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I'm due in July with my second baby and I really want to have a natural birth this time. I had an epidural with my son and had a terrible reaction to it. I felt no pain relief and was extremely itchy. I was miserable. Then when my son was born he wouldn't stay awake and I had a very hard time nursing him. I wish I knew then what I knew now and I would have had a natural birth with him too.
My issue is that I am going to a practice that has 5 midwives and so I'm rotating through each of them. I don't feel really connected to them, they are all very nice...but whenever I ask them questions about the birth, they just tell me "I've got time yet, don't worry, I'll do fine, one of them will be right there"....I've asked them what I need to do to prepare...and they give the same answer..."just don't worry I'll do fine". I'm just nervous that I'm not prepared enough now. I just ordered a few books online...the Birth Book by Dr. Sears, Husband-Coached Childbirth and Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. Are those a good start? IS it too late to really, truly prepare considering I only have 2 months left now?
My mom and DH were in the room last time and will be again. They were both AMAZING. They were both so supportive. DH was right there rubbing my back, putting cool washclothes on my forehead and my mom was helping me to breathe, take my mind off what was going on by talking to me and making sure the dr. and nurses were following my birth plan and remembering my allergy (I'm allergic to adhesive...and they kept wanting to put papertape on my IV). My mom and DH have not read up on anything about a natural childbirth....do you think it is important for them to?
Welcome and congratulations. It's definitely not too late. Just try to educate yourself as much as possible (sounds like you are already starting to do this). It sounds like you have a great spport system in your DH and your mom....that's awesome. You can definitely do this!
I have 3 WEEKS left and I'm just now getting around to reading the natural birth/labor book I bought! It's never too late. It's great that you're going for natural this time around, you will get SO much support here!
About your midwives, don't feel bad if you need to put your foot down for them to give you a straight answer, I hate that bullcrap they do! You need your answers that is what they are there for. Since they rotate if I were you I'd just work on getting to know each one as well as possible. In my case, the OBs rotate too so I'm personally not even going to bother having any appointments with any of them because I feel there's no point since I won't get who I want anyway. I'm just going to bring my doula with me and throw my pregnant weight around the hospital! That being said, if I had more time left I would like to meet and spend some time with each one..
I didn't really prepare for a NCB the first time. I didn't know what I really wanted, or what I intended to do. We did one night in my childbirth class about how to handle a natural birth. One exercise we did was with ice. Our husbands sat behind us and we were told to hold ice in both hands. She started with maybe 15 seconds and worked up to over a minute. This was to help teach us how to focus our attention on something else while we are in pain (in this case, having very cold hands). It definitely doesn't compare completely to what you will experience in childbirth, but it honestly helped me. When I went into labor, I started breathing. That's it, I just focused on breathing through each contraction. In and out, in and out, and it took my mind off the pain. We were also taught ways to visualize, but I always had a hard time doing that. Even though I ended up requesting the epi, I was told it would be a few hours, so knowing I had to deal with the pain, I continued using this technique of focusing on slow and steady breathing. I didn't end up getting the epi until I was fully dialated, so I managed to this through almost the entire labor, only excluding pushing.
I think it's time to really hold your midwife down and get some ideas. Tell her you feel you need to prepare and you want some answers on how to handle the birth. Hopefully they can be helpful with teaching you some techniques and giving you an idea of what to expect.
Andrea, mom to 3 beautiful girls - Abigail (8) Annabelle (5) and Alexis (3)
It's definitely not too late to get the info you need and I think you've done an excellent job with the books you selected!! Knowledge is power so the more you all know the better. If your DH is going to be your voice when you are having a contraction and focusing make sure he knows exactly what you want and have a code word for when you really do want help. With that being said, you can ABSOLUTELY do this so don't doubt yourself. Your body was made to do this and you will be sooooo proud of yourself when you deliver your LO without drugs. You're going to do great!
Don't hesitate to come here and ask questions or just request some encouragement. That is what we are here for! We want you to succeed as much as you do!
I just wanted to thank all of you! Thanks for your support and encouragement! I have my next midwife appt tonight and I plan to be a bit more firm and tell them I really need some ideas for ways to deal with the pain. I also want to be sure they have it down on my chart that I want a tub in the room...only a few rooms have one.
It is not too late, 2 months is a long time. Especially since those last few months of pregnancy seem to be even longer, time almost stood still for me.
The books you have are great. Also try the thinking woman's guide to a better birth. I LOVED Ina May's guide to childbirth. The whole first section is all positive stories about natural birth. So empowering. Another one you might check out is the Bradley Method and Birthing from Within. The first section is a little "out there" talking about birth art and stuff, but there is a lot of great info as well.
Talk to your midwive's office. They really should be giving you more attention and helping you feel comfortable. There is time to change completely if you don't get a satisfying result. Most of the reason people go with midwives is to avoid that rushed and ignored feeling, so if you still get that, look else where.
I do think your birth partners knowing and being supportive about your choice for med free birth is very important. They have to be behind your decision and not pressuring you to take the meds. There will be times when you will doubt your decision and you can't have someone there that doesn't understand that. The Bradley method book has a chapter for the birth partner to read. Also it is helpful if they are fully aware of the reasons you chose this, and why.
The Business of Being Born is a wonderful movie just put out by Ricky Lake and I highly recommend watching it with them both. If that doesn't put them on the same page as you, nothing will.
Hi Angie and welcome! You can definitely have a NCB. And you are already in a good position to have it. Since this is your 2nd you already know what labor is like and you've already seen firsthand the bad effects of drugs on your baby. I think it's key to not let fear take over you. Fear will only intensify the pain and make you doubt your abilities. Trust in your body, it knows how to do this. And I agree that it's important for your DH and mom to know how strongly you desire a NCB so that they can fully support you every step of the way. You will need that encouragement because there will be times when you may doubt yourself.
I also LOVED Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. Read and re-read the true stories of NCB. They will inspire you.
You already have the perfect cocktail to successfully have a natural med-free birth. Just keep fortifying your resolve with reading, with boldly stating your desires to your midwife team and to your personal support team, and when the moment comes...don't be afraid but trust your body and just do it. You can do it!!! CONGRATS!!!!!