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Labor support


Forum: Natural Childbirth

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  #1  
October 15th, 2008, 03:27 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Michigan
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I'm starting to think about who I will want there during my labor and the birth. Right now my plan is to have DH and my mom there, and my midwife of course. I'm a little nervous though, the more I think about it. DH didn't do anything during my last labor, he just sat in the room watching everything. To be honest, I wasn't really in the mood to be touched, but I would have liked if he could have gotten more involved. I want my mom to be able to be present for the birth, but I'm just unsure of how she is going to be. How do you decide who you want there? Should you be 100% confident that they will be good labor support, or err on the side of caution? Is it okay if I start kicking people out if they annoy me during my labor?
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  #2  
October 15th, 2008, 03:44 PM
BabsMitchell's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 173
This will be my first time but the plan is to have DH and my grandmother in the room. My mother wants to be in the waiting room because she simply isn't ready to be present for a birth. Initially it was only going to be DH and my midwife, but my grandmother expressed how she feels the need to be present at family births. I didn't want to take that chance away from her. I don't want a lot of people in the room, so I'm leaving it at that.

I expect DH to be extremely supportive and I'm hoping he learns a lot of techniques when we take the Bradley Method classes. He's really excited about being the 'coach'.

It's up to you who you choose, but I think you have every right to show them the door if they simply aren't being helpful.
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  #3  
October 15th, 2008, 03:49 PM
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I'm not even pregnant yet, but the plan will be to have my DF/DH and my mom in the room. I'm pretty sure we'll also have a doula. My fiance does not handle anything medical or clinical well at all, and there is a good chance that there will have to be someone taking care of him most of the time. When the time comes I may consider even letting my future MIL be present just to handle him when he passes out. I'm thinking that the more support I have the better, and by the time I'm in labor I doubt I'll care who is there, as long as the baby is coming out.

However, I definitely wouldn't think twice about having people leave the room if you are feeling overwhelmed, crowded, or for whatever reason. Several of my friends did this and instead of THEM being the "bad guy" and kicking people out, they had a signal for the nurse/midwife/doula, etc. to have someone or everyone leave the room. That way it's them who looks like the "bad guy" and not you.
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  #4  
October 15th, 2008, 06:04 PM
sillyp's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Georgia
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DH and I have decided it will be just us in the room, and the midwife and doula (if we ever decide on one to hire). My mother was in my room for my first 2 children and my grandmother was in the room for my first as well. It is hard to focus and stay calm with so many other people in there commenting and such while in labor to me.

Have you talked to your DH about wanting him to participate more this time while you're in labor? Maybe he was unsure of what to do for you last time.
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  #5  
October 16th, 2008, 05:55 AM
DoulaMama's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Whatever makes you feel comfortable is the right thing to do.....

oh- and I definatly think it's your right to show someone the door if they're bugging you. I've had to act as crowd control before- and I'm sure your midwife has to.
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  #6  
October 16th, 2008, 06:40 AM
moon~maiden's Avatar Cheryl~ birth truster
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: south eastern Mass
Posts: 13,088
the last person I would personally want in the room is my mom, but that's just do to her personality. I can see how it could be amazing to have your mother present. I guess you might want to just talk to her ahead of time and say you just don't know what you will want at the actual time (which is totally true) and not to have hurt feelings if you ask her to leave.

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  #7  
October 16th, 2008, 10:26 AM
AshleyMarie's Avatar Proud Mommy of Two
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In the final stages (transition and pushing) it will probably be just DH and my best friend... they were there for the birth of DS and we worked great together (Hehe Tiff "The Best Birthing Team Ever!"). Hopefully it will be that way again but we'll see as she may be preggo herself when this baby comes!
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  #8  
October 16th, 2008, 10:51 AM
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I ended up with DH, my best friend, and one of DH's sisters. My best friend was my main coach since she came to Bradley classes with me since DH had to work during them. DH was a little wary of the whole process, so it was good to have someone else there to massage/relax me. My SIL showed up about an hour before Lily was born because DH called her. Her husband and her don't want kids, but she has been present for the births of almost all of our nieces/nephews, so she wanted to be there for Lily's birth. At that point I really didn't care who was in the room.
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  #9  
October 16th, 2008, 01:23 PM
Mystic_Mommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Its always OK to remove people from the room, or you can have a doctor or loved one do it for you. Make your choice on what's going to work best for you and not what everyone else might want. I was worried with DD during labor that I might have to kick my mom out but she turned out to be such a help! She was really all there for me and having her in the room and throughout recovery meant a lot.


Quote:
In the final stages (transition and pushing) it will probably be just DH and my best friend... they were there for the birth of DS and we worked great together (Hehe Tiff "The Best Birthing Team Ever!"). Hopefully it will be that way again but we'll see as she may be preggo herself when this baby comes![/b]

Oh Yeah It was awesome! I know it makes all the difference, so you'll definitely have to be there for me!

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  #10  
October 16th, 2008, 07:48 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Michigan
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DH and I have talked about his role in the last labor, and we're taking the class at the birth The next 2 weeks I think cover the role of the partner in the birth, so I'm hoping that will help. I can understand, I would probably have no clue what to do either in his position! I just picture him holding me up or helping me with positions if I need to, while I'm laboring.
With my mom, I'm just so unsure which way it will go. It's not that I feel obligated to have her there, becuase I want her there and need that labor support of someone who has BTDT. She's given birth to 5 children naturally, and I want her to experience the birth of her grandchild. I just have this fear she'll suddenly become pushy or overbearing during the labor, and with her personality, there's no way to tell. Other than that, I already know I only want in the room who I am completely comfortable with. I want to feel completely "free" in my labor, instead of feeling like I need to hold back because of who is there. KWIM?
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Expecting baby #4 in April - It's a BOY!


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  #11  
October 17th, 2008, 07:16 AM
moon~maiden's Avatar Cheryl~ birth truster
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: south eastern Mass
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yes, I totally KWYM!
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