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Discouraging friends :-(


Forum: Natural Childbirth

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  #1  
January 14th, 2009, 04:41 PM
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Ok, so I have been looking into birthing centers near my home (which are all out of state b/c NJ has none) and I also just found out my insurance will cover one, so it got me really really excited to have this kind of opportunity. Well I was really excited so I started sharing it with a couple of my friends and from both of them I got all kinds of discouraging remarks, b/c the closest one is 30 miles, which to me is not that far. But they both said, "oh what if you dont make it, thats so far, you'll have to drive a lot" etc. I just dont understand why people are so discouraging towards birthing centers and natural laor...the only conclusion I can come to is, b/c they didnt have one, and arent going to have one, and so they are ridiculing the idea b/c they know nothing of it? id ont know, I guess just venting here, does anyone else have the same problems?
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  #2  
January 14th, 2009, 05:08 PM
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I've shared my ideas and beliefs on NCB with SOME of my friends and all but two of them have had nothing but discouraging comments and remarks. I think that it just boils down to not being educated on the subject. You will get some wonderful support from the ladies here. Sadly, I sometimes feel like I'm better off keeping my mouth shut on the matter when I'm talking to certain people just to avoid that confrontation.
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  #3  
January 14th, 2009, 11:01 PM
*PurpleMidnight*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Im sorry they are being likee that. Make sure you do what YOU want to do!
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  #4  
January 15th, 2009, 04:15 AM
mgm78's Avatar Zoe's mom Meredith
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Ignore them. Follow your heart. Come here for NCB support. Is your birth center in PA? Mine is 45 mins away (in PA) and worth every minute of that drive. My friend delivered her two boys there and she lives at least an hour away.
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  #5  
January 15th, 2009, 05:12 AM
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The one i'm looking at is huntingdon valley, in PA, it would take between 45min to an hour to get there from here on base in Jersey, which do you go to in PA? I'm in the market to find out! lol
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  #6  
January 15th, 2009, 05:46 AM
snlemon's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm driving 40 miles to deliver in a hospital! lol....so I don't find driving that time for a birth center ridiculous at all...
But yes, everyone I talk to is pretty much totally dismissive of NCB as a valid option. To quote the most annoying con-NCB quote ever...they really view it as the whole dentist thing...why would you go natural when getting a cavity filled, etc.

And when it comes to risks...I feel like, yes a lot of people aren't informed...but most of them don't want to be...or even if they are they somewhat informed it really comes down to the fact that NCB HURTS...and god forbid they have to suffer anymore than neccesary for this child. I hate that whole "happy mommy happy baby" thing...it's really not true, there are a lot of things in life that don't make me "happy" but that I have to do anyways becuase I'm attempting to be a responsible adult!

JMO obviously!...
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  #7  
January 15th, 2009, 05:47 AM
NutMeg76's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Well, my advice is to ditch them and hang out with people who share your views! Not, totally, but it is good to know people IRL who do see birth the way you do.

I know someone in your neighborhood whois into NCB

Somewhere around 4215 FCN? Is that close enough.....lol
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  #8  
January 15th, 2009, 06:02 AM
Husher's Avatar B & E complete me.
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It is extremely unlikely that you won't make it 30 miles. This is my second child and driving almost an hour (when there is NO traffic) to go to a birthing center in another state as well. You are doing what is best for you and your baby and if they don't understand that it's because they don't know the facts and are just trying to discourage you because they "couldn't" do it. I say keep your exciting about the birth center and please keep us updated!
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  #9  
January 15th, 2009, 06:03 AM
DoulaMama's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm sorry they are discouraging! But don't let it get to you. And NO- 30 minutes is not too far to drive.
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  #10  
January 15th, 2009, 06:20 AM
NutMeg76's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I will be going to a hospital in Trenton, so just because it isn't a birth center does not mean it will be closer. The closest hospitals are Virtua in Mount Holly and Centra State in Freehold, and even those are about at least 30 minutes from here.

With my last I went to a hospital that was 40 minutes from home, even though we lived less than 5 minutes from Centra State. Since Centra State had a c-section rate of 48% in 2006 I decided I wanted to steer clear of them!
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  #11  
January 15th, 2009, 08:16 AM
mgm78's Avatar Zoe's mom Meredith
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Quote:
The one i'm looking at is huntingdon valley, in PA, it would take between 45min to an hour to get there from here on base in Jersey, which do you go to in PA? I'm in the market to find out! lol[/b]
I am at the Birth Center in Bryn Mawr, that will be a bit farther for you, probably.
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  #12  
January 15th, 2009, 08:24 AM
shannaj's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I get 10 million questions anytime anyone asks me where I am delivering. The hospital that I am delivering at is a 45 minute drive from my house. That is because it is the only hospital that allows a midwife and a doula to help me. They are more like a birthing center within a hospital. And God forbid I mention I have a doula. That is like opening a new can of worms. Its amazing how many people have no clue what a doula is. People here always call it my abdoula, and are under the impression they are a waste of time. I hate always having to justify my decisions and reasons behind them. Usually their response is that my husband is there for support, that I don't need a doula. I know my husband will be good for holding my hand when the time comes, but he won't be able to help with positioning, specialized massage, helping make on the fly decisions...I feel so much more confident that we have a doula.

You are completely right though...people put it down because they don't know any better. I have found that to so many people, the idea of a natural childbirth sounds too granola for them...meanwhile it is what is best for me and the baby. Again, if I could access the head banging against the wall from work...there would be a few of them in this post! lmao
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  #13  
January 15th, 2009, 10:17 AM
ShaunaB's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Don't let them get to you Hun! Just keep yourself confident by reading, reading, and reading some more of the positive, successful stories. And always come here for full support. We know you can do it and will give you nothing but encouragement!
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  #14  
January 15th, 2009, 11:44 AM
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: McGuire AFB
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thank you all so much for your words of encouragement :-) Means so much more to me! I'm actually not pregnant yet, my husband and I are waiting until september to concieve, but we didnt exactly prevent it this past cycle, so I shall see if my period comes up in a weke or so!

Quote:
Well, my advice is to ditch them and hang out with people who share your views! Not, totally, but it is good to know people IRL who do see birth the way you do.

I know someone in your neighborhood whois into NCB

Somewhere around 4215 FCN? Is that close enough.....lol[/b]

yes mam! lol I'm 4017, so i think your just around the corner from me! :-) lol So your on #5? thats awesome!!! I want a big family too!
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  #15  
January 15th, 2009, 12:53 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 3,658
Quote:
I get 10 million questions anytime anyone asks me where I am delivering. The hospital that I am delivering at is a 45 minute drive from my house. That is because it is the only hospital that allows a midwife and a doula to help me. They are more like a birthing center within a hospital. And God forbid I mention I have a doula. That is like opening a new can of worms. Its amazing how many people have no clue what a doula is. People here always call it my abdoula, and are under the impression they are a waste of time. I hate always having to justify my decisions and reasons behind them. Usually their response is that my husband is there for support, that I don't need a doula. I know my husband will be good for holding my hand when the time comes, but he won't be able to help with positioning, specialized massage, helping make on the fly decisions...I feel so much more confident that we have a doula.

You are completely right though...people put it down because they don't know any better. I have found that to so many people, the idea of a natural childbirth sounds too granola for them...meanwhile it is what is best for me and the baby. Again, if I could access the head banging against the wall from work...there would be a few of them in this post! lmao[/b]


i keep getting these questions more and more as march approaches - ppl just don't understand birthing centers, ncb, or doulas. it's not what they did, so... they just don't understand it.
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