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SO upset!!


Forum: Natural Childbirth

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  #1  
April 10th, 2009, 01:28 PM
LadyLuck's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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So I had my appt today because they wanted to talk about induction because the baby is so "big". Turns out, the dr didn't talk about induction at all, he just wanted me to have a c-section this afternoon!!!!!!

My doula couldn't go with me to the appt because her babysitter cancelled at the last minute so I was stuck batteling this dr on my own for 45 mins.

Because I am measuring 45cm and the u/s is showing the baby being big, he pulled out all the scare tactics on shoulder dystocia... how the baby can die, be paralyzed, have severe nerve damage, etc. And if I'm willing to take those risks into my own hands then sure, I can forgo the c-section and attempt a vaginal delivery. I asked him how often those extreme cases have happened in all his years of delievering babies, and he sheepishly answered not very often. In fact, he's only hand a few temporary arm paralysis. But do you know how much it makes you feel like crap to have to verbally say, yes I'll risk all these things happening to my baby so that I can attempt a natural delivery?! I couldn't help but cry.

Oh, and I'm no longer a candidate to deliver at the birth center at the hospital because in his words, "they aren't prepared to deliver big babies and the beds aren't good for delivery if shoulder dystocia occurs". WTH?? So now I HAVE to go to the regular L&D, where he says I'll still be free to move around and use the shower or tub... but it's just not the same.

I feel like all my plans are crumbling before me. I never dealt with this when my DD was born. I only dealt with midwives at a freestanding birth center and it was heaven. It's so hard to have had such an amazing birth experience with her and now have to deal with this. My doula is going to help me labor at home until the last possible minute, I think that's about all I can do at this point.

The dr did check me and I'm 4cm and 50%, so I have increased 1cm since Tuesday. He said he thinks I'll go this weekend but I guess you never know. I have an appt scheduled for Mon. if I don't deliver this weekend, and they'll want to discuss induction then.

UGH!!! I wish I was still living in California and didn't have to deal with any of this crap. Not to mention my husband isn't around, I really need him right now.

Thanks for listening and letting me vent...
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  #2  
April 10th, 2009, 01:43 PM
PixieQueen's Avatar Hi-Tech Hippie
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Big hugs! I'm so sorry you had to deal with that on your own! Good for you for standing up to him though, and yay for 1 more cm!
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  #3  
April 10th, 2009, 01:49 PM
NutMeg76's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I am sorry he is such a butt! Did you check out hte link I posted in the other thread? They would have to do soemthing like 1500 c-section to avoid 1 case of shoulder dystocia. And you have a PROVEN pelvis, you already gave birth to a 9 lb baby. After the first birth you can very easily deliver a bigger baby vaginally because the pelivs has already been expanded once before.

Can you relistically go to a hospital where he doesn't have privledges to deliver? You would end up with a random on call OB, but it might not be worse than his scare tactics.
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  #4  
April 10th, 2009, 01:51 PM
mgm78's Avatar Zoe's mom Meredith
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OMG. I am so sorry you had to go thru that. What an asshat doctor. I am sorry you cannot birth at the birth center, i am at a birth center and know that is a big fear of mine. We have an ideal picture of our birth and it is hard to not have that. I hope you do go over the weekend. Eat some spicy food, have some big o's, get another acupuncture treatment, etc. Do what you can to go asap. Who makes the final call about the birth center? was it this guy? Do you know anyone with a TENS unit?
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  #5  
April 10th, 2009, 02:06 PM
LadyLuck's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ablepearl View Post
I am sorry he is such a butt! Did you check out hte link I posted in the other thread? They would have to do soemthing like 1500 c-section to avoid 1 case of shoulder dystocia. And you have a PROVEN pelvis, you already gave birth to a 9 lb baby. After the first birth you can very easily deliver a bigger baby vaginally because the pelivs has already been expanded once before.

Can you relistically go to a hospital where he doesn't have privledges to deliver? You would end up with a random on call OB, but it might not be worse than his scare tactics.
Yep, I saw the article and mentioned some things from it to him but he really didn't care to hear it. He knows I birthed a 9lb baby and thinks I have that on my side but it's still his job to scare me to death, I guess.

Unfortunately, this is the only hospital my insurance covers. The good thing is, he is not the only dr that can deliver me, I have seen all the dr's at the office so anyone is up for grabs, kwim?

Quote:
Originally Posted by mgm78 View Post
OMG. I am so sorry you had to go thru that. What an asshat doctor. I am sorry you cannot birth at the birth center, i am at a birth center and know that is a big fear of mine. We have an ideal picture of our birth and it is hard to not have that. I hope you do go over the weekend. Eat some spicy food, have some big o's, get another acupuncture treatment, etc. Do what you can to go asap. Who makes the final call about the birth center? was it this guy? Do you know anyone with a TENS unit?
He makes the final call... he's actually the dr that started the birth center at the hospital, believe it or not!!

Don't know anyone with a TENS unit...
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  #6  
April 10th, 2009, 02:16 PM
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I am so sorry you had to go through, and all by yourself. All I have to say about that doctor is give me a freakin' break. I'm glad you're going to have a doula and I would also ask for a NCB friendly nurse when you get to the hospital. I'm praying Evan will make his appearance this weekend....maybe he'll be an Easter baby.
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  #7  
April 10th, 2009, 02:18 PM
ShaunaB's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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OMG Honey, I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this. I hope you go into active labor soon, you're SO close! It's a great idea to labor at home with your doula as long as possible. Then go that hospital and show to docs how to you can birth that baby just fine, thank you very much! You can do it!
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  #8  
April 10th, 2009, 02:20 PM
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Oh, I also wanted to add that you can rent TENS units (usually from a physical therapy place) if you're interested into looking into that.
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  #9  
April 10th, 2009, 02:24 PM
NutMeg76's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Are you at a regular Marine base? OR is DH a reservist? If he is active duty and you are near the base I am 100% certain someone you know has a TENS unit! They give them out like candy to patients.
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  #10  
April 10th, 2009, 03:05 PM
mgm78's Avatar Zoe's mom Meredith
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Yes! If you can find a TENS, look up these acupuncture points and place them on them:

Large Intestine 4, Spleen 6, Bladder 32, Bladder 33. (actually the bladder ones are on the sacrum, just place the TENS on the sacrum, that will be close enough with those large pads)
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  #11  
April 10th, 2009, 03:15 PM
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What crap, I can't believe they won't let you deliver at the birth center for a "big baby". I'm sorry that doctor was such a jerk, I hope your birth goes smoothly though, despite what he's trying to force you into.
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  #12  
April 10th, 2009, 03:27 PM
liveandlove0725's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm so sorry. I am proud of you for holding your ground though! He sounds like an idiot - I pray that you still have a great birth experience. I know you can and I believe you will. BIG HUGS I'm sorry you have to deal w/ this w/o your hubby.

BIG HUGS
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  #13  
April 10th, 2009, 04:14 PM
sillyp's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I am so upset with your doc for you about this, Jess!
Good for you for standing up for yourself and what you want. I wish I had the magic words to make you feel better.
I agree with the other ladies, keep trying things at home and hopefully you'll go into labor this weekend. I'm sure this must all be so exhausting for you. Don't let your doc get you down!
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  #14  
April 10th, 2009, 05:21 PM
The Purple Butterfly's Avatar Stacey
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sillyp View Post
I am so upset with your doc for you about this, Jess!
Good for you for standing up for yourself and what you want. I wish I had the magic words to make you feel better.
I agree with the other ladies, keep trying things at home and hopefully you'll go into labor this weekend. I'm sure this must all be so exhausting for you. Don't let your doc get you down!
Ditto and I sure hope you can get a hold of a TENS machine! KUP! I'll be praying for you.
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  #15  
April 10th, 2009, 05:30 PM
~ Ada ~'s Avatar Zen
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How upsetting that he would act this way, like others have stated, I don't
understand how the *possibility* of a big baby automatically disqualifies you
from having a birth center birth.
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  #16  
April 10th, 2009, 05:59 PM
Kelllilee's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I would have asked him what the heck the TYPE of bed has to do with shoulder dystocia?!! most of the time to unstick a baby with it you would get on your hands and knees... so what do the BED have to do with it?!

I'm sorry he's such a butt!! Hopefully everything will work out fine and don't listen to his scare tactics! That's why there are so many unnecessary c/s. booo!
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  #17  
April 10th, 2009, 06:58 PM
*PurpleMidnight*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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what an idiot of a doctor! Im glad you stood your ground though! I actually had Shoulder distocia with Noah b/c he was so big. I delivered on a normal hospital bed with him and just needed extra help (legs at head height pushing against peoples hands...he popped out pretty quick from that position). He was fine though (did need oxygen due to shock..about 30 seconds worth if that). I hope you can go into labour yourself this weekend!
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  #18  
April 10th, 2009, 07:07 PM
Sunny in CO's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm so sorry! Way to go for standing up to him. Sending lots of labor vibes your way.
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  #19  
April 10th, 2009, 07:38 PM
LadyLuck's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cazza View Post
what an idiot of a doctor! Im glad you stood your ground though! I actually had Shoulder distocia with Noah b/c he was so big. I delivered on a normal hospital bed with him and just needed extra help (legs at head height pushing against peoples hands...he popped out pretty quick from that position). He was fine though (did need oxygen due to shock..about 30 seconds worth if that). I hope you can go into labour yourself this weekend!
How big was Noah, just wondering? And was that a natural delivery?
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  #20  
April 10th, 2009, 09:38 PM
soImarriedAnerd's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Sending you tons of labor vibes. and I have NO idea what bed type has to do with a big baby--if anything a regular bed would be better because you can move around easier! I HATE when doctors pull this crap on emotional women! *kicks your doctors in the balls and yells at him for trying to scare a friend*
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