be fine. others...not so much! but i hear thats normal. lol. we can do it, natalie!!
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  #12  
May 10th, 2008, 05:48 PM
Ali15's Avatar LovingMy3Miracles
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 4,175
I wish I had noticed this board during my pregnancy...I might've gotten some good pointers and some added confidence about NCB if I had. But I've noticed it now and I had my baby last month, so figured I'd offer my own words to you all who haven't had your babies yet and want to do it naturally.

I wanted a NCB mostly because I didn't want to put anything in my body that I (and the baby) really didn't need. Plus, I've heard it can slow down labor. ...And finally, I've watched someone else get an epi personally and...if I had a choice...no thanks!

My experience with NCB was terrific. That's not to say it was easy. I won't lie...it was hard, but I did it and you can do it, too. I had good support in my DH and my mom (holding my hands, wiping my forehead with a damp cool cloth, telling me I was doing great and that I could do it - even when I didn't think I could). I had music playing. I focused on my breathing. And I ended up only being in labor for five hours (and only pushed for 35 minutes). ...And that is pretty darn good for a first pregnancy from what I've heard. It took me a while to get to 5cm, but once I got there, believe it or not, I went from 5cm to complete in 15 minutes! The nurses were shocked! Anyway, try different positions if you can. I thought I'd want to walk around, rock on the exercise (birthing) ball, sqat, etc., but as it turns out I was most comfortable just laying back, relaxing and breathing through my contractions. So try different things and see what works for you. Going natural you'll have the ability to move around - so if that suits you, take advantage.

I can't compare a NCB with a medicated one, but I'm glad I stuck with my original plans to go natural. After my baby's head was out the relief was amazing and I knew within seconds I would be holding my baby on my chest. The feeling after I was holding my baby, knowing that I had accomplished my goal and that we were both healthy and great.... It was an amazing experience. I wouldn't change my labor and delivery for anything. It went great.

It's tough, but you can do it. Remember to keep believing in yourself.
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  #13  
May 10th, 2008, 08:57 PM
Husher's Avatar B & E complete me.
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: NH
Posts: 10,622
Quote:
I wish I had noticed this board during my pregnancy...I might've gotten some good pointers and some added confidence about NCB if I had. But I've noticed it now and I had my baby last month, so figured I'd offer my own words to you all who haven't had your babies yet and want to do it naturally.

I wanted a NCB mostly because I didn't want to put anything in my body that I (and the baby) really didn't need. Plus, I've heard it can slow down labor. ...And finally, I've watched someone else get an epi personally and...if I had a choice...no thanks!

My experience with NCB was terrific. That's not to say it was easy. I won't lie...it was hard, but I did it and you can do it, too. I had good support in my DH and my mom (holding my hands, wiping my forehead with a damp cool cloth, telling me I was doing great and that I could do it - even when I didn't think I could). I had music playing. I focused on my breathing. And I ended up only being in labor for five hours (and only pushed for 35 minutes). ...And that is pretty darn good for a first pregnancy from what I've heard. It took me a while to get to 5cm, but once I got there, believe it or not, I went from 5cm to complete in 15 minutes! The nurses were shocked! Anyway, try different positions if you can. I thought I'd want to walk around, rock on the exercise (birthing) ball, sqat, etc., but as it turns out I was most comfortable just laying back, relaxing and breathing through my contractions. So try different things and see what works for you. Going natural you'll have the ability to move around - so if that suits you, take advantage.

I can't compare a NCB with a medicated one, but I'm glad I stuck with my original plans to go natural. After my baby's head was out the relief was amazing and I knew within seconds I would be holding my baby on my chest. The feeling after I was holding my baby, knowing that I had accomplished my goal and that we were both healthy and great.... It was an amazing experience. I wouldn't change my labor and delivery for anything. It went great.

It's tough, but you can do it. Remember to keep believing in yourself.[/b]
I'm so glad you found us here! I would love to read your birth story. Have you already posted it here?
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  #14  
May 10th, 2008, 11:58 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 4,930
Lurking here. I had my second natural and my first medicated. I will tell you it is totally worth it! To me the two births are like night and day. I love both children the same, but the bonding was so much better the second time around. The first time I kept wondering why I didn't feel so happy I wanted to cry. The second time I didn't cry either, but I was so filled with love looking at that little baby. I feel that bonding still happened with the first, but was just better with the second.

Also the recovery was amazing. I was weak both times from hemorrhaging, but the second time I was up and walking much sooner and out of there 12 hours later. Would have been sooner if not for the the bleeding thing. The early contractions were not all that bad. Transition ones were tough, but you are so engrossed in them and truly in "labor land", the time goes so quickly you are surprised when they say you are complete. Pushing was painful for me, but over so quickly. It is true you just feel like super woman when you are done! You feel like "If I could do that, I can do anything!" I have felt a lot of self confidence emerge, just with that experience. If I feel nervous I still remind myself that if I could take natural childbirth, I have nothing to worry about. It is truly empowering. And if you are religious at all, it felt like actively having a hand in creation. It was an amazing experience. And I totally respect a woman's right to have a baby her way, however, I wish there was more education to support a woman in going natural because it saddens me that so many women miss out on more than HALF of the experience. I didn't know what I missed until the second time around.

ETA: When you are really getting nervous and wondering if you can do it, what helped me was to seriously not even entertain the thought of relief with drugs. I imagined they weren't even an option and I HAD to go through this because that is just what you do. And it helped to have no one around me mention them either.
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  #15  
May 11th, 2008, 08:37 PM
Ali15's Avatar LovingMy3Miracles
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 4,175
Quote:
I'm so glad you found us here! I would love to read your birth story. Have you already posted it here?[/b]

I haven't actually....tomorrow I'll try to do that!
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  #16  
May 12th, 2008, 08:04 AM
Melui's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2008
Location: England to Ohio
Posts: 1,611
remember also that you have done it before and your body remembers and is more ready to stretch this time. The second onen is almost always a lot easier and faster than the first and you of course know that the labour does 'end' (even though it can feel like forever when its going on). The understanding that your body has done it before made it a lot more easier in my mind the second time around.
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  #17  
May 13th, 2008, 08:54 AM
itsmenatalie's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Utah
Posts: 3,805
Thanks again for posting your words of encouragement. I'm actually feeling a lot better now that I know I'm just a few days away. I've been practicint my relaxation techniques and doing some good visualizations and affirmations. I'm getting so excited to hold my baby girl and I know I want to get her here in the most natural way possible.

I am hoping that #2 will be easier, but even if it's not I know I got through 22 hours of back labor with DS, so really, I CAN do it again!

Thank you and I promise to post my birth story as soon as it's happened and I can!
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  #18  
May 13th, 2008, 09:23 AM
Husher's Avatar B & E complete me.
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: NH
Posts: 10,622
Can't wait to read it!
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