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Why do people act this way?


Forum: Natural Childbirth

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  #1  
October 29th, 2008, 09:53 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 10,030
I was talking to one of my friends today and accidentally slipped up about how DF and I are TTC. We hadn't told anyone because we didn't want to hear "you're trying before marriage?" or "are you pregnant yet?" So her negativity started when she said "You're going to HATE being pregnant." I almost slipped again and told her she was miserable long before and after she was pregnant but I shut my mouth! We got into this conversation about labor and delivery and she tore me apart for wanting a NCB. She was induced at 38 weeks (for convenience) and ended up having an emergency c-section. And I'm the one who is nuts and crazy and every other word she could come up with. Even worse, she told me that I could never do it and would be begging for pain meds after an hour. At that point I wanted to reach through the phone and smack her.

Ok...I'm done venting now. But she totally gave me even more motivation to have a NCB and to love EVERY minute of my pregnancy, just so that I can prove her wrong!
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  #2  
October 29th, 2008, 10:18 PM
oriel13's Avatar Tishauna
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Ohio
Posts: 6,250
I'm totally with you on this. I am so sick of hearing every mom-friend I know tell me that that my childbirth classes are a waste of time and that I'll break down and get an epidural like everyone else. Somehow I think saying it makes them feel better about their own choices with their birth, especially when their story starts with "yeah well I wanted to go natural too but...." It just adds fuel to my desire for a ncb, I'm not trying to prove anything to anyone but at the same time I'd love to be able to tell them I did it with a smile on my face. Even if I'm not smiling the whole time!

And honestly pregnancy hasn't been all peaches and cream but I'm feeling fantastic right now! I think your own attitude has so much to do with it and yours is great!
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  #3  
October 30th, 2008, 05:52 AM
New_England_Girl's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Chilly New England
Posts: 6,767
I think we've all dealt with that on some level! I've had several friends tell me (before DD was born) that I'd definitely 'need' an epidural and I wouldn't be able to do it naturally. One of them even asked me in the hospital after she was born "So did you get the epidural?"

I was so happy to look her right in the eye and say "No!"

You'll love your pregnancy, hun! It's all in the attitude...if you go into it determined to be wimpy and depressed, you will be. If you go into it determined to have fun and enjoy it, you will!
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  #4  
October 30th, 2008, 06:14 AM
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Thanks girls, that's what I keep thinking. She sat around her house and was miserable for 9 months. No wonder she hated it, all she did was go to work! I saw her twice the entire time she was pregnant, once at 6 weeks when she told me and again for her baby shower! I would go nuts. I agree with you Tishauna, I'm not doing this to prove anything to anyone, but at the same time I want to prove everyone wrong that has doubted me.
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  #5  
October 30th, 2008, 06:41 AM
Husher's Avatar B & E complete me.
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: NH
Posts: 10,622
Oh that is SO frustrating! I agree that you will love being pregnant and even though ncb is not a piece of cake it is so worth it! You will be so proud of yourself and won't be able to hold back from telling everyone that you did it. It's so amazing. People like that just want everyone else to be as miserable as they are. You're going to do great. I just know it!
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  #6  
October 30th, 2008, 06:54 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 3,976
I'm just a lurker here, my daughter is now 3 1/2 months old. First off, congratulations on TTC! I hope that you get your BFP soon!

I guess I'm one of those stories that I wanted to go natural, but...because yes, I did, and ended up with an epidural after 6 hours of hard labor, going from 1 cm to 6 during that time. I really wish that I had stuck it out because I only labored for another 4 hours.

But I wanted to encourage you to read up on as much as possible beforehand and not be afraid to get up and move around into different positions where you feel comfortable. I think I did the worst thing which was laying reclined on my back for most of my labor. I wasn't as prepared or informed enough to handle all the things that came my way during labor. Next time I'm going to read up on it more and try and find ways to handle the things that really bothered me the most...namely the IV-it made me cold, so I was shivering and had blankets piled on me, and it made me pee alot, when I got up to use the bathroom, I got cold and tensed up and started feeling the contractions in my back.

As far as enjoying the pregnancy, I LOVED mine even though I had my share of sciatic pain towards the end, but I just found it to be so awesome that a baby was growing inside of me. It was incredible and I'm actually looking forward to my next pregnancy!

So I just wanted to encourage you that if a NCB is what you want, then that's wonderful and I'm sure you can do it! I went through my pregnancy with the idea and belief that this is what my body was made to do and it CAN do it!

Okay, sorry if I ended up rambling, but really, I just wanted to encourage you!

Hannah
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  #7  
October 30th, 2008, 11:08 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Michigan
Posts: 26,067
How annoying! Sadly, it's only the start. Many parents seem to think that anyone who does differently than they did is wrong. I hate hearing "Why wouldn't you get an epidural?" or when they hear I"m using a birth center "You can't get drugs then? What do you do if you want them?" Well, I don't want them, which is why I'm using a birth center, not a hospital. It's best to just remind yourself why you are makign the choices you are and that you feel you are doing what is best.
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  #8  
October 30th, 2008, 12:58 PM
~Jackie
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Hearing things like that used to really bug me. It made me feel inferior to what they were saying. I've come to the point where I can accept people's ignorance for their own and be happy that I'm not that way. I've also learned that I can put my foot down and end any negative converstion that I don't want to be a part of. There are even posts on JM that I will not read because I know they will only upset me. **HUGS**
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  #9  
October 30th, 2008, 01:47 PM
mgm78's Avatar Zoe's mom Meredith
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: PA
Posts: 17,089
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People suck. I am sorry your friend was like that. Miserable people want everyone else to be miserable. I was shocked to learn at our orientation at the Birth Center that 97% of women get epidurals, that is INSANE!

You go girl!!!!
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  #10  
October 30th, 2008, 03:38 PM
moon~maiden's Avatar Cheryl~ birth truster
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: south eastern Mass
Posts: 13,088
ick, she sounds like a real joy to know!!!
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