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stripping membranes without consent or knowledge


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  #1  
November 19th, 2008, 07:05 PM
oriel13's Avatar Tishauna
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WWYD?

http://www.justmommies.com/boards/index.ph...owtopic=1352741
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  #2  
November 19th, 2008, 07:24 PM
Kelllilee's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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what the HECK?! That's just wrong! Especially given you are 37 weeks! i would be livid. Not sure what you can do about it though...
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  #3  
November 19th, 2008, 07:32 PM
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I would be pissed too! She could have at least told you what she was doing if she wasnt going to ask. At this point though all you can do is say something. How is the bleeding now?
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  #4  
November 19th, 2008, 08:19 PM
moon~maiden's Avatar Cheryl~ birth truster
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wow.....I don't know what to say. That is pretty invasive and I personally would be pissed. I might complain but I'm not sure if I would do it before or after the birth.

One thing you should do is be very clear on what you consent to from now on. Do you have a doula, I can't remember. Do you have a birth plan?
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  #5  
November 19th, 2008, 08:42 PM
oriel13's Avatar Tishauna
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The bleeding is better now, it's more like spotting. It's still enough to need a pad but hopefully will stop by tomorrow.

I have a birth plan on file, I just went over it with her last week which makes me even more angry that she did this anyway. I don't know how much clearer I can make it when she read my plan and didn't even ask for my consent before doing it. I don't have a doula, I had one lined up who fell through who was going to do it pro-bono. I have not found anyone since then who we can afford so I shelved the idea and it's just me and DH from here on out. I was at this appointment alone as I will be at the others due to his work schedule.
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  #6  
November 20th, 2008, 06:49 AM
moon~maiden's Avatar Cheryl~ birth truster
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I'm going to post your whole message on my Doula training email list and ask them what they recommend. Hope that's ok.

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  #7  
November 20th, 2008, 08:35 AM
mgm78's Avatar Zoe's mom Meredith
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oh my goodness. I do not know what to say. I would be furious. Thankfully the bleeding has almost stopped. 37 weeks is too early and not to tell you or get your consent does not sound right to me. A friend of mine had an endometriol biopsy with out any real consent and flipped out afterwards. And she is a nurse. I would keep trying to find a doula, you need one. Are there other OBs in the practice?
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  #8  
November 20th, 2008, 08:49 AM
MamaBx3
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I'd be really mad that she didn't ask - but if she did ask me I would have said yes .. I don't like prolonging anything, let alone labor!

I think she did it only because you were moving along nicely and she knew that it would speed things up for you.
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  #9  
November 20th, 2008, 10:10 AM
moon~maiden's Avatar Cheryl~ birth truster
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here are the answers I have gotten so far


1- Has she tried contacting the program that offers doula services to wives of diployed soldiers? I know the each state has a coordinator that might be able to help her find a pro bono doula. While it does not sound like her husband is deployed, they might take see the value of helping her in this situation.
Sorry I don't have the website handy. I am not neart my computer.



2- Operation Special Delivery provides free doula service for all military wives.

I'd report that OB to the hospital's governing board. Stripping membranes is a medical procedure...it shouldn't be done without informed consent.


3- http://www.operationspecialdelivery.com> www.operationspecialdelivery.com

1-888-MY-CAPPA, osd@cappa.net

I'll post any more that come in!
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  #10  
November 20th, 2008, 10:24 AM
oriel13's Avatar Tishauna
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Quote:
I'm going to post your whole message on my Doula training email list and ask them what they recommend. Hope that's ok.[/b]
That's fine, I appreciate it. I'm still spotting a bit this morning but not as crampy and achy anymore. I really wish she hadn't done this, I was against any cervix checks before labor but she was persuasive and I'd been having ctx anyway so I thought there wouldn't be any harm in letting her check. I understand that I was already progressing but I didn't want to rush labor at all, I'm a big believer in things happening when they're supposed to happen (and stripping them hasn't done a darn thing for my progression anyway, I'm not contracting any more than I was before she got involved, it feels like less actually). And then to do this and send me home bleeding so heavily with no explanation except "bloody show" is just ridiculous. I honestly started wondering if something was wrong with my placenta or if I/we were going to be okay until I found out what she did, no one I know of has heard of that much bleeding and passing clots that size after stripping the membranes. I don't understand how my consent for a cervix checked turned into her thinking this was okay with me. Now I have family and friends who keep calling every 5 minutes to see if I'm dying or in labor (and I've regrettably ended up snapping on all of them because I am hormonal and don't need extra stress from having to reassure them over and over).....as well as DH who is afraid to come near me and treating me like I'm made of glass because he thinks I'm going to bleed out or something.

I would love to have a doula, but again, no one in my area is in my price range. There is one girl locally who was looking for her first birth for training but I didn't click with her at all. The only experienced person who would do it pro-bono backed out and we don't have $400+ to spend right now with our move coming up.

Thanks for listening ladies. Regardless of her intent I just feel violated because my opinion was never asked for and because she tried to play it off as a normal part of the cervix check even though she knew she had stripped me...it's my body, my labor, my baby and I shouldn't have to worry about my own doctor being upfront with me.

I don't know yet what I will do. I do think that I will be making a complaint but I will probably wait until after delivery (in case anything else comes up and because I have to get through the next days/weeks with her as my OB anyway). In the meantime I'm going to get some red raspberry leaf tea, the wheels are already in motion so I might as well give it a shot since DTD is out of the question with DH so freaked out.
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  #11  
November 20th, 2008, 10:33 AM
oriel13's Avatar Tishauna
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Quote:
here are the answers I have gotten so far


1- Has she tried contacting the program that offers doula services to wives of diployed soldiers? I know the each state has a coordinator that might be able to help her find a pro bono doula. While it does not sound like her husband is deployed, they might take see the value of helping her in this situation.
Sorry I don't have the website handy. I am not neart my computer.



2- Operation Special Delivery provides free doula service for all military wives.

I'd report that OB to the hospital's governing board. Stripping membranes is a medical procedure...it shouldn't be done without informed consent.


3- http://www.operationspecialdelivery.com> www.operationspecialdelivery.com

1-888-MY-CAPPA, osd@cappa.net

I'll post any more that come in![/b]
Thank you for doing that. Unfortunately OSD is not an option. My husband is no longer deployed, he came home on November 2. I spoke to Operation Special Delivery by phone last month. I was told that they do not offer free services to all military wives, only those whose husband will be deployed overseas for the birth. I was told that if I accepted a doula assignment from them that I would be responsible for the doula's fees to continue her services upon DH's return (unless he didn't make it back for the birth, which isn't a concern now). It didn't sound like they were interested in helping me find someone to help with my situation. That's why I was trying to find a doula on my own. One other doula I called said she couldn't help but would ask around a bit for me and that's how I ended up talking to the one lady who contacted me. At this point I would not feel comfortable working with someone who doesn't have a moderate level of experience now that I have seen how things can just happen or be done to me with no warning or discussion.
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  #12  
November 20th, 2008, 12:32 PM
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I am suprised she did that anyway. I had mine down twice with Abigail, and it didn't do a darn thing. I had some cramping, maybe a tiny bit of spotting, but I don't feel that it was helpful. I was already 2cm when it was done the first time. When I had it done, I asked that she do it when she did my check and she said sure. Afterwords, we were talking and something came up, and she said "Oh, you're a first time mom? I wouldn't normally do that for a first time mom. You sounded like you knew what you were talking about so I assumed you had it done before."
I'm also a firm believer that nature will take it's course as needed. Our bodies won't go into labor until they are ready, no matter what we do to try and pursuade them. After trying for 3 weeks to put myself into labor, I realized that. This time, I'm happy to sit back and let labor happen on it's own. The funny thing is, the night I said "Okay, I'm done with this, I'll go into labor when I'm ready" and sure enough, that's the night I went into labor. I guess I just needed to relax
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  #13  
November 20th, 2008, 06:31 PM
littlebabydolly
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At least were not in the days where if your baby was crowning they'd knock you out and strap you to a table on your back! (just read about in Hypnobirthing book) Still though, it's so violating. My midwife doesn't even do vaginal checks yet 'cause Im sure its not needed. It's a nice way to respect the privacy and modesty of a woman.
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  #14  
November 20th, 2008, 07:51 PM
LadyLuck's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I agree w/ the others that it was very invasive for her to do that w/o your consent. But like you said, I would wait to complain until after the delivery just so it doesn't make things harder on you b/w now and then. Good luck!
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  #15  
November 20th, 2008, 09:22 PM
Alissa&Isabelle'sMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Ek I can't believe she did that. Usually they do that @ 38 39 weeks. I wouldn't want that done, owie. I would be so mad, they better not do that to me without consent.
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  #16  
November 20th, 2008, 09:41 PM
moon~maiden's Avatar Cheryl~ birth truster
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another reply:

Try Belly Women...offering free and low cost doula
services....usually doulas who need their certifying births, but also
doulas who attend a few pro bono births as a service to the community.
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  #17  
November 21st, 2008, 06:03 AM
oriel13's Avatar Tishauna
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Quote:
another reply:

Try Belly Women...offering free and low cost doula
services....usually doulas who need their certifying births, but also
doulas who attend a few pro bono births as a service to the community.[/b]
Are the belly women listings available somewhere else? I have been trying to view their listings online for over a month now (I think CherylK is the one who originally gave me the link) and that section of their site has been down the entire time. Maybe the site isn't being maintained anymore?
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  #18  
November 24th, 2008, 11:12 AM
Husher's Avatar B & E complete me.
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That makes me so angry for you! I can't believe she did that without asking you! I'm so sorry hun! I think Belly Women has been down for a bit. I tried looking at that site about a month ago as well and can't get in to that part of it anymore. I'm so bummed for you. Just prep your DH to be a soldier in the delivery room because you will not feel like fighting them when you are having contractions. I'm sure he'll do a fine job!

Oh and I just wanted to offer my own experience with dilating this early. With my son I was 1-2 cm dilated at 36 weeks and the OB told me there is no way I'd make it to my due date. Turns out that the day my water broke, at 41 weeks 1 day, I was still only 2 cm dilated. So you could possibly be in this state for some time yet. Try to relax and enjoy the last few days/weeks. I got so stressed out thinking that it could be any day now and it wasn't before my due date after all.

*HUGS*
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  #19  
November 24th, 2008, 05:42 PM
DoulaMama's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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wow- I would be LIVID!!! I would contact ACOG and report her, your state board and report her, the AMA, and the hospital she works at!!!

I would also do it BEFORE you give birth, and make an appt to speak with ehr and let her know that you did that. Make it very clear that she violated you, and that you will press battery charges if she does anything else without your consent.

that "warning" will likely scare her into acting decently, and she cannot refuse to care for you.... well she can, but she has to provide referrals for other care providers and you can still see her for 30 days- so she pretty much has no way out of being your OB.

I'm very much an advocate of being level headed and polite when dealing with doctors- but onlt to a point.This lady needs a BIG wake up call- she is not G-d- and she has NO right to have violated you like that.

I would also refuse further vagina checks before labor lest she "accidently" breaks your waters. Your baby isn't ready to come out yet, and from my understanding your goal is to wait for your little boy to pick his own birth day.
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