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"You don't get a medal for going drug free"


Forum: Natural Childbirth

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  #1  
November 3rd, 2008, 04:51 PM
thepinkleprechaun's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Is anyone else SICK and tired of this BS line that women like to throw out there? I've noticed several women (around the boards) who insist on being negative and getting down on women who want to have natural births. Just because I don't get a shiny gold trophy for not getting an epidural doesn't mean that I'm not getting a reward for it! I get to have a home birth without any annoying doctors or medical interventions, and I get to know for a fact that my baby won't have any adverse effects from drugs.

I'm not trying to judge women who get epidurals. I got one last time when I had to be induced with my daughter, even though I didn't want to I caved in. But seriously, I'm not running around saying "wow you're so stupid for getting an epidural, what's the point?". So I really just wish other women would be supportive and not so darn rude all the time.



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  #2  
November 3rd, 2008, 05:11 PM
moon~maiden's Avatar Cheryl~ birth truster
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I hear ya on that one!!!!!!!!
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  #3  
November 3rd, 2008, 06:47 PM
DoulaMama's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I hear you too!!! I've seen some horrid things on the boards. Worse then you hear in real life often. I think people think that b/c it's a board and not real life that they can say anything.
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  #4  
November 3rd, 2008, 07:05 PM
Husher's Avatar B & E complete me.
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I wish that this didn't happen either. Having an intervention free and completely safe birth is reward enough for me. A lot of these ladies just don't know the facts about the dangers of all those interventions. I just have to believe that if they did a lot less women would agree to them. It's very frustrating though!
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  #5  
November 3rd, 2008, 07:18 PM
Alissa&Isabelle'sMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I know what you mean
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  #6  
November 3rd, 2008, 07:32 PM
LindensMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I know what you mean, It's really annoying.
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  #7  
November 3rd, 2008, 08:02 PM
Kelllilee's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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yeah, I had a conversation with my sister today about NCB. more about using birth centers/home instead of a hospital, but she basically thought I was crazy and just didn't "get" it.

But the "don't be a hero" attitude annoys me. Its as if they think we are only choosing NCB to rub it in their faces or prove we're better than them. and that's SOOOOO not what it's about or what any of us think or do. It's really irritating.
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  #8  
November 3rd, 2008, 08:22 PM
Katty85's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
But the "don't be a hero" attitude annoys me. Its as if they think we are only choosing NCB to rub it in their faces or prove we're better than them. and that's SOOOOO not what it's about or what any of us think or do. It's really irritating.[/b]
I agree, that is the kind of attitude I get about it.
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  #9  
November 3rd, 2008, 08:25 PM
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This really drives me crazy. I think it's a huge accomplishment and anyone who achieves it should be proud. And yet when you say anything about wanting to go natural or that you did go natural it's always like you're nuts or trying to prove a point. I really think they're just trying to make themselves feel better for NOT having a natural birth.
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  #10  
November 3rd, 2008, 10:43 PM
*PurpleMidnight*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I totally agree with you all!
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  #11  
November 4th, 2008, 05:08 AM
thepinkleprechaun's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
I really think they're just trying to make themselves feel better for NOT having a natural birth.[/b]
That's exactly what I was thinking. And even if you tell them all the dangers of interventions and stuff they just ignore it or they don't care! I think deep down they are just insecure when they hear about a woman having a natural birth so they have to be negative about it
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  #12  
November 4th, 2008, 05:09 AM
sillyp's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Yep! A few months ago I posted about the rude woman I work with who needed to go on and on about how stupid I was for having babies drug free.

I don't want or need a medal! Just the fact of knowing that I did it on my own and that feeling of accomplishment and actually being "all there" for the birth of my child is enough for me! I'm so sick of these people telling me things like that. My friend actually did this Friday night when we were at their house after taking the kid trick or treating. "That's what they invented the epdirual for" and so on...so you don't have to feel it...yada yada yada. I'm like look, I've had a child with an epidural and was probably the worst experience I've ever been through in my life and I will NEVER do it again. I felt amazing after having my 2nd child natural and I could ABOSLUTELY tell a difference in both of us by going through delivery drug free. ITS A NO BRAINER. I feel no need to argue back and forth about the effects of drugs and epdiruals with people either - they're ignorance is not my problem. I've never been confrontational and don't feel like wasting my time and energy trying to get them to see that drugs and epidurals aren't the only way to have a "pain-free" delivery.

Take that "medal" and shove it! I'm really sick of having to defend making such a WONDERFUL and positive decision!
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  #13  
November 4th, 2008, 05:32 AM
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Oh I don't have patience for that. LOL!
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  #14  
November 4th, 2008, 05:37 AM
New_England_Girl's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I've heard that IRL and here...I still don't understand why you'd want an epi...so I guess we're even.
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  #15  
November 4th, 2008, 07:25 AM
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well I have to admit I loved my epi. lol would I do it again? no, but it was nice. I didn't have any problems with it.
Luckily the people I am around, a few of them have gone natural so to them its not a big deal. Now the boards definately different. To each is own. I have to admit though that the main reason I am going to a midwife at a birthing center is because I couldn't stand the tkaing the baby away thing, the have to have this this and that thing, the "if your baby doesnt have a bm in a few hours we have to give formula" well geez she pooped in me its obviously working!!!
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  #16  
November 4th, 2008, 07:44 AM
MamaBx3
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I agree - it's VERY annoying. It's like they are implying that we decide to have a natural birth so we can brag about it.
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  #17  
November 4th, 2008, 11:08 AM
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Well, it doesn't really bother me, because it's true. I don't get a medal. I do it because it's what I want to do, and I feel it's best for me. I think most of the women who say things like that are really trying to say that they are no less women and mothers for birthing with drugs. And I can totally support that. Especially since, despite all my efforts and best intentions, it may be that I will have to use drugs at some point.

Now, the women who are really trying to say, "you are crazy for not using drugs!" are another story. It's my decision, and it's a valid decision. I'm not crazy in the least.
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  #18  
November 4th, 2008, 11:17 AM
~Jackie
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^^ I'll go with that
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  #19  
November 4th, 2008, 09:10 PM
Mystic_Mommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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*nods* I hear you. I also ended up getting an epidural with my daughter, despite wanting a NCB. I still see it everywhere though, people giving others a hard time who choose to go all natural... but I think it is out of insecurity and maybe sometimes guilt? People should be able to make the choice that is right for THEM and for their individual situation... cause no birth is the same and not everyone has the choice. I see it both ways too... sometimes women who have had a natural child birth act like they are better than those who were unable to achieve a drug free birth. Its sad.... why do so many people feel the need to pass judgment on others?? I want nothing more than to have a drug free all natural birthing experience with my next baby, and it would really upset me if some stranger was negative in any way towards me because of it.
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  #20  
November 6th, 2008, 07:13 AM
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I agree with all of you!!! So many people think I am just plain crazy for wanting a NCB. I don't think many women realize just the risks they take with interventions. During nursing school and my OB rotation, I saw several women get stuck several times for an epidural and in the long run it didn't end up working at all.
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